The Schaf

Food for thought

2011-12-08T11:43:00.000-08:00

Tomasz has made a much welcome return to the Twittersphere; he apologies for his recent silence, but I'm sure he's been busy with other things.

Firstly he has attended an event organised by Food Network UK, a television channel that describes itself as: The ultimate food destination. Loads of recipes and videos to satisfy your every craving. Watch us on Sky 262, Freeview 49 and freesat 405.

A fellow attendee of the event, was a baker called Edd Kimber-- who took this lovely shot of himself with The Schaf

I'm not sure why His Loveliness was invited to this event {i}: Maybe my notion of yore could be could be coming true, a cookery show with Rustie Lee. I can picture it now; Tomasz showing off his hot perogis, while Rustie cackles anarchically in the background.

In the past couple of days, Tomasz has been keeping us updated on the strong winds over Scotland. Tulloch Bridge in Perth & Kinross recorded a gust of 105mph, while Glasgow Airport had gusts of over 70mph! The highest speed recorded has reportedly been at Cairngorm (Highlands) 165mph-- only 8mph short of the all-time record. I bet that ruffles the feathers of the ptarmigan.

Some wags have named the storm Hurricane Bawbag {ii}, a name that seems to have quickly gained popularity. However, as Michael Fish will tell you {iii}, we can't get hurricanes in this country; just as well, because I don't think Scotland would like 14 inches of rain in one day! (It would bring the midges out)

Tomasz explains:
I see there is some discussion about "hurricanes" and "hurricane force winds". Hurricanes only happen in the subtropics and close to the tropics. It's a term that describes a cluster of spinning thunderstorms about an "eye". The winds which blow inside a hurricane are of "hurricane force".

Hurricane winds blow at least 74mph with gusts of 90mph or more. Today, we in fact, had hurricane force winds in the UK, but not generated by a spinning cluster of thunderstorms (a "hurricane"). The winds today were brought by a mid-lattitude storm which is common in our climate. So, you can have "hurricane winds" but not necessarily produced by a tropical hurricane.

The good news is that the winds are expected to die down a little overnight. However temperatures will struggle to get much above freezing (only 3C expected in my neck of the woods tomorrow), which means blizzards are possible on high ground.

In fact some snow has already fallen across the Pennines; as is 'traditional', the marvellous Tan Hill Inn in North Yorkshire (Britain's highest pub) was cut off by snow yesterday-- ultimate lock-in. Just as well it has its own snow-plough!

Stay safe in the winds, if you're in Scotland.

{i} To help make some dough rise, perhaps
{ii} For those who have not watched Dr Finlay or Taggart, that's a gentleman's scrotal sac (IE "ball-bag")
{iii} And has been doing since 1987

Monocle musings

2011-11-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Good greetings one and all.

A long time since I last updated this blog-- for that I can only apologise-- but tidings of Tomasz have been unforthcoming of late.

However some news of interest, for those jet-setters amongst you. For The Schaf has a job doing weather forecasts for the radio station of Monocle, an off-shoot of the eponymous magazine of all things of chique culture, for people who know Sir Paul Smith from WHSmith.

The weather forecasts are for those glamorous jet-setter locations: Monaco, Zurich, Dubai, Chamonix, Middlesbrough and so on. I suspect its only a matter of time before His Loveliness graces the pages of said magazine itself.

So look out for Tomasz, when you're on your hols....

Precipitation conversation

2011-08-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

My suspicions were proven to be founded, when The Schaf appeared on Chris Evans's Radio 2 show {i}, this time in person! Well... on the other end of the phone anyway, as Chris's mystery guest. In this segment Chris has to conduct a three-minute entertaining interview, with a guest unknown to Chris-- until his producer reveals his or hers indentity just before the chat.

Tomasz got off to an enthusiastic start, praising the producer's rich introduction. With Friday's show in mind, Chris enquired about Tomasz's surname: His Loveliness confirmed it is Austrian, but some debate as to its meaning. It appears certain that the "Schafer" part means sheep, so Tomasz mused that it probably means shepherd.

Chris remarked he thought the name had a great meter {ii}, and loved saying it. Chris then asked if any of Tomasz's family come from Austria: Tomasz commented that he been discussing this with his father recently, and the Schafernakers he knows of, are largely of Polish and Russian extraction.

Chris then discussed Tomasz's first name, confirming the correct spelling and pronunciation, which enthused Chris. The Schaf self-depreciatingly chuckled that most of the mail he gets, is misspelt. Even so, I think it's a wonderfully distinctive name, don't you?

Finally talk turned to the the item which intially attracted the show's interest and praise from Moira Stewart, that was the rain-gauge. Tomasz discussed its construction, before the three-minute limit elapsed.

Here's the link, which expires on Sunday...
Fast-foward to 02:07:13

Enjoy!

{i} For those outside the UK, that's not the actor Chris Evans, rather a (in)famous media magnate.

{ii} Better than iambic pentameter, even.

Marvellous Moira

2011-08-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

Those listening to Chris Evans's Radio 2 show this morning will have got a nice surprise, as The Schaf was mentioned not once-- but twice!

Firstly a texter called John, mentioned His Loveliness's video on the BBC website (drink me) about building a rain gauge, in reference to the torrential rain southern England received yesterday. Unfortunately John had a case of sausauge fingers, and missed out the F in Schafernaker, leading to a strained pronunciation of Tomasz's surname.

>00:59:48

However worry not, because the legendary Moira Stewart was at hand to educate Chris, of the delights of the Weather God, and the correct surname. She called Tomasz "interesting" no less!

1:01:15

So who knows, The Schaf may very well turn up on Monday's breakfast, to explain himself. So watch this space... (88 to 91FM for UK listeners)

In the meantime, Tomasz's report from The Great British Weather, on St Elmo's Fire. Well sort of... the audio is there; but instead of the film, we have a slide-show of Portknockie and sundry relevant pictures. Half a loaf is better than no bread at all, I suppose. Enjoy!

Moray magnificence

2011-08-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

It was the last episode of the current series of The Great British Weather on Wednesday, Tomasz once again confined to a recorded report.

This time he had been to the village of Portknockie, in Moray (Scotland), to explore St Elmo's Fire. Not the 1980s film or the accompanying John Parr song you understand; but the atmospheric phenomenon, which seriously afflicted the town in 2007.

Resident Fraser Milton recalled the night when a severe electric storm formed over the town; of such a ferocity, it caused sockets to explode out of walls. The culprit for this? St Elmo's fire. It is when a thunderstorm becomes so highly charged and super-heated, that nitrous oxide in the atmosphere turns to plasma, the fourth state of matter. The plasma form of nitrous oxide becomes ionised and manifests itself in blue streaks, wreaking havoc upon anything electrical.

This phenomenon can readily, but safely, observed within a plasma ball. One of those globes, with streaks of plasma emanating from the power source in the centre. If you run your hands over the surface of the globe, the plasma 'follows' your hands' movements. If you're a pilot you may see St Elmo's fire up in the clouds, from the comfort of your cockpit.

I'm told by my spies that the BBC were happy with the show; the viewing figures were decent (mostly down to The Schaf I'd say!) and another series could be planned for the winter. I would hope Carol Kirkwood would do it on her own though, she has the presence and knowledge to it-- plus no more Larry Lamb larking with lame chromakey (nothing against the man himself by the way, but what were you thinking Larry?)http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

Nor do I have anything against Chris Hollins and Alexander Armstrong personally; they just seemed to superfluous and stilted on this show, especially when they are not weather experts. The former is better suited to serious serious journalism, the latter to comedy acting and gameshows-- that's what they are respectively good at after all! That's my tuppence-worth anyway.

For UK, Man and Channel Islands folks:
39:05 onwards

Finally best of luck to Tomasz for his bike-ride from London to Brighton this weekend. Fingers and other phalanges crossed.

Happy holidays, wherever you may be going....

A fishy tale

2011-07-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

Another episode of The Great British Weather yesterday evening, Tomasz was soley {i} confined to a pre-recorded slot.

This edition saw Tomasz finding Nemo... in East Ham. There have been 600 recorded incidents of rainstorms involving fish in the UK-- and I'm not codding you {iv}. In 1998, there was even an occurence of frogs raining from the sky. "Shirley you can't be serious", I hear you cry. Yes I am serious, and don't call me Shirley {ii}

Tomasz's voyage of discovery took him to East Ham, where in 1984 a garden was littered with fish after a rainstorm. The householder was convinced these fish had fallen from the sky; the explanation was that a fishmonger had dumped surplus stock into his garden (it happens). That was until the householder found fish in his gutter!

So a fish-curator at the National History Museum {iii}, inspected the fish carcasses-- and found that they were a common species in the Thames. The theory was a heavy storm could've caused a small waterspout; these create vortices of ~200mph, capable of sucking up anything three feet below the water's surface. These fish would've been transported via air-currents for a few miles, before being deposited.

Last episode of TGBW, let's hope he makes a live appearance, preferably in shorts! The latest episode, for those in the UK and Crown Dependencies:
Tomasz appears 15m 35s in

In other news, Tomasz is supporting a London to Cape Town bike-ride, although it's unclear if he will participate. Also there's another London to Brighton ride too

{i} Yes, another fish joke
{ii} RIP Leslie Neilsen. That line gets me every time
{iii} Such a job does exist!
{iv} All these fish jokes are giving me a haddock

A-moooo-sing

2011-07-21T12:31:00.000-07:00

Some bad news and some good news regarding The Great British Weather last night. The bad news is that Tomasz was confined only to a recorded part of the show; a bizarre choice given his charisma, popularity and expertise-- and how warmly viewers have responded to his segments in the show.

The good news is that his report was up to his usual entertaining, informative and well-humoured standard. The Schaf was sent to near Abergavenny in Monmouthshire, to discover whether cows really can predict forthcoming rain.

According to folklore of yore, a herd of cows lying down in a field is portent of rain. His Loveliness liased with two charming dairy farmers Jim and Kate Bevan, who let Tomasz get his equipment {i} out in one their fields full of bovine friend. So is this theory right, or a load of bull proverbial?

Tomasz set his up weather-station; a LCD read-out of air-pressure, wind-speed and temperature, plus his very own lovely eyes cast skyward. A baleful cloud came towards the field, but the cows remained upright and ambulant. Surely enough it did *not* rain.

Later the cows decided to walk under some trees, and lied down. Tomasz didn't sense a rain-shower coming, nor did his equipment-- but lo a minute-long shower came! Tomasz mused that nature can sense something, but it's a question of how reliable it is; this prompted Kate to quip that the same could be said for weathermen, causing Tomasz to laugh heartily.

There are theories as to how cows can sense the change in weather, they have some kind of sensor for air-pressure change or wind-speed; it is easier for their digestive-tracts to sit down and chew the cud while it rains.

It's a shame Tomasz is not used more on the live sections of the show, but I understand he has pre-recorded segments for the next few episodes.

For those living in the British Islands, here's the i-player link, fast-foward to 12:40, to see Tomasz's slot. So to speak.

{i} Weather equipment, before you start sniggering

Cornwall cameo

2011-07-13T12:46:00.001-07:00

After months of absence, Tomasz finally returned to our screens on The Great British Weather, as reporter. Joy unconfined, albeit a relatively brief joy.

He appeared around 34 minutes into the programme, firstly in the form of a report. We saw a sun-dappled Tomasz strolling across the North Pennines moors, musing upon that old weather adage: "Red sky at night, shepherd's delight; red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning" {i}.

He spoke to Cumbrian shepherdess Rachel Marston, who explained the weather is important to her, so she knows when to bring the sheep in (and other such things). She also stated that the theory "is more or less true". Indeed there is a basis in this; red skies occur when the sun is at a low angle, making the light refract red light. If there is clear skies in the west (most of British weather comes from the west), then there will rich red sunsets.

However "more or less" is not good enough for The Schaf, so he enlist Rachel's two daughters to keep a check on the theory. Rachel and daughters turned up at TGBW's live location of St Ives in Cornwall, along with His Loveliness. The results pretty much backed up the theory; "we don't need Tomasz", joked Rachel. Not to worry Tomasz, because we were treated to nice close-ups of you and you looked a treat in shorts.

Despite Tomasz's brief appearance on the show, there is more online, and you don't even need to press your red button. It appears Tomasz's strand in the show, is to explain whether weather folklore is true or not:
Drink me

Also two videos from the Blue Peter garden, featuring The Schaf giving us some practical advice-- not just how to look good in jeans and a navy t-shirt:

An i-player link for tonight's programme as yet to materialise, at the time of typing... but maybe a kind soul or two will have recorded it on that there Youtube. Pretty please. Maybe there will be screen-grabs too. So I may well update this tomorrow...

Meanwhile a shot of the set at St Ives.

Tomasz with Michael Fish, the BBC's longest-serving weather forecaster. Tomasz explains: If you watched last night's show, you will have found out that Michael gets whacked on the head with an umbrella each time he gets his forecast wrong! I'm hoping his prediction for next week's show is wrong!! ;) LOL............I'd do it gently of course! ;)

Finally Tomasz's take on the forthcoming St Swithin's Day:
There is no evidence to back it up, but it's not as silly as you might think. There is scientific evidence to suggest that if the summer continues to be unsettled (frequent spells of rain and only short periods of warmth+sun) beyond "the middle of summer" (ie now-ish), our chances of getting better weather vanishes. Basically, the Jet Stream "get's stuck in a rut" and is unlikely to shift. So, perhaps the bad weather in the coming days is, in fact, an ominous sign!

{i} Red sky in the afternoon, shepherd's house on fire. Alright, I made that bit up

It'll be alright on the night

2011-07-12T11:48:00.001-07:00

The Schaf is making his last-minute prep for the first episode of The Great British Weather tomorrow. That is BBC1 19:30 for those in the British Islands; although I have no doubt you have it indelibly etched into you diaries!

Tomasz has kindly uploaded a couple of sneaky-preview {i} pictures onto Facebook and Twitter. Firstly, Tomasz doing his John Craven tribute, with the bright-red waterproof coat {ii}...

And here's Tomasz in more chique wear, lookingly effortlessly attractive...

I'm sure Tomasz will wow everyone with these new programmes, and show us all what we've been missing.

Meanwhile, if you fancy a wry chuckle, one of Quentin Letts's dispatches. Mr Letts is a columnist for the Daily Mail: So you may expect him to write of matters of grave national importance, political machinations, corruption in public life and so on. So what did he get indignant about last week? He whinges:"Windbags! Why can't TV weathermen cut out their self-indulgent prattle", without checking his mirror first.

Firstly Mr Letts shoots himself in the foot, by falling into the trap of prattle himself: "Forecasters could not appear superior boffins. They had to be popularised, made one with the lowest common denominator". He makes the all-too-frequent error of thinking the lowest common denominator is a bad thing. See here

Inevitably he mentions The Schaf: "Now we have the likes of Tomasz Schafernaker, posing topless in a gay magazine in his spare time". So what if he did, what's it got to do with his abilities as broadcast meteorlogist? This leaving aside the fact that Tomasz left the of BBC weather forecasts months ago, so Mr Letts is a little off the mark with "now".

Still he can always pick on the undeserving Chris Fawkes, who disgraces himself by having interests outside of work, mostly... wait for it... sports. Apparently parachuting is particularly objectionable; Mr Letts then clamours "nurse" {iv} and wishes to cut Chris's parachute strings. I think the nurse needs to visit Mr Letts first, if the anodyne Chris Fawkes inspires thoughts of murder in QL.

Then there's the unfortunate Alex Deakin who is a "pingy and zingy keep-fit type". What do these forecasters think they are doing, looking after themselves, instead of breathing and living meteorology. It's enough to make you burn you Licence Fee isn't it, and smash your telly up (BBC can ruddy well pay for the bill too).

Even worse Deaks has personality, a jovial one at that; poor Liam "dreadful windbag" Dutton was equally chastised by right-minded Feedback {iii} listeners, for much the same reason. Mr Letts goes one better, and then castigates weather presenters for ditching received pronunciation: "[It] has been replaced by a wittering Babel of regional accents, jagged Northern vowels, Fenland dipthongs, Estuarial glottal stops". It's not like the BBC should reflect the fact that it broadcasts to those outside the M25, or that only 5% of the British populace speak like Brian Sewell or Emma Thompson

Then of course chez Daily Wail, conformist austerity is the order of the day; cheeriness and individuality is to be condemned. Otherwise it may cause house-prices to collapse, which will make paedophiles give your lager-lout kids cancer. Or something.

{i} Antoin de Caune. He's gone quiet, hasn't he?
{ii} Rumour is, John is surgically attached to it.
{iii} A programme on Radio 4, where morally-upstanding radio listeners impart their views on BBC broadcasts, by impersonate Mrs Tembe from Doctors.
{iv} I feel Barry Cryer cringe from here

Radio Times

2011-07-05T11:11:00.000-07:00

The lastest edition of Radio Times, features a large feature about the Great British Weather programme, airing next week. BBC weather forecasters past and present appear, including The Schaf.

Tomasz pictured with Carol "Schmirkwood" Kirkwood, in some cute shots. So impressive is His Loveliness, he appears inside the front cover too!

The magazine is also worth buying, because there are fun interviews and photoshoots with other forecasters; such as Alex Deakin {i}, Laura Tobin, John Kettley, Bill Giles and Michael Fish and others. The Radio Times edition in question, is out today.

Meanwhile, Tomasz has been having fun in the Blue Peter garden...

{i} In shorts, on a deckchair, for all you Deaks fans out there.

An a-vest-ing sight

2011-07-02T10:58:00.000-07:00

A couple of small pieces of news...

Firstly the first episode of The Great British Weather is on BBC1; 13th July, early/mid evening. I'm sure you'll do his His Loveliness proud, and tune in.

Secondly Tomasz has now completed his photo gallery. Some superb photos thereon; but I got stuck on this one, for some reason.

The weather is set to be fine over most of the UK, mostly clear skies and temperatures of ~20C. I'm heading off for a walk up Cadair Berwyn tomorrow, to catch some of the scorching Powys sunshine. I won't wear a vest though, because I'd look like Mr Muscle {i}

Hope you have a great weekend, whatever you're doing.

{i} Other brands of sink-unblockers available.

Avocado adversity

2011-06-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

As The Schaf himself says, a strange post on Facebook from him today...

Not weather related...and somewhat of an unusual post for me but:
Has anyone noticed lately that something is wrong with avocados? They don't taste like avocados used to and, they go off within 5 minutes of buying them. I think someone's been messing with them.

I would like to find out what's going on with our avos so let's form an Avocado Army and get to the bottom of this. We demand an explanation, we demand justice! Lets raise our humble spoon to the once deliciously creamy avocado and fight 'til guacamole's kingdom come my green warriors!

Oof, all very John Shuttleworth. Up there with cardboard tray disappearing from Bounty bars. So answers on a postcard... well a post on his Fbk wall anyway. I always thought Tomasz was more of a cumquat or cucumber man myself.

Brighton or bust

2011-06-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

Some unfortunate news regarding Tomasz's charity bike ride to Brighton. He had tackled the dreaded Ditchling Beacon, was descending into Brighton just three miles from the end-- and disaster struck. He came off his bike, but mercifully lived to tell the tale. The Schaf tweeted:

Nearly crashed into car with couple feet to spare. Two flat tyres and a dodgy back wheel later.Phew. Only few cuts... was aiming for 3h25min. For the record,not put off by cycling!No pain no game ;). Got to laugh.Just glad a couple of plastic cones saved...dont ask how, they just did

I'm reliably informed that he escaped with 'just' bruises and cuts, thankfully avoided being pancaked by a car. Oh well, there's always next year Tomasz, chin up and don't pick at the scabs on it. Recover soon [thumbs up]

Tomasz's new website

2011-06-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

As you may have gathered from the imaginative post title, Tomasz has a new website-- very informative and well-constructed it is too!

The main news is that The Schaf will be featuring in a new programme examining the British obession with the weather-- it will be called The Great British Weather. The programme is to be fronted by presenter/actor Alexander Armstrong{i}, Carol Kirkwood (BBC Weather) and Chris Hollins (of BBC Breakfast and Watchdog fame).

Veteran forecasters Bill Giles, Michael Fish and John Kettley will also be making appearance-- plus the main man himself. So what will Tomasz's contribution be? He will join the TGBW team across the country; as they visit Cornwall, the Lake District and Greenwich (London) on its tour with a live and local audience at each destination. No doubt Tomasz will swamped by his adoring fans at these live events, he'll need a bigger entourage than Lady Gaga.

I also note from Twitter, that Tomasz has done a photoshoot with Carol Kirkwood for Radio Times-- I'm sure we all look foward to reading that edition of the magazine.

There are some other gems within the website, other than heart-stopping photographs of His Loveliness? I'm heartened to see that Tomasz doing the London to Brighton bike-ride charity {ii} again this year, for The British Heart Foundation. I'm not aware of any Just Giving page (or equivalent) just yet, I shall inform you, when one is created.

Also Tomasz has officially confirmed his departure from the Met Office, as of the end of March this year. He comments:

I’ve had a fantastic time working for the BBC on behalf of the Met Office and feel that I’ve been shown amazing support during my 10 years’ service. Their continued support contributed to my being presented with the TRIC Weather Presenter Of The Year award, an award which I was very proud to receive.

At this time I have many plans in development which will see me remaining within the world of weather as well as me exploring new avenues. I’m very excited about what the future holds but remain very grateful to the Met Office for my time in an organisation which is respected throughout the world, and which I’m only too happy to remain an ambassador for.

Just to prove Tomasz can laugh at himself (contrary to what some bilious Daily Maul readers, and bitches on certain Internet forums, may think), he has featured his infamous salute to erstwhile bromance-buddy Simon McCoy. Quoth The Schaf:

Those who know me, often remember me for my colourful on-air bloopers and the subsequent Youtube profile. The ‘finger incident’ generated over 5mln hits on Youtube (see media section) but, I’d still like to think I’m generally regarded as a good forecaster!

Well I for one think you are a good forecaster, Tomasz. The fact you have a bit of personality, you are an indivudal, not a 'polictical correct' {iii} drone nor anodyne autocutie, is one of many reason why I respect you (I'm sure many would agree). As for your humourless detractors, their cavilling remarks say more about them, than they do about you. There's a lot to be jealous of!

Finally if you have any enquiries, there is the option of e-mailing Tomasz's agent, Tim Reed.
tim@timreedmanagement.com

Especially professional enquiries. I reckon it's time we revived Strange But True, with Tomasz at the helm-- c'mon telly producers-- make it happen. I'm sure if the Internet's populace can revive Wispa and get Rage Against The Machine to Christmas #1, I'm sure we can make this happen to Tomasz. Yes.

Indeed Tomasz's website is so darn good, I feel my blog and I are becoming obsolescent [self-aware chortle]

I don't even know what Tomasz is doing with his left hand here^.

{i} Pimm's o'clock chaps!
{ii} Alright then "charidee"
{iii} For want of a better term

A beacon of Brecon

2011-06-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

An update from His Loveliness on Facebook:
Wish [I] could give all the details for this new series but the 'big bosses' say I need to wait for a 'go ahead'. Nature and weather is the focal point. Excited about it as it's the first of a number of projects.

He has been been discovering "dodgy weather" in the Brecon Beacons, and indeed it did piddle it down in Powys today. A nice photo of Tomasz showing off his anemometer, as well a jawline as stunning and defined as Pen-y-Fan itself:

There was also a picture of a unimpressed-looking cow he uploaded, definitely not as endearing as Tomasz!

Croydon facelift

2011-06-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Some intriguing Tweets from His Loveliness today, been filming in a certain borough of Greater London it appears:

[I'm] having the most hilarious(!!!) day interviewing interesting/bizarre characters in the street in Croydon. I can't stop laughing. Someone help. Who says Croydon is uninteresting lol...had a whale of a time lol. [Then I] was in east London, ended up with the crew at the Natural History... what an unusual day of filming I had around London today; from a paranormal expert to a 'fish professor' lol. Off to Wales tomorrow.

It's no wonder Kate Moss turned out the way she did. And a fish professor eh? Who says fish aren't intelligent. So any Croydonites {i} spot Tomasz out and about-- or even spoke to the good man himself? And I wonder which part of Wales he is going to?

I hope the weekend's weather was kind to you. I headed up into the Cheviot Hills and Kielder, lovely fresh and cool up there, beautiful part of the world. Despite what sundry internet bitches say, Tomasz can laugh at himself. His considered opinion of last night's weather? "What a muddy sh*te this evening's weather has been. Flamin nora! Or wet nora".

Let's hope that The Schaf filming continues to be fun, and I cannot wait to see the end product. Starting a new job can often me nerve-wracking...

{i} Or whatever the correct demonym for a Croydon resident is.

Bliss

2011-06-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

The title is how Tomasz describes today's weather. Although warm weather is not my bag, there was 47% humidity today, so at least a fresh breeze; however photograph of Tomasz, more than compensated.

As one Tweeter had it, "check out those guns"... yes always nice to see *those* biceps {i} and *that* cheeky smile. The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice that in Tomasz's shades, he has his legs out for us as well. Bliss indeed.

So you don't think I'm completely shallow, I do admire The Schaf's VJ mastery: Tomasz opened Youtube channel a short while ago, which can be found here: http://www.youtube.com/user/tomaszschafernaker

A couple of examples of his work, with contrasting weather conditions. Hail...

And today's sunny weather. No doubt if Brian Sewell watched, he'd say it's a conceptual piece about the nobility of a bee...

I hope you all have a good weekend, whatever you do with it.

{i} Forearms are pretty darn hot too, and I'm not talking just temperature.

PS:
On a sad note, I'm sorry to report the sudden passing away of Andrew Reeves last night, who had set up the Bring Back Tomasz Schafernaker page on Facebook. My thoughts go out to his family and friends.

Carry on camping

2011-05-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

The Schaf is on the prowl at present, filming a new television series: A long trip up to the north of the UK awaits. Off to explore the great outdoors and do some filming for a new telly show coming soon. Will keep you posted via Twitter.

It appears his travels have taken him to Cumbria; thinking along meteorlogical lines, Cumbria is England's wettest place {iii}, so that perhaps explains Tomasz's interest in the place. Could also explain why he is putting up a tent {i}...

That looks like the North Pennines to me: The Cumbrian side of the Pennines is infamous for Britain's only named wind, the Helm Wind. It's a north-easterly wind which blows down the south-west slope of the Cross Fell {ii} escarpment. The Helm Wind is the only named wind in the British Isles: It reputedly takes its name from the cap of cloud which forms above Cross Fell, known as the Helm Bar.

The Helm Wind is a local example of the strong foehn winds that can blow down-slope in the lee of mountain barriers (notably in The Alps) Research into the wind was carried out by a glider-pilot called Gordon Manley in the 1930s. He interpreted the phenomenon in hydrodynamic terms as a "standing wave" and "rotor"-- a model confirmed in 1939 by glider flights. The Helm amplifies winds from the north-east, and can be extremely destructive in the nearby Vale of Eden. Will Tomasz experience this phenomenon?

So if you are dropping by the Hartside Top Cafe in the next day or two, you may see The Schaf in there supping on cuppa and chomping on a cream horn.

{i} Not a euphemism
{ii} Cross Fell is the highest peak of the Pennines, near Penrith.
{iii} Officially Borrowdale. Well according to John Craven, it is.

Douze points

2011-05-16T11:23:00.000-07:00

So Eurovision is over for another year, congratulations to Azerbaijan {i}. The UK's middling entry got a middling position in the results. Everyone's favourite bequiffed Irish singing duo, Jedward {ii}, confounded many expectations by not winning. Their performance screamed EV-- plus their noterity is widespsread. Then again Dustin The Turkey is another infamous Irish cultural export, and noterity didn't work then.

Anyway what do I know, with my prehensile drivel? {iii}. For there is a new Eurovision guru in town. Forget memories of Sir Terrence and his tipsy tittle-tattle; or the nasal narration of Graham Norton, or even the gentle purr of Ken "one year oot" Bruce on Radio 2.

For we have The Schaf, and his Eurovision tweets. His comment on EV in general? "The excitement is truly euphoric! My head is literally in the Stratosphere. LOL ;)". He's taller than he looks.

If you missed EV, here's Tomasz's verdict thereon {iv}. A disclaimer from the man himself first though: "I'm sure I'll upset a few with rubbish commentary later on ;) LOL". Certainly some familiar phraseology hidden herein (sic, severally)...

> My fave in no particular order: Hungary, Azerbaijan, Russia...and of course UK and Poland (out).
> Yes, my Polish countrymen (ladies) didn't quite sing to tune the other night. Ah well.
> Well I guess Austria is OK
> Like Netherlands, catchy
> Slovakian barbie dolls...it's ok.
> Moldova! LOLOL. Moldova singers reminder me of mental Smurfs.
> Sweden, Thumbs down from me.
> Cyprus. Not for me.
> Well Bulgaria ain't terrible, average I'd say
> Only liked the first 5 seconds of Macedonia!
> Dana! This will be good! Lol Israel...Ding Dong say no more LOL. Good! {iv}
> I've been to Slovenia. Wonderful country.
> there's a lot of legs going on in this Eurovision. Starting with Poland the other day...
> Romania classic lol. It's ok. He got his pants from Jack Black the pumpkin man or was it Beetlejuice!
> Is just me who isn't that keen on Estonia's entry. I see the London Eye behind!
> Latvia. I'm not singing along.
> What song does the Danish entry remind me of? WHAT THE...lol!
> Flamin heck!! #Jedward #eurovision LOL
> Finland: is it just me, or is it plain boring? Its just "ah thats nice" LOL. Thumbs down from me.
> BosniaH: not for me. Thank you LOL. Nice fireworks.
> Jedward Hair Denmark i like.
> Lithuania: its all just Fog Fog Fog. She's only 'just' in that dress LOL
> Hungary: like a storm. Blew me away. LOL ...but, why wasnt there more energy on the stage! No win me thinks.
> Jedward: BBQ SUMMER
> Sweden: WHAT A WASHOUT. like uk Weather.
> Estonia: DRIZZLE...or dribble.
> Greece: A bit unsettled LOL (cold front, warm front?...make ur mind up)
> FRANCE: ...in fact his hair looks like a birds nest? ;) Weather looks nice behind...shame about his hair LOL
> Russia: good job they got the letters the right way round.. electrifying lol
> GEORGIA: oh gawd. It's like forecasting snow...a NIGHTMARE.
> SERBIA: it's all isobars!! LOL. Multi colour!
> UKRAINE: she'll take off into the stratosphere with those shoulderpads.
> SPAIN: like a breeze. Quite liked it.
> ICELAND: what a load of frozen balls! LOL Remind me not to shop in iceland LOL.
> SLOVENIA entry: lotsa warm fronts. Lost count.
> AUSTRIA: if it's not her head in the clouds it's certainly her legs lol..,where do They stop LOL
> ROMANIA entry: its like our like few summers in the UK...r
14 May
> GERMANY entry: off to nowheresville
> Moldova: MUDDY SHITE (sorry)
> AZERBAI'BOTTLE'OF'JAM: warm and sunny, thumbs up ;)
> UK: another BBQ SUMMER...im feeling.
> Switzerland Background: TVam weather? Or maybe 'Sunrise' on SKY? LOL
> ITALIANO: pianful...just like my forecasts that have gone wrong.
> AZERBAI'BOTTLE'OF'JAM: warm and sunny, thumbs up ;)
> I just Lost £10.Finger up to that!! *grunt*

I like the way Tomasz's updates got cheekier as the evening wore on, perhaps Tomasz was following Terry's Wogan's tradition, and having a little party. But then again The Schaf is down with the kids.

Of course there alternative ways of enjoying EV, as Mr Wogan explains, fast-foward to 2:10...

But back to Tomasz, he has a message for his Twitter followers: "Raising a toast to my 6000 followers...many thanks everyone! :)"

PS: Best of luck to Dan Corbett, who is leaving the BBC, and indeed the country! Off to forecast in New Zealand. I believe his last broadcast was on Five Live this morning. A great forecaster, who will be missed from our airwaves. Goodbye, for now...

{i} Clearly EV has the power to accelerate continental drift eastward. I expect Bangladesh to win next year
{ii} I'd miffed, I were Jonathan Grime-- his brother hogs all but one letter of their pormateau name
{iii} "The square root of nothing", you all say in unison
{iv} Hire him *now* as an EV commentator, Beeb! Well obviously not right now, the competition won't be around for another year.

Carping on

2011-05-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Forget the Clegglett {v}, Alex Salmond {i}, slow vote-counts in 'Norn Iron' and the Osama conspiracies {ii}, there are more pressing things in the world.

Tomasz has now posted a nice video on his Youtube channel of a recent visit to London Aquarium.

Once you get past the shark, it's quite a relaxing video. You can almost meditate to it, and breathe out your lower chakra. As a few Facebookers and Twitterers have suggested, The Deep in East Yorkshire is a great place to visit, reputedly the world's only subaquarium

It appears that the BBC's summer weather show will be airing in July, I suspect His Loveliness may well appear in it. I hope he does: Not only to put straight the cynics {iii} who think the BBC wanted shut of The Schaf; but I think it would also be a nice sign to the Met Office, who snubbed Tomasz.

Doubtless it's not just the Beeb who are interested in him either. I bet he's more special offers than the Co-op {iv}

Finally, my linguistic prowess does not extend to Spanish (or is the following Portuguese?), so if any Iberian readers or those with knowledge or said languages, could decipher the following comment left hereon.

Desde luego este chico está para salir como quiera, con ese torso y esos pectorales, es una pena tenerlo en la TV, preferiría tenerlo en la cama.

I do have some knowledge of Latin, so I'm under the impression the above is a benign comment. Hmm.

Personally I've always found Tomasz electrifying. Adios amigos

{i} As Frankie Boyle said: "Least Salmond looks like a proper Scot; in that he has the cholestrol level of a fried egg, and his heart only beats twice an hour". Nice.

{ii} I won't believe it, until the video is shown-- preferably on You've Bin Framed. It would also show Osama's burial at sea-- preceded with Osma being strecthered off a Norwegian cruise-liner. Unless of course he isn't dead, and Donald Trump has him at Guantanemo Bay, with Osama's testicles wired to a car-battery; that's to teach him a lesson, they haven't started questioning him yet. Or he's working at a chippy with Elvis and Lord Lucan somewhere in Rochdale.

{iii} Or Daily Maul and Metro types, as they are otherwise known.
{iv} Other supermarkets available
{v} David Cameron is refusing to release photographs, to confirm that Nick Clegg is dead.

Moody mother nature

2011-04-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

Easter greetings, Schaffanatics. A treat more welcome and tastier than my large Cadbury's {i} chocolate egg, is an update from Tomasz.

On that there Facebook, he informs that his website is to be updated and revamped. Fingers crossed that he reveals news of his next ventures; I should imagine some will be forthcoming, now Tomasz has parted company with the Met Office. For those heliophiles out there, His Loveliness has this message:

I'm amazed with this April hot spell. We are *well* on track for a record warm month. Temps keep climbing, maybe 28C for some this weekend. I sure hope May is nice! Just shows how moody mother nature is; we seem to be swinging from mega-cold to mega-hot in a space in a season. Although he informs of a smog warning over the coming days.

I'll be heading out into the fresh air of Lancashire, for a tour around the Forest of Bowland and Pendle Hill. I'm told the locals of Luhancashurrr have stopped burning witches on the summit of the latter.

I hope you all have a great Easter, whatever you're doing. For those of us missing His Loveliness on television, a delve into the archives courtesy of Terratec...

{i} Other brands of chocolate available. Unless Cadbury's were to send me lots of free chocolate, then I would mention the brand in every blog post!

Springing to life!

2011-03-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

The spring equinox is almost upon us; fittingly a glorious work of nature has come of out of hibernation, I speak of Tomasz of course.

A missive from the great man himself, via Facebook:

Hi everyone! It's certainly been a while. A lot has been happening with me lately and I'm looking forward to exciting new projects. I'll let you know the details very soon! In the meantime, Spring is just around the corner!
Tomasz ;)

So have faith Schaffanatics, for a new dawn approaches; projects with our Tomasz involved, are inherently exciting. A case of watch this space, as Brian Cox might say.

In the meantime, His Loveliness leaves us with a stimulating serene spring scene.

Loopy

2011-01-27T12:10:00.000-08:00

Many thanks to the kind contributor who sent me the linked for to this website. {vi}

So I'm Tomasz's "Barry George", plus "Jesus Christ {i}, some of those posts are stalker-esque". Oh dear... least they have given me a good laugh. I can only imagine have led sheltered lives or just have no sense of perspective-- because they clearly have no idea what *real* stalkers are like. I have the 'honour' of dealing with stalkers on a professional basis, and their activities are far more distressing and sinister than this harmless and benevolent blog.

For those benighted Moopy users' information I don't hang around Tomasz's house, steal his underwear, follow him around, grope him, constantly send him flowers or plan to attack him. And ye gods, I don't even have a "Schaf t-shirt"-- I can only apologise to Schaffans for that oversight.

The stuff I put on here about Tomasz, has been in the public domain: Be it Twitter, Facebook, his own website or BBC television/radio, some stalker am I! Hardly rummaging through his bins. I don't even know where he lives, and I respect his privacy. I'll concede I very much like him on multiple levels; but I know Tomasz is waaay out of my league, and wouldn't be interested in me 'in that sense'. So I'm not writing this, in some delusional ploy to get into his pants-- I'd be at the back of a very long queue!

Actually I started this blog over a year ago, after much suggestion from fans of Tomasz online, and fans that I knew (it hadn't occured to me, to do one previously): A way of gathering all the clips (thanks Mike and Dom), articles and Tomasz social-media musings into one place-- to wit a fan-club. Given that his Facebook page has garnered well over 6000 followers, Tomasz has a TRIC under his belt and this page gets hundreds of visitors *a day*, I like to think site is justified. So to denigrate me, is to denigrate all his fans and wonderful readers who like this site.

Of course the irony of some of those comments from Moopy-loopies, is they don't realise Tomasz is "very flattered" by my blog-- he's even kindly emailed me to say so. He didn't have to do that (no I didn't co-erce him either). I've also had people close to Tomasz emailing me, thanking me for the support (I also know from Statcounter, that a number of people from the BBC read this site). Tomasz and these other people know they are quite welcome to email if there is issue with anything I post-- as yet they haven't-- I intend for it to stay that way.

Back to Mopy, I've been described as "really being a nutcase"-- praise indeed-- projection I thnk they call it. Those who aren't conversant in droll humour or (post-modern) irony {iv}, would likely to think of me as barmy. Then again contributors there didn't 'get' the obvious irony deployed by Tomasz, regarding the Petalgate incident; so the level of self-parody of parody of a self-parody I employ, will pass them by. And they call me humourless and pretentious... anyone would think I'm lampooning their pomposity or something. Then again they would consider any pretentious, who uses words over three syllables.

Indeed if Tomasz's humour passes over their heads, they will indeed never appreciate "the Schafernaker-love one bit". Perhaps they are as shallow as a birdbath, or perhaps they are need in psychiatric assistance (are they as obnoxious and spiteful in real life, or are they just that way via cowardly online alter-egos?) Some posts thereon are suggestive of the latter...

"He's a prick, he should be struck by lightning", in fact {v}. Also poor Alex Deakin, is "one creepy bastard" (a case of projection possibly). He's jolly and affable, so it makes sense that the Moopy-loopies would object to him. Another irony is that these snipers on Moopy (or Youtube and sundry Internet sites) never seem to realise that their acrid comments {i} say more about them, than their intended target. In other words, what is the purpose of their shrill comments?

Do they have low self-esteem issues, so they have to make themselves feel good by slagging off somebody popular {iii}? Are they so jealous or threatened by Tomasz, thus they have to attack him to assuage those feelings? Easy to see how someone can be jealous of Tomasz; since he's very talented, intelligent, well-liked and handsome. Or perhaps they secretly fancy him, and can't hack it.

Or it could they are deeply unhappy, self-hating and cynical people full-stop; they have the anonymous comfort of the Internet to vent their spleen on everything on anyone. There are far worse people in the world to get angry at than The Schaf-- the haters out there should get some perspective. And learn how to use the off-button on their remotes, while they are at it.

Speaking of perspective, I'm not "going to do anything rash" about The Schaf's departure from BBC Weather. I haven't topped myself, surprising I know! Thankfully not all of us see the world through jaded eyes, and Tomasz is the sort of positive person to see the termniation of his Met Office on-screen role, as a fresh start. I have little doubt Tomasz will be back on our airwaves before too long, and I'm confident that 2011 will be the dawn of a whole array of exciting things for him.

As soon as anything is officially confirmed for Tomasz's future, I shall be all too pleased to impart that information, to my marvellous massive or Schaffans (whose loyalty to the man himself, is second-to-none) here.

PS: Many THANKS for the shouting-at-traffic RESPONSES from a couple of people at Moopy, clearly my POST touched a nerve, nay struck a chord; WONDERFULLY proved my point (and have not got the irony), QED the above. After all why read, and repeatedly comment about, a blog on somebody they dislike? That's a bit stalker-esque by their standard (as is recommending a Huw Edwards blog, ye gods!) Personally I think the Dan Corbett one is far better.

Although the point on being jealous was about being envious of Tomasz, and not of my contacts and success; perhaps a Freudian slip on their part, unless their level of comprehension is on par with their idea of "love" (well I did use subtle humour, rationality and correct orthography in my post, without being shrill).

With the above paragraph in mind, I would point out that the comments above are not aimed Moopy as a whole. Just those users who are not embued with self-awareness, and do not recognise their peevish comments insult themselves far more than me, my readers or Tomasz.

{i} He died for all our sins.
{ii} Often semi-literate and replete WITH randomly capitalised WORDS. What do they stand for? Clearly not au fait with the bold function.
{iii} The more well-liked a person is, the more the denigrating the insults
{iv} Or poly-syllabic words
{v} Also a "liablity" too. Any more than his other colleagues? Amazing how a liablity attracts so many fans and wins a presitgious award.
{vi} I haven't, and don't intend to, contribute to the site. By the way

Snorkling snaps

2011-01-16T12:54:00.000-08:00

Tomasz has entertained us with a hat-trick of links on Facebook today. First a link from Nasa. Tomasz comments:
How complex is our Climate: Here, in the UK, we've just been breaking records when it comes to winter weather and *yet*, 2010 (and 2005) was overall the warmest year on record across the planet-- when all is averaged out. Seems that many places are warming but some areas are actually cooling. I know where we are!

Secondly ring inspections reveal why the Roman Empire may have fallen; nothing to do with the Bottom Inspectors in Viz, but a reference to tree-rings. Finally the lame title of today's blog-post, alludes to this National Geographic piece, about a Thai person diving down somewhere fishy and staying down a long time. There are stage-shows like that in Thailand-- so I hear.

In other news, Tomasz finds this weekend's weather grey, but "waaaarm". I thought Tomasz was from Gdansk, not South Yorkshire. Az tha bin t'Baaarnsleh lad, tha knaws? Sithee.

No news as to Tomasz's future: Given that Rob McElwee did his last onscreen performance last week, I imagine Tomasz's Met Office contract has elapsed. No news from Tomasz, is good news. To use modern parlance {i}, I hope His Loveliness is 'cool' at present.

{i} I is down widda kids, innit blud.

Wszystkiego Najlepszego

2011-01-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to Tomasz! He turns 32 today, and is looking ever more piekny with every passing year. I trust Tomasz will have an excellent birthday, no matter how he may celebrate...

Intriguingly quiet on the Tomasz front of late, no twittering or Facebook updates. He was scheduled to appear this week, in the customary lunchtime slot-- but he was supplanted by Alex Deakin and Dan Corbett {i}. I hope Tomasz hasn't been ill over the past few days, he had mentioned being "under the weather" (!) just before Christmas.

I like to be optimistic, and speculate that no news is good news: In other words he has been discreetly busy with something that will herald a nice fresh start to 2011. Remember the wise words of Eric & Ernie...

{i} Nothing wrong with the dapper Alex Deakin of course, nor Dan Corbett. The latter came out with a gem today: "And it's bye-bye to that weather front; off he goes, we don't want to see him again".

All the best for 2011

2010-12-31T09:39:00.001-08:00

Tomasz has a little message for us on Facebook:

Happy New Year 2011 to Everyone! (I shall see in the New Year in London)

I would also like to thank everyone for reading in 2011, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading it 2011. Let's hope that the coming year brings all Tomasz wishes for. And the same for everyone reading.

Odd news

2010-12-27T10:34:00.000-08:00

A 'filler' programme on the News Channel this morning, called Odd News, which looked at the various mishaps that had befallen BBC News reporters and newsreaders alike over 2010. "I'm prone to a bit of that myself", Tomasz wistfully commented-- before starting his forecast. Don't you just want to give him a big hug? Or is that just me...

Not to worry, because Tomasz had a bit of muck pumping in for us... a mucky weather front from the south-west anyway.

I like that 'frosty' tie. Thanks to Terratec for the upload.

Vlog from Gdansk

2010-12-27T03:37:00.000-08:00

I hope you enjoyed Christmas Day and Boxing Day. Tomasz is back from his visit to Gdansk, in fact he is scheduled to be working today on the News Channel (around lunchtime)

Tomasz did give us a couple of great Christmas presents, in the form of vlogs {i}:

And if you ever wanted to hear Tomasz snort or grunt, now is your chance. He's being at one with some boars, in case you were wondering...

{i} Video blogs, that is. Fancy portmenteau.

Meringue madness

2010-12-24T13:39:00.001-08:00

I'm pleased to say The Schaf has made it to Gdansk for Christmas, even colder than it is in British Islands...

Tomasz was well-placed to observe a peculiar weather phenomenon. I'll let the good man himself explain: Witnessed an "icestorm" in Gdańsk today. Hours of freezing rain mixed with clear ice chunks falling from the sky onto a thick layer of snow. The result: Everything glazed with thick ice. Looks incredible. Never seen anything like it... Up to knees in peoples gardens. Piled up 5 to 8 feet in places. It's all thick ice right now....a real ice rink, you could skate LOL!

Here are the results, looks like a meringue gone wrong!

On Twitter, Matt Taylor quipped: "That looks amazing! You can imagine the weeks of chaos that would follow if that were to happen in London". To which Tomasz replied:
"It was just mental.Guess what...everything moved slowly but,it still moved! They moaned a little,now 'who cares' LOL"

Annual horribilis

2010-12-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

First of all...
"Wesolych swiat bozego narodzenia" to Tomasz and all my readers.

There was a programme on the other night, called Comedy Annual 2010, presented by that well-known comedian Philip Schofield-- our Tomasz featured. Sadly the script let him down badly, as much as I like Schofer. Firstly he claimed the weather was too much "for an over-worked weatherman". Overworked as The Schaf may have been, it was actually a cheeky (and supposedly off-camera) response to Simon Coy's waggish words.

Then Schofer mused that Tomasz (with his middle finger), was showing us how much snow we were going to get. Except the incident happened in August; even in these days of global-warming, we don't usually get snow in the middle summer. Ah well Pip, you did the best you could. Perhaps in the futre, it would be best to leave such shows to family-friendly comics, such as Frankie Boyle.

Anyway enough of *that* incident, a message from His Lovliness:
Wanted to wish you all a good Christmas. Keep watching BBC Weather for all the latest on this crazy winter...come rain, snow, ice, hail or shine!
I, myself, will be away for the festivities. Recently, I've been somewhat under the weather so I've only been popping on the box every now and then. In the meantime there's always Twitter...Happy Holidays All!

Szczęśliwego nowego roku to all, let's hope 2011 is a little better than this year. I also hope 2011 will be a bright dawn for Tomasz.

Finally, some preparation of you have elderly relatives visiting...

Ski you later

2010-12-18T07:12:00.000-08:00

Tomasz has been on top form on the News Channel today. For his first forecast of the day, he told us that he would "ski you later". He then demonstrated with his hands, what the level of snowfall would be in London: "That's a lot to have in an hour". Well if anybody would know, it's our Tomasz...

Video to be posted

Tomasz also acknowledged that folk in the north are "sturdy" when it comes to the snow; any significant snow in London brings things to a halt, because of the high concentration of transport links (southern softies [wink]). Thankfully we have The Schaf to keep us informed-- nice choice of frosty blue tie!

Here in Notts, no snow today (and a positively balmy -1C). Quite ironic considering Sara Blizzard was doing the BBC East Midlands Today forecast last night!

Finally, Country Tracks tomorrow, watch between 11:45-12:00 for a scheduled appearance by His Loveliness! Wonder if he'll wear a nice pair of jeans for us, hmmm...

Jack Frost is back!

2010-12-16T10:58:00.000-08:00

Not the DI played by David Jason you understand, but more Arctic conditions, which could last until the New Year. After rain cleared today, a cold mass from due north swept in behind it-- temperatures my way plummeted from 7C to 0C in the space of an hour. So the rain will all become a sheet of ice, lovely.

Never mind my prehensile drivel, I'll let the good man himself explain (featuring Carrie Gracie)...

A nice close-up of Tomasz at the end of his comprehensive warning. Here's His Loveliness again, with a cartographical representation of what's ahead.

I love the fresh and crisp Arctic air; although I'm not keen on the precipation-generated ice that comes from it, as I'm sure many of you aren't-- so take care out and about. I note that Germany and parts of eastern USA are being unusually affected by Arctic air too... least we have Tomasz to warm our hearts.

Finally comiserations to the Cumonimboys on Wednesday: Tomasz's colleagues formed a team to try to beat the Eggheads (a quiz show on BBC2), but only just failed to beat them. The team comprised of: Peter Gibbs, Phil Avery, John Hammond, Simon King and Chris Fawkes. Now if Tomasz had been one on the panelists, what would have happened?

Thanks to Terratec for the uploads.

All quiet on The Schaf front

2010-12-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

Tomasz was on overnight on the BBC News Channel over this weekend, with a nice pink tie. Nothing to report though, an understandably solemn note, given the unfolding events in Stockholm. Did anybody hear him on local radio or national radio overnight? Or perhaps my readers overseas may have seen him on BBC World?

It looks to be a busy week ahead for Tomasz's next shifts. Nick Miller was on Country Tracks this lunchtime, explaining that an Arctic airflow will develop over the next few days, with maxmium temperatures around freezing by Thursday. Watch out for two feet of snow...

Update on Twitter....
Will need to buy boots good for snow...off to frigid Poland in 10 days. However, may make use of the boots even in London before then!

Let's hope it's not as cold as this..

Stone cool

2010-12-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

An amusing pun on News At One yesterday: A backdrop of Stonehenge, Tomasz commenting that the weather over the next few days won't be "stone cold", followed by a cute chuckle. At the end of the forecast, Simon McCoy (who else!) asked Tomasz what it would be like on December 25th! Tomasz gave a non-comittal cackle, commenting that he couldn't make promises about such things (at least his far ahead).

At 10:56, Presenter Name was introducing the forecast again-- but how could we forget Tomasz's wonderful name? The lovely matching blue shirt and tie combo was more eye-catching anyway:

If I were waiting in a bus-shelter with Tomasz, I would get shivers down the spine! Thanks to Terratec for the upload.

A blue-lit land

2010-12-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

A quiter day on The Schaf front: Partly because of today's Prime Minister's Questions, and the attendant student protests taking up much airtime on the News Channel. Least we still got his News At One slot: He informed us that there's a brief break from the freezing weather, as temperatures will climb up to around 7C by day (albeit frosty at night); however the colder weather will be back to chill us next week-- more snow too!

Thankfully we have Tomasz to reassure us. I'm mindful that Tomasz's Met Office contract expires (next month according to reports), I'm just hoping that the BBC realise what a talented and popular asset he is to the corporation; rescue him from a non-screen role, in which he would be wasted (in my view).

Tomasz is so multi-talented, creative and intelligent-- his potential is massive! Also as a punter, I can see he has such great rapport with other presenters. I just hope that BBC bigwigs may be able to create a bright and fulfilling 2011 for him.

I'm sure Tomasz will give it his all, what ever happens. Besides, BBC training has the potential to be so much fun, if Sir Terry's anecdote has anything to go by, confer 1:07:47

Teeth-shattering

2010-12-08T05:45:00.000-08:00

Tomasz had another couple of his adorable moments today. In introducing the weather on News At One today, he tried to state the conditions would be "teeth-chattering": Except it came out as something resembling my attempts at trying to speak Polish.

"It always happens, when I try to be clever", said Tomasz. We always appreciate the effort Tomasz! Jon Sopel wryly observed that they'd had enough troublesome spoonerisms on the BBC that week, although Mr Sopel fittingly fluffed saying "spoonerism". Later Tomasz talked at 2pm, about a "frosty tart", bless.

A littany of lapusus linguae lapping over the legions of the BBC this week. Well it is Christmas party season I suppose. And whoever wrote today's episode of Doctors has either been drinking too much wine, or is an unhinged genius!

Thanks to Terratec for his upload

Dropping bombs

2010-12-06T12:10:00.000-08:00

The Schaf was back from his sub-Arctic adventure, it appears his tongue hasn't thawed out-- or he's been taking diction lessons from James Naughtie (who called Jeremy Hunt something else today!). If you listen carefully, as I'm sure some bored Metro/Daily Wail scribe will have done, Tomasz almost dropped a verbal bomb-- but thankfully averted the giggles. Not as bad as referring to snowfall in terms of just centimetres though, when people 'on the street' talk in terms of inches; although I suppose being stuck in four inches of snow sounds less 'tragic' than 10cm.

A lovely frost-themed tie and hair waiting to be ruffled...

Sadly Media Monkey at the Guardian has been stirring, with this delightful posting. Anyone would think Media Monkey was jealous of Tomasz's popularity, or something. Does MM not realise that he may have been sent out on this special report, because the BBC think highly of him and people would interested in seeing him there (perhaps a trial for a future role with the BBC)?

Also Media Monkey forgets that sending weather reporters 'into the field' is not so uncommon. Liam Dutton reported from floods a couple of years ago, Simon King spent time in Afghanistan.

MM fails to mention that The Schaf was enthusiastic, engaging, proved his worth and his broadcast was well-received. To such an extent, Tomasz gave us a real treat today, obviously mindful that the icicle has struck a chord with many:

I'm sure you have your own phallic-themed comments to make. However two questions: Firstly what is an unexploded bomb doing stuck in Braemar (right background)? And what is that scarf lower down keeping warm. I'll get my thick-lined winter coat...

Oh thanks to Terratec for the video, much appreciated.

PS: Tomasz will be going to Poland for Christmas, so will be disappearing for a couple of weeks around that time. Still on-air a few times before then though!

An icicle made for two

2010-12-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

Tomasz did us proud on BBC Breakfast and the News Channel this morning, proving why he got that TRIC award.

He was indeed on location in Braemar, commenting that "Mother Nature is an artist" when it comes to this wintery weather. She certainly did a good job with Tomasz; he looked a treat with his stubble, his furry hood, brown leather jacket and denims.

At 07:40 Tomasz was concerned, because "some of his equipment is to starting to freeze over". Judging by those jeans, I don't think that was problem-- any volunteers to warm it up? Hang on... what's that Skippy... ah Tomasz meant his technical equipment. Silly me.

However it wasn't weather for kangaroos: Tomasz duly showed his I-pad, which displayed a temperature of -17C at the time of broadcast. Tomasz didn't have a record to celebrate, the lowest it got was -20C; but he's never seen snow like it in his life! Coming from a Pole, that's quite a statement! The 5ft 8in Schaf {i} struggled to tackle some of the drifts, poor soul.

Then on News At One he got it out-- a huge and impressive specimen-- wide as his leg. Yes he produced a javelin-like icicle, typical of those found hanging from homes in Braemar.

More of said ice-features, in pictorial form courtesy of His Loveliness:

Tomasz did acknowledge such weather conditions were common in those parts; however he had spoken to the locals, and they can't remember anything like this in late autumn. I can just see Tomasz wandering around, charming the locals. Why can't a 'freak' weather condition happen in my village, so Tomasz can come round and charm me? A 'mere' -7C round my way, and no only a inch of snow on the ground at most.

As if being on the News Channel all morning and being the star-turn of BBC Breakfast weren't good enough, we even have an online report from His Loveliness.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11907610

Overall superb missives from Tomasz. Engaging, phlegmatic, enthusiastic, informative and even poetic at times. It would be great if they could send him out on location more, hopefully in kinder weather (perhaps a beach location [haha]). Of course he didn't have to go up there, good of him to 'suffer' for his profession. Wasza praca jest bardzo dobra, Tomasz!

PS update. Let's hope Tomasz has a safe journey home:
After last nights crazy temperatures, Scottish transport has been badly affected. My flight to a "balmy"(ish) London was cancelled. Hoping to return in the morning. Another pretty cold night in the glens...The 4x4 was showing -6C to -9C at 4:30pm in tiny villages en route to Aberdeen.

Let's hope he doesn't suffer from a frozen ball.

PPS:
A big thank you to Terratec and Dom for their excellent work.

Carry on up the Cairnwell

2010-12-02T10:10:00.000-08:00

The Schaf was due to be on the News Channel over lunchtime, but he was mysteriously supplanted by Susan Powell {i} et al.

The mystery was soon solved, as The Schaf informed us that has travelled up to Nowheresville! Perhaps it's to atone for *that* incident; I hope the locals don't make him into a wicker-man, to keep themselves warm.

I jest of course: The reason he has been sent up there, is because the BBC recognise his worth, his enthusiasm over the possibility of a record low temperature and we can't wait to see him report up there. He is off the Braemar in Aberdeenshire, where it's likely that the temperatures may reach below -27.2C. It was here in 1895 and 1982 when temperatures dipped to that record low; in 1995 temperatures also dropped that low at Altnaharra (Scottish Highlands).

Tomasz has kindly supplied us with a picture at Braemar, the bench giving some indication of the depth of the snow:

Tomasz explains:
I'm off to Braemar in Cairngorm, Scotland today with the BBC. I'll be reporting on BBC Breakfast and the News Channel tomorrow morning from what could be the coldest place in the UK. Near record temperatures are possible down to minus 25C.

Tomasz is sensibly taking a 4x4 up Cairnwell, rather than cycling up there. For those who like trivia, "The Cairnwell" is the highest public road in the UK, at 665m (2181ft). The highest road in the UK is to an aircraft-radar station upon Great Dun Fell, at 848 m (2782 ft)-- the second highest point in the Pennines.

So what is causing these low temperatures, you may ask? When there is not snow on the ground, by day the ground absorbs heat from sunlight and the air; by night this stored heat is gradually drifts into the air, giving some relative warmth at ground level. However several inches of snow on the ground; it acts like lagging, and keeps any stored heat in the ground (also sunlight reflects off the snow). This factor, combined with clear skies and cold winds, give us the plunging temperature.

Thankfully temperatures are not so cold elsewhere, only a predicted -7C round my way tonight, hope it isn't to raw where you are.So make sure you tune into BBC Breakfast tomorrow, to watch His Loveliness live from Aberdeenshire. Also the News Channel around the same time. Stay safe Tomasz!

Coming in clumps

2010-12-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

That's how The Schaf described the freakish (for this time of year) snow showers, that are blighting the British Isles at present, Tomasz giving us a good ten inches in some areas {i}

Amusingly the weather radar showed snow over London on 10:30 broadcast, yet there was no snow at BBC TV Centre-- "they [Met Office] obviously didn't get my text" Tomasz dryly quipped. And you know if the snow is becomes bad in the UK, when London gets it [wink]!

Especially freaky are the temperatures experienced with this weather. The current record for the UK's lowest temperature, is -27.2C. Tomasz fascinatingly informed us, that we could see temperatures dipping to almost -30C in the Scottish Highlands over the next few nights. It will be so cold, you won't be able to tell the difference between Angus and Agnes. For the rest of us, a "positively balmy" -10C!

If there's a record to be broken, I like to Tomasz will be the one to announce it. I hope he's right, we don't want frosty Scots writing equally frost letters to a certain newspaper.

His Loveliness raises a good question there, about "cats and dogs". Intriguingly there's little evidence as to the origin of the phrase: The most likely, is that in the filthy streets of C17th and 18th England, heavy rain would occasionally carry along dead animals and other debris. Whether that phrase and notion could be applied to snowstorms or not-- answers on a postcard!

Tomasz told us it will feel frigid with this biting temperatures. If there's one cure for frigidity, it's watching (or listening on Radio 4 at 12:57 GMT!) to The Schaf {ii}

Thankfully my corner of Notts has seen only light snowfall, no more than inch accumulated-- main roads are clear too. Temperatures are still low by day, barely nudging 0 degrees, dropped to -5C last night! Of course people reading this in Canada, Finland, Russia, Tibet, Alaska, Iceland (lucky you, with your geothermal heating) and Norway-- you'll be thinking it's "positively balmy"!

Thanks to Terratec, for the upload

{i} Behave
{ii} I should behave too.

Gallivanting in Gdansk

2010-11-26T13:48:00.000-08:00

Czesc!

The blog has been quiet of late, because our hero has embarked on a trip to Gdansk. Via Warsaw, as dense fog shut Gdank's airport, so poor Tomasz had to endure a six-hour coach journey from Warsaw's airport to Gdansk. Still the latter at night looks nice...

Chilly there too, as you'd imagine: It didn't stop wild boar from rummaging around the streets of the city though..

Certainly a rare sight in the UK. The last wild boar was reputedly killed in Wildboarclough (Cheshire) a few centuries ago: However there is a now a small colony of boars in the Forest of Dean (Gloucestershire), after they were 'accidentally-on-purpose' released there a few years ago.

And for those reading this in the British Islands, a warning from His Loveliness...

Yes those along the North Sea flank of the country will have experienced the snow already; Northumberland, North York Moors and Scottish mountains copping the worst. Nothing here in Nottinghamshire yet, two sunny days-- but with chilly (that word again!) temperatures by day-- only 1.5C in the afternoon!

Sticking with us for a few more days, this northerly airflow. Should that low rise north from continental Europe, we could blizzards if it hits the cold air. Tomasz et alia will keep us informed, I'm sure!

A rose, is a rose...

2010-11-19T11:57:00.000-08:00

A few adorable moments from The Schaf today: He was doing his bit for 'charidee' today, wearing a small Pudsey bear badge on his suit, for Children In Need.

Naturally this attracted comment from Simone, who asked Tomasz to show it off (the badge that is)-- before heckling him! Mr McCoy just can't resist, can he? Still, we got a close-up of Tomasz, so I won't complain...

Don't worry Tomasz, you bring sunshine to everyone's life. For News At One, Tomasz changed his groovy floral-pattern purple tie, for a white spotted-pattern one-- matching Pudsey's eye-bandage. Louise Minchin called him "fashionable"! I think it's great that Tomasz went to that effort; if anybody get can viewers to donate generously {i}, then it's The Schaf.

In other news, Emma Crosby had trouble pronouncing His Loveliness's name. He kindly commented that "she wasn't the first", and wistfully remarked that his name had given him "trouble" throughout his life {ii}.

Aaah poor Tomasz well I think it's a superb name, distinctive and cool-- one we don't forget for all the right reasons. My heart melts at its very mention. Besides, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

So who is cuter-- Pudsey Bear or Tomasz? Only one way to find out.... fiiiiiight!{iii}

On serious note, if you wish to donate to Children In Need, please confer
www.bbc.co.uk/pudsey and the number is:
03457 33 22 33

Since Tomasz has made an effort to advertise CIN, who are we to refuse? I'm sure you can raise something substantial for him.

PS: Many thanks to Terratec for his amazing work.

{i} I'm talking money here, nothing 'medical'
{ii} I can see the Daily Wail now: "Polish-born Weatherman flusters newspresent with Austrian surname, before disrepecting viewers with a garish tie and badge in sickening charity stunt"
{iii} I merely evoke the playful of spirit of Harry Hill, I don't condone violence between charity mascots and weather forecasters.

Champers, darling?

2010-11-18T12:13:00.000-08:00

A couple of amusing moments with His Loveliness today, both involving champagne. Before a certain daily publication starts fulminating, Tomasz was not drunk and disorderly.

It was a story involving the discovery of encased champagne, which was found in a shipwreck. This story was of particular interest to Jane Hill, as Matthew Amroliwala was keen to point out in their banter. Jane wanted to "move on swiftly", but Tomasz was all ears about Jane's champers prediliction...

That raised eyebrow was rather cute, don't you think? Lousie Minchin commented that the champagne story was "delicious"... and speaking of which, she linked to The Schaf, who is equally delicious. Tomasz commented (to Louise): "You like a glass of champagne, don't you? Don't we all sometimes"

During one his weather forecasts, he said it would be "damp on the ground" for many of us. Rings true, when one watches Tomasz do a weather forecast... err.. yess

Appears that some sleet is on the way for north-east England, possibly some snow up the Cheviots. I hope none of my readers in Cornwall, is not badly affected by the floods of the past couple of days.

Sad blog of the week

2010-11-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

Having decided to persue a vendatta against Tomasz, the Daily Wail now has his colleagues in their sights, with the following:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1329317/Another-storm-BBC-weather-forecasters-threaten-strikes.html

Of course they can't resist a swipe at Tomasz, he's "popular despite courting controversy". Only if you're a Daily Mail journo (or one of the paper's misanthropic readers); where being a cover star on Attitude, being Polish-born and wearing V-necker jumper/jeans on Country Tracks is a hanging offence.

Of course the Daily Mail is the paragon of moral rectitude, so it's never wrong: Except the weather forecasters in question are Met Office employees, not the BBC's. Nor does it mention that the paper is affiliated with ITV (no bias there then) via Northcliffe. Also Tomasz, Rob McElwee and Phil Avery will become "weather duty managers", even though they "failed to impress" (quoth DM) with "team leadership skills".

Then we have the rational critique from the upstanding audience of the Daily Mail, in the comments section. Summed up as thus....
} "They're typical, prima-donna public-sector workers".
Yeah all public-sector workers earn shed-loads, have gold-plated pensions and are pampered at work. In DM world they do at least.

} "Tomasz is always puts his foot in it/messes up. He's an oddbod and needs to put back-office, put him in his place, wings clipped".
Really? Every single one of his broadcasts? Of course DM readers never make mistakes. If they do, they don't and can't laugh about it. They got and birch themselves instead. By "odd", they mean Tomasz is jovial, has a sense of humour and is too gorgeous for his own good. Why should he have his "wings clipped". Can't have him upsetting miserable folk with little self-esteem can we?

Apparently he "brought the whole BBC into disrepute [re middle-finger]". Alright he wasn't particularly professional, but the overwhelming response was that of humour and sympathy. Certainly I didn't see a marauding mob marching to White City to burn a pyre of LF recepits, with Tomasz as the guy.

} "Get rid of the likes of Tomasz, Alex Deakin, Carol Kirkwood-- get the newsreader to do it. Their celeb status is undeserved. Well-loved? Hardly, they wouldn't be missed. Only the weather-geeks care".
Let's not have qualified experts doing the forecast, who have some personality. Not popular? This blog gets a hundred visits a day, and the superb Dan Corbett blog is not exactly unfurnished with visits either.

} "They're always pregnant".
The female ones of course... in the world of the DM, they should in the kitchen. Preferably making your dinner; can't have women getting to cocky in the workplace now, can we.

} "Want to know the weather? Look outside/look on the net/pine-cone"
That's helpful, if you want to know what the weather/temperature is going to be like in the *following* days, isn't it? Of course DM readers can see into the future, because they know everything will go wrong-- so it's always gloomy in their world! Not everyone has time to go on the net and interpret complex satellite data either.

If the BBC let the Met Office sacked the weather-presenters, the DM fraternity would be in outrage; complaining the BBC is dumbing again, what is it spending the LF on, blah-blah

Well Schaffanatics, would you rather look at a lump of seaweed or pinecone-- or watch/listen to Tomasz? I rest my case.

A few nice comments about Tomasz. Kamil says he is "so fit" (how did that slip past the DM censors); another who says it's a household event chez lui, to watch Tomasz alone-- just to see if he slips-up (backhanded or what?). Finally "keep Tomasz and lash the rest". Errmm... yeah...

I can imagine this their favourite song at the Daily Heil...

Meanwhile, this is Private Eye's take on things!

PS: Tomasz on tomorrow, lunchtime shift (inc News At One, end of You & Yours plus News Channel)

Shroud of cloud

2010-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

Tomasz came out with a nice slice of poetry (confer today's blog title), almost as jaunty as the pink-striped tie he was sporting. Otherwise a routine (and of course "chilly") day, not much of His Loveliness; the Chandlers release from their hostage ordeal, dominated the News Channel.

I was expecting a five-day forecast before Forumala One, but it didn't eventuate. I have managed to upload Tomasz's Have I Got News For You appearance, an embedded video has supplanted the i-player link on Friday's blog. Many thanks to Terratec, for that.

After Gordon Rasmay's descent into oblivion, perhaps Tomasz could do a cookery show to keep him on our screens? Better than Nigella Lawson licking her utensils, or Ainsley Harriot with his Percy Pepper.

Team The Schaf up with Rustie Lee... I don't care what anyone says, she'll be always be the best telly chef for me! Tomasz would make a great double-act with Rustie... if this happened with Les Dawson, imagine what magic we'd get with Tomasz?
Rustie Lee with Les Dawson, make sure you press play

Pausing for Tomasz

2010-11-13T12:54:00.000-08:00

The Schaf is so worthy of worship, that Maxane Mawhinney "paused" for a weather update from His Loveliness. He was looking classy today; in a snazzy blue-and-white tie, a neat layer of stubble and a suit clinging to his biceps. More impressive was Tomasz's array of hand and finger movements to demonstrate weather-patterns, I can just imagining Tomasz hand-jiving.

And another one from Terratec (you're just too good!). Tomasz didn't squint hard enough at his feedback; almost mistook Wales for Northern Ireland, so he did. Not to worry, we are hearing the return of Tomasz's favourite word for autumn/winter-- it's "chilly" out.

Extended Have I Got News For You tonight, I hope to be getting it onto Youtube with the very kind assistance of Terratec (paint him Deputy Chief Shaffanatic).

A warning for tomorrow though (!), from His Loveliness

‎On Country Tracks or Weather For The Week Ahead this weekend...standard clothes (approved by BBC) for that particular weather broadcast...as always.

Yes, quite right: Dinner jacket, and don't show too much neck either. Can't be reminding jealous blokes and assorted Angry of Mayfairs, what a stunning physique you have Tomasz.

As it happens, there is no Country Tracks tomorrow, because of Rememberance Sunday celebrations: So I imagine Tomasz will appear before Formula 1, to give us the five-day forecast in his suit and tie. Well we can't have the Daily Mail having another thromby, can we. They'll be calling for him to wear a mask next.

Have I got news for you

2010-11-12T10:09:00.000-08:00

Tomasz got another accolade this week, a mention on Have I Got News For You {i}. The main topic of conversation was the NUJ strike at the BBC, and an aside was *that* report in the Daily Bile about Tomasz's attire-- "causing a storm". Ian Hislop wondered if Tomasz had literally caused a storm (in jest of course).

I'm pleased to say the angle from Jo Brand was to sneer at said paper, rather than His Loveliness. Paul Merton recognised him as the bloke who stuck fingers up onscreen, which precipitated that all-too-familiar clip. Paul charitably suggested he was showing there was a cyclone expected over the Midlands! The others were more passive in their reponse, but they were clearly smirking at the paper and the "outrage". Lovely screengrab of him!

For people in the Uk, there's an extended version of the show this Sunday on BBC2-- we may get more on that! Tomasz Tweeted that he is "honoured" by his mention on the programme-- despite the "story" about his attire.

I like the idea of the new weathergirl at the beginning of HIGNFY. Although Her Majesty was on the set of UTV, which is ITV's franchise in Northern Ireland-- not the BBC's. Not that I'm trying to ruin a good joke or anything.

Should any Daily Mail/Metro readers be reading this, don't watch this Sunday's Country Tracks, you may be treated to shocking scenes such as this:

If you want to be even more outraged, watch Countryfile. You may see Mr dishy Deakin wearing his casuals as well, shlock horror..

Not sure Alex "mah dear" Deakin is on Cfl this week, he's been on Janice Long's show most of this week-- with chatter straight of the Sherrie Hewson book of conversation!

Tomasz is on tomorrow for his usual lunchtime session, and Country Tracks too. I hope he dresses as stunningly as did last Sunday-- ignore what a certain paper says. Tomasz-- you're worth the Licence Fee alone!

{i} For those outside the UK, Have I Got News For You (HIGNFY) is popular long-running satirical show, that has been on BBC since 1990. It features Private Eye editor Ian Hislop and surreal comedian Paul Merton. They are joined by a guest chairperson, and a guest panelist each (often a comedian, journalist, actor or politician)

The show is just for laughs, and the quizshow style is really to give it structure and a device for banter between knowledgeable Hislop and wisecracking Merton.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_I_Got_News_for_You

Under the radar

2010-11-10T12:33:00.000-08:00

Tomasz has been doing the overnight shift for the past couple of days-- but I regret to say I don't have much to show for it!

PS: He was on BBC Radio Jersey, 1:47:29 with nippy trossachs. Don't moan about it being chilly! Pants-- nothing dreary about Tomasz though.

He wasn't on Janice Long's show, nor the Shipping Forecast and he didn't do the News Channel-- so no footage or i-player links for those. However I'm grateful to my wonderful Canadian readers, for pointing out he was on BBC World instead. He was lumbered with the unfortunate task of talking about Hurricane Tomas! He did manage a cute smile about the name; although not much levity beyond that, considering damage it has caused in Haiti and environs.

It's nice to see The Schaf has such a following in Canada. I get a percentage breakdown of visitors through Statcounter, in terms of countries. The UK gets ~85%, but Canada is always in second place. Canadians clearly have good taste-- perhaps Tomasz should do a special tour of honour there!

The USA is in third place. I know that's one of his favourite resorts (especially Florida), he has a following in that state for sure! Unsurprisingly Poland is fourth, a strong cluster of fans in a little fishing village called Gdansk (you may have heard of it). Poles I know here in the UK adore Tomasz too-- darn right as well.

Despite the Daily Mould and its sister rag the Metcole, this blog gets ~100 visitors a day. I doubt that's owing to my spellbinding writing {i}, but more to with the popularity of His Loveliness. A special mention must go to this letter in the Metro today

I think that deserves a

I don't know if you'll read this Scott, but a huge thanks for that text, you're a star-- hit the nail on the head.

He does indeed always look awesome. Putting Tomasz's excellent forecasting/presenting aside, Tomasz reminds me of a John Andresen model{ii}. Perhaps why Tomasz likes Norway so much, he fits in so well! Shame I don't get more Norsk readers though...

Anyway I have sources at the BBC, and I know Tomasz is well-liked there-- so I hope the BBC keeps him onscreen in some capacity. Maybe Strictly for Tomasz next year? Instead we got Victoria Wood and the Robbins clan's friend instead...

{i} No sniggering at the back
{ii} Nothing hardcore, but not "work safe" either. Although Mr Adresen's repetoire is male athletes in Norway, he is a fan of Tomasz, he's emailed me! Another photoshoot beckons perhaps [haha], maybe Tim Reed ought to contact studio@johnandresen.com ... in our dreams

Batten down the hatches

2010-11-08T02:26:00.000-08:00

I know it's probably a little shallow to wax lyrical about such things: However Tomasz was a vision of pulchritude yesterday on Country Tracks, a blissful blue. Stormy weather ahead, and Tomasz showcase a very eyecatching area of pressure down in the south, with swelling isobars.

Looks as though he had only just managed to batten down his hatch...

Sadly not everyone admires Tomasz's casual look. I'm reliably informed our old friends the Metro and the Daily Mail have decided to stick the knife in: I haven't picked a copy of either today (for scanning), however there's an abridged version online and the Daily Wail

I can only imagine I've irked them, with my references to said papers and their irrational reports about Tomasz; because this report isn't scraping the barrel, but raking out the bin! Especially as they have only managed to find one complaint (ye gods), from a Stephen Jones of Brighton {iv}

I can only speculate that Mr Jones (and Metro or Mail journos) has been working stuck down a Chielan mine, because the male presenters have always dressed casually for Country Tracks-- Tomasz several times-- so why the sudden outrage? Alex Deakin was dressed just like for Countryfile only a few hours later {i}, no fit of vapours about that.

Could it be that Mr Jones and journos from Metro, are jealous about how stunning Tomasz looks in his casuals? The chest {ii}, shoulders, biceps, glutus maximus and [ahem] the 'other thing'. I wonder because the Metro (in paper version) and the Mail have seen it fit to repeat all his gaffes again.

Are you running out of Cheryl Cole stories, Metro?

Well for those who do have the memory of goldfish, Tomasz did present the rest of Sunday's forecasts on the News Channel in a suit. He has a little message for you at the beginning...

Ignore the Metro and Daily Hate Mail {iii}, Tomasz you a classy act and you are an awesome sight. Speaking of "blocked drains", mine need dealing with now...

If you are a reader from the British Islands {v}, then be careful in these storms

PS: Thanks to Terratec for uploads, especially spotting the potential with the latter!

{i} Lex Deakin was looking very dapper too.
{ii} Lucky poppy, that's all I'm saying
{iii} Perhaps a texting/letter-wrting campaign to Metro is needed, eh?
{iv} "Come in off the street", what's that supposed to mean anyway? Does he think forecasters live at TVC or summat?
{v} The UK plus Isle of Man and the Channel Islands, since some have asked-- precisely the BBC's national catchment area. The IOM and Channel Islands are not technically part of the UK, instead "associated" with it. British Isles (as opposed to British Islands) includes the Republic of Ireland too, completely separate from the UK and therefore not served domestically by the BBC.

Striking sight

2010-11-06T08:40:00.001-07:00

As you may well be aware, BBC journalists have been on a National Union of Journalists strike, so BBC News's output has been limited today. This means we have got to see more of an ever-striking sight, His Loveliness.

I was certainly struck by the following piece of phraseology (thanks to Dom Robinson for this)...

Tomasz talking of "not having a decent blow this autumn". I'm sure there would be no shortage of volunteers.

Fnarr,fnarr.

Later on the News Channel, a half-hour programme about the sweet Stuart Broad, cricketer extraordinaire. Even Broady cannot out-cute The Schaf, especially with Tomasz's jazzy tie today. "Boy-o-boy" indeed...

Ta to Terratec for that one^

I liked the concerned smile about Monday's weather. Country Tracks tomorrow, eyes peeled between 11:45 and 12:00 on BBC1! I wonder what casuals he will be treating us with tomorrow? Let's hope his graphics behave this time...

PS: He was also on the Today Programme at 00:57:32

Tomasz's damb squib

2010-11-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

Tomasz was put in his place today, being strictly told there was "no time for chit-chat"; perhaps just as well, since Simone was co-presenting at that moment. Possibly why the gallery were laughing at the diktat, no bromance banter for Tomasz and Simon.

At lunchtime he chuckled at having to effectively repeat his forecast from yesterday.
Then talked of things being "moist", and things being a "damp sqib". I was having my lunch at the time, and I almost choked on my growler.

Tomasz's flirting

2010-11-02T12:31:00.000-07:00

Terratec to thank for the following double-bill. First off Simon McCoy wished Tomasz a cheery good morning, no persiflage these days; understandable given past events, but shame really.

Still we had Tomasz with a nice layer of stubble and talking about temperatures not being way above normal, but "waaaaaaaay" above average-- that's emphasis for you. On a shallower note; is it my imagination, or is Tomasz's suit struggling to contain his biceps these days?

Later on we had superb onomatopoeia from Tomasz: "Miserly, murky and mild" conditions-- so poetic. In another forecast, he talked of air-systems "flirting" with the UK!

Certainly plenty of fieldfares came in around my way the other Sunday-- feasting on the berry bushes along the Grantham Canal. The number of fieldfares, redwing and waxwings coming in from Nordic countries, depends on the berry crop up there. If there's has been a low yield (owing to a harsh autumn), they flock here in greater numbers.

Fieldfares make a "chack-chack" call rather like a football rattle, and are usually in flocks of a dozen to twenty. Redwings are smaller than our song thrushes, and have a distinctive white line across the eye. Waxwings are rare, but are the prettiest: Mostly pink with a distinctive crest; with black, white and red wings.

So keep an eye and ear out, when walking near berry bushes in the coming weeks!

Points of view

2010-11-01T13:14:00.001-07:00

Poor Tomasz has been picked on again, albeit obliquely. On Sundays there is a programme on BBC television called Points Of View, presented by Jeremy Vine. It allows viewers to vent their spleen about programmes on the BBC: Occasionally correspondents are nice about programmes; but it appears the type of querulous contributors to Jezza's Radio 2 show, dominate his telly gig too.

One such person is Nina Dorian, getting exercised about presenters and reporters gesticulating wildly on television. To be fair she does have a valid point, in that some television personalities do seem to be under the impression they are directing aircrafts into hangars.

Her gripe was illustrated by a montage of various presenters gesticulating-- this montage included The Schaf! For a start he doesn't gesticulate as much as Dan Corbett; no offence to Dan, indeed his gestures are almost an homage to Tommy Cooper. However that is besides the point, because weather-presenters need to use arm/hand movements to illustrate charts, movements of systems or pointing out rough locations on the map. Tomasz is not like a breakfast television presenter merely yacking to his co-presenter, or a reporter doing a simple piece-to-camera.

I think of a suitable hand gesture or two, to give the researcher who saw it fit to include Tomasz in that little montage

However I'm too ladylike to give a demonstration, or indeed a screengrab of a certain infamous incident involving His Loveliness.

Instead a link, 11:26 onwards.

In other news, The Schaf is due to be on News At One tomorrow and Wednesday-- plus the News Channel between 11:00-15:00 and Radio at around 12:58. Rejoice.

Thundercats ho!

2010-10-28T10:01:00.001-07:00

Tomasz showed off his prize pumpkin today, on Facebook. It was beautifully carved to give the outline of the Thundercats logo {i}

I just hope that pumpkin doesn't raise the spirit of Mumm-Ra. In case you're wondering, he drew on the design himself...

I've finally got the book about Tomasz. I wouldn't recommend it, all it is a load of Wikipeda articles cobbled together! The first one was about The Schaf himself, his Wiki page. Then it was followed by Wiki articles about BBC News, the BBC Weather, BBC World, TRIC awards, University of Reading, Met Office, St John's College, Western Islands and Scottish Highlands. All stuff you can look up yourself on Wikipedia-- most strange. At least it's nothing malicious about His Loveliness.

Tomasz is not back on our screens until November 2nd and 3rd {ii}, so I want to wish him a great Halowe'en; I hope his party goes well and has fun dressing up as Dracula. I like Halowe'en, because I don't have to dress up at all, and I've been called a "count" a few times. If you have any trouble with the kidsies, just tell them it's illegal for them to do it, under the 1824 Vagrancy Act.

A suitably spooky tale for the big day, some of this actually took place on Halowe'en...

{i} A animated series from the late 1980s, about humanoid cats. Yes really.
{ii} No Country Tracks this week, darn

Changing everyday

2010-10-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

A slightly distrubing moment on Radio 2 in the wee hours of this morning, with Janice Long talking about sperm, just before the weather slot. I feared that Janice would ask Tomasz to give a mouthful on that bad taste topic.

1:12:43

However it was Laura Tobin chatting with Janice, and the topic changed to Jon Bon Jovi. Laura is a huge fan (even more so after meeting him), and she was worried about fainting when she interviewed him. I think if I were to meet or interview Tomasz, I'd suffer the same apprehension!

Clearly Alex Deakin appearing on Mastermind has sparked a trend, Laura had also been asked to do Strictly (she had twisted her ankle though), as was Tomasz. For many men, Laura is female equivalent of Tomasz... I would've loved to have seen Tomasz gyrating like a dervish in some those costumes they use on Strictly. Tomasz reports on Twitter that he and Laura Tobin were jiving to theme tunes from children's programmes-- Denver The Last Dinosaur (he's gone quiet)

Laura did the Shipping Forecast this morning-- so I take it Tomasz was on BBC World duties? Hope so. He found time to chat with Liam Dutton on Twitter: Apparently Boy George is following Liam... in a Twitter sense, rather than literally I'd hope-- he could end up being chained to a radiator.

Stranger things have happened to telly personalities, as the QI quizmaster and Dr House once found out...

Finally Tomasz will be on his customary daytime shift tomorrow. News At One, News Channel between 11:00-15:00 plus Radio 4 after You & Yours.

Disappearing like a phantom in ze night

2010-10-26T11:14:00.001-07:00

Tomasz was on Janice Long's show briefly this morning, sadly not the usual fun-filled chitter-chatter, bar Janice complaining about a shaft of cold air. Tomasz wryly reckoned it may have been a ghost. I can sympathise with that view, I once went on a Galleries of Justice ghost-hunting exhibition: Although nothing entered me, I almost had the willies put up me.

Janice cryptically explained that Tomasz had "to dash off and do something elsewhere", thus Tomasz did as my title (or rather Michelle of The Resistance) suggested. Then Ms Long kindly said it's always a pleasure to have Tomasz on the show-- sadly it won't be an occurence for much longer-- make the most of it!

Listen to this in the next few days...1:11:50

I take it Tomasz was on BBC World. As far as I'm aware, it's not receivable in the UK-- so I rely on the Canadian Schaffanatics to tell me (or indeed Polish, Irish etc!). No Tomasz on the Shipping Forecast though.

Same shift tonight, let's hope we get more of His Loveliness with Janice!

Things that go bump in the night

2010-10-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

The marvellous Matt Taylor was on with Janice Long in the wee hours of this morning, and His Loveliness was mentioned. He was talking about Tomasz's Halowe'en preparations and his legendary parties

"[The Schaf] is the ultimate Halowe'en fan. He spends weeks doing his house up for it. He does a fantastic job of it, the most amazing Halowe'en party you'll ever go to". Janice wants an invite, no doubt she'll be having words in a few hours-- Tomasz is doing the overnight shift for the next couple of nights! People outside the UK (Canada of course!) may wish to watch BBC World tonight and tomorrow.

Matt also revealed that trick or treat is a big thing in Glasgow. After watching Taggart for many years I can believe that.
"Thus scunner got muhdurred, cuzz he wouldnae give the bairns some sweets"
"Muhdurr?"
"Aye muhdurred, foond floa'in' in the Revva Clade"
Or something like that. I can't wait for CSI Glasgow with Reid, Ross and Burke.

Here's Matt on The Schaf, 1:15:14
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00vg3yn/Janice_Long_25_10_2010/

Mother Nature is kind

2010-10-24T08:39:00.001-07:00

This was the opening line of Tomasz's forecast at 10:28 on the News Channel. It certainly is kind, since it brought The Schaf into our lives. It was certainly kind to Tomasz; not least what we could see of his Craghopper(?) trousers, demonstrated. Nice shirt/fleece combo too. He warned of frosts, but the sight and sound of His Loveliness is enough to melt any icicle.

Sadly more artificial things were not kind to poor Tomasz, as his graphics went into meltdown-- it's sabotage I tell you! {i}. The Schaf is so adorable, even his computer wants to go down on him. Seriously though, he did an excellent job at ad-libbing, apologised, made light of it and was a true pro. That's what we like about Tomasz (are you listening bosses?)-- how many other presenters would handle that with such panache. And we got *the smile* at the end.

He even had the grace to apologise to us loyal Schaffanatics, for not getting the full forecasts across. Not to worry Tomasz, not your fault. To err is to be human; but to really foul things up, you need computers. He did offer an explanation for us...

At least a gremlins weren't present for the rest of his broadcasts on the News Channel. He was able to tell us about "stiff northerlies". I suppose they may happen, if you take too many iron tablets.

{i} No doubt certain newspapers will have it down as another "gaffe", and denigrate Tomasz because of it [rolls eyes]

Krusty the clown

2010-10-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

His Loveliness was back on today, with a classy blue tie and tanfastic glow. However Tomasz did seem a little distrated; I swear I saw a strange shadow on the screen for one or two of his forecasts-- it's sabotage I tell you!

We did have an adorable (but minor) slip-up: Referring to the cold night over Northern Ireland, The Schaf said that the morning would be "crusty". What could make it crusty there, I wonder? Perhaps there are many hippies in Norn Iron, so there are. Of course our weather god meant "cold and frosty". Least he can laugh at himself...

The calming influence of Northern Ireland's finest, Maxine Mawhinney, meant that things ran more smoothly at 13:56..

Either way, seeing Tomasz on telly makes me as happy as Rustie Lee on Pro-Plus.

Meanwhile over on Twitter, Tomasz wants you to show off your prize-winning pumpkin! He aims to showcase the finest photos of pumpkins on his website. Speaking of which, the website has been updated with some nice pics of Tomasz on London-Paris bike-ride, plus a Halowe'en themed header. As you may know, Tomasz is famed for his Halowe'en parties....

Tomasz also kindly thanks everyone for the kind messages on Facebook, and is "still at the weather centre, for the moment". Reportedly the 'regime change' is due at the end of November-- I'm pleased to say his website remarks he's on "throughout November".

He's scheduled to be on Country Tracks tomorrow. As interesting as Jodie Kidd is, The Schaf ought to be on in the last quarter-hour (between 12:00 and 12:15). I'm sure the wonderful Terratec will capture the moments of glory for us! Thanks for the two uploads today, by the way.

Five alive?

2010-10-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Some interesting news on the horizon, as reported by The Guardian today. It appears bosses of the BBC's Radio Five Live are keen to have Tomasz as its weather-presenter:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/oct/21/bbc-weather-tomasz-schafernaker

I thought the article was a bit harsh, again we the have "despite the gaffes" canard-- apparently this is why he's high-profile. For pity's sake, don't these journos get it? Tomasz isn't notable (just) because of his "gaffes": It's because people love his style of presenting, love his personality, he does an excellently engaging job of presenting the weather. Oh yeah, and he's rather gorgeous as well... alright that factor is lost on radio, but least we still have Tomasz's melifluous voice!

Tomasz has nothing on Nicky Campbell in the gaffe-stakes, considering his difficultly with West Kent Hunt-- not once-- but twice! Reverend Spooner would have been proud. Yet nobody harps on about Campbell's cock-up do they? They're just jealous, Tomasz.

However I note a very reliable source on Facebook, simply comments: "Don't believe it!!".

Meanwhile, thanks for Matt for the following: It appears His Loveliness has a book coming out! Amazon has the following info...
Tomasz Schafernaker [Paperback]
Lambert M. Surhone (Editor), Mariam T. Tennoe (Editor), Susan F. Henssonow (Editor) £38. # Paperback: 128 pages
# Publisher: Betascript Publishing (28 Sep 2010)
# Language English
# ISBN-10: 6133148217
# ISBN-13: 978-6133148215
# Product Dimensions: 22.9 x 15.2 x 0.7 cm
# Average Customer Review: No customer reviews yet.

I had wondered whether it was our Tomasz, but then we found this on the Waterstones site. That biography sounds familiar! Although he's not mentioned as an author? I hope it's been authorised by him...

Speaking of which, I wonder what type of book this is? A biograhpy, or a weather-related tome. Or a nice beside-table book with lots of pictures of Tomasz, which means I won't be leaving the house on a Sunday.

As Jim Taggart used to say: "Currrriouserrr and currriouserrrr". I'll be keeping my ear to the ground, and certainly listening for Tomasz..

Swansong?

2010-10-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

It appears Tomasz will be on for the 23rd and 24th of October, for the lunchtime shift! Please, please, please can there be a Country Tracks then: Although there's little chance of a short-sleeved rugby shirt during this cold snap, but it would be a treat to see Tomasz in *those* jeans, maybe the last time for a while.

The 25th and 26th will see Tomasz doing the overnight stint-- so Shipping Forecast and BBC World-- Canadian fans rejoice for the latter (or wherever else you international Schaffanatics may lurk)! Also Radio 2, so a chat with the classy Janice Long on the cards for the wee hours of Monday morning. He also may be on BBC radio station near you (BBC Devon is often a good bet)

The 28th and 29th has Tomasz on the News Channel/BBC News At One, plus Radio 4 after You & Yours. Let's hope these appaearances will remind the Met Office and the Beeb what a superlative chap His Loveliness is!

Rumour on Twittersphere is that Radio Five Live are coveting Tomasz to be their weatherman. I hope my mentioning of this rumour, helps it to come true... my spies tell me that Tomasz was approach to do Strictly Come Dancing this year!

I can't see Tomasz appearing on Britain's Got Diarrhoea (confer this month's Viz). Let's hope he can do something for Children In Need? Let's Sir Terrence on the case. Even if he doesn't, the latest Janet & John CD is available from www.charitygoods.com-- Clinging To The Wreckage.

In absence of Tomasz this week, a bedtime story for you...

I did have a nice picture of Tomasz, but a little box says the image upload gubbins, is unavailable at present [comedy harumph]

Facebook fraternity

2010-10-16T12:58:00.001-07:00

I'm sure many of you follow The Schaf on Facebook: As well as writing kind comments of support on His Loveliness's page there, we now have a Facebook page calling for his return:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_125579087496656
Fbk got Rage Against The Machine to Christmas Number One last year, and got Cadbury's to re-introduce Wispa-- so who knows?

Speaking of which, I've noticed a couple of comments on Facebook, claiming the decision about Tomasz was borne "out of homophobia". I doubt (I certainly hope) this is not the case, given the large number of gay men that work at Television Centre, not least presenters for BBC News; James Dagwell, Julian Worricker and Evan Davies for instance.

On a brighter note, a nice piece from a Guardian writer, who writes in defence of charismatic weather presenter. She calls Tomasz "glamorous", so she gets my vote!. Ian McCaskill receiving the biggest postbag... well that shows weather-presenters with character are popular. Not only does His Loveliness have that, but he has the amazing good looks to complement it.

If things don't turn out well for Tomasz in his new role, I'd like to make a suggestion, a revival of an idea I had previously: Tomasz has a keen interest in the paranormal, so I reckon they should revive Strange But True {i}. His dramatic narration and engaging phraseology would be perfect! He could even take the mick out those hammy reconstructions, that's the programme's trademark. No offence to Michael Aspel, but Tomasz is much easier on the eye too.

If I recall rightly, his main interest in the paranormal is to do with UFOs. This an epsiode of Strange But True documenting our most notorious UFO incident in the UK {ii}. Imagine what Tomasz would do with this...

{i} Call me selfish, but I wouldn't want to lose him to the USA, and being on Coast To Coast instead [haha]
{ii} If you go to Rendlesham Forest, there's even an official UFO trail to go on now!

Update

2010-10-14T10:49:00.001-07:00

Czesc all.

Many thanks for the kind comments yesterday; not just about my blog, but expressing support for the good man himself. His agent Tim Reed, released this statement yesterday:

"I'm shocked that due to restructuring the Met Office have taken the decision to remove Tomasz from any on air presence. Tomasz and I are still waiting for feedback from the Met Office as to why he hasn't been chosen to remain in the broadcasting team. Nobody at the BBC has ever expressed any dissatisfaction to either Tomasz or me about the standard of his work."
Tim Reed Management

I have praise for the Daily Mirror today, who reported the news without any snide remarks. In fact they were charming about him: Calling him a "hunk" (damn right!), stating he was a "rising star" and recognise his "cult" status. They were also matter-of-fact about Attitude and his 'incidents' in the past. So good on Tom Bryant.

Shame the commenters on the story can't be as charming, one doubting his status as a "hunk". Oh dear! So what if has an agent-- it's Tomasz who pays for that-- not the BBC! Besides, Fiona Bruce doing Antiques Roadshow doesn't make her any less of a newsreader. On a side-note, I was intrigued to see the Mirror reporting that five presenters are going too-- who are the other two I wonder?

I was slightly disappointed with The Independent, who said that Tomasz "has built up a cult following despite a series of on-screen gaffes". I suspect the journo who wrote that, doesn't appreciate that the way Tomasz deals with his slip-ups, is the reason he is adored: He's not afraid to laugh at himself, and encourages to others to do so (plus he does such an excellent job the rest of the time). To be fair, the article does call him "popular", and points out his TRIC award.

Pink News have also reported on it, rather unkindly listing all his "gaffes" (although I can't take any a publication seriously, that uses that ghastly term "the gay community"). However at least they conceded the fans were angry at the decision.

Unsurprisingly Sky News concentrate on the negatives, not unlike Mr Murdoch to bash the Beeb of course! I wonder if they reported on Adam Boulton's rant at Alistair Campbell, or Kay Burley's controversies with such zeal?
.

Although kind towards Rob McElwee and Phil Avery (fair enough), The Daily Telegraph was probably the meanest of the lot towards The Schaf. I quote: "Like the early mist that burns off as the sun strengthens, he will leave behind an ill-defined impression on the viewer's memory, apart from having once been caught on camera making a rude gesture". Really? What about his huge Fbk following, this blog, Youtube clips and the award?

I think on many a person's mind, he has left a very nice impression (especially that with Attitude shoot!).It's amazing how many people seem to be under the impression that Msrs McElwee and Avery are "proper" meteorlogists, when all the BBC national weather forecasters have degrees in meteorology. Also the BBC forecasts talk about the jet-stream and isobars; Tomasz certainly does, as my blog has shown frequently.

Still, somebody at the Daily Torygraph has some brain-cells to rub together, and this nice column shows

On a brighter note, ATV Network was charitable about Tomasz, especially over the Middle Finger saga. The article also talks of his popularity and "down to earth approach". Not only that, it features three highly supportive messages posted on the Facebook site, suggesting it sums up the prevalent mood. Shame that a commenter called "thepark" spits vitriol at him beneath it, all that bile has obviously given him/her a selective memory and the inability to use capital-letters or punctuation correctly. I'm sure you lovely Schaffanatics can can put him/her right, eh?

Overall I think it's a shame that so many reports and people seem to be concentrating on his "gaffes" all the time, and trying to knock him. The irony is most reports have concentrated on Tomasz; why would they do that, if he isn't popular? I don't mean any disrepect to Phil Avery or Rob McElwee when I say that, by the way.

It's as if he blunders all the time, and they ignore the rest of his forecasts: Engaging, intelligent, good-humoured and cheerful (yes and handsome!)-- the things that make him popular. They ignore the fact that other presenters have had blunders; where's the vitriol for Laura Tobin, after her mobile phone incident? Or Richard Edgar for talking of "shitty weather"?

And I note nobody has mentioned Tomasz's charity bike-rides in these articles; without the help of his fans, he wouldn't have raised such huge amounts of money for good causes, out of all his trouble. Or that talk he did at East Sheen Library.

I can only imagine some bitter journalists and internet trolls feel threatened by somebody who is stunningly good-looking, popular and charismatic-- I really hope Beeb bosses don't pay much attention to them. We have seen popular presenters (on shows well-suited for them) moved on, because of sour bosses. I hope Tomasz doesn't become one of those victims.

I, and doubtless my many readers, will support you Tomasz-- whatever happens.

Sad news

2010-10-13T10:20:00.000-07:00

A rather sombre note today. I apologise in adavance for the length of this post, it may be my last for a while...

If a certain report is true, it appears that Tomasz is to taken away from presenting duties and given a backroom job instead-- along with Rob McElwee and Phil McAvery. This (reportedly) is owing to cost-cutting measures on the part of the Met Office-- and with BBC input no doubt.

Here is said article. I must give you a health warning first, it's from the Daily Mail (where else), so keep the Optrex at hand....
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1320129/BBC-axe-3-weather-presenters-including-Tomasz-Schafernaker-cost-cutting-drive.html

If cut-backs have to be made, I can perhaps understand the rationale for Rob McElwee and Phil Avery, given they are nearer retirement age than the others. I would stress I have nothing against them personally: I rather like Rob's wry style and dry asides. Phil has a very clear broadcasting voice, and gives authoritative forecasts-- so it will be a shame to see them disappear.

Of course my focus is on Tomasz, and I am sad to hear this news-- as well as bemused. Lest we forget, Tomasz won a TRIC award earlier this year, with full praise from his BBC and Met Office superiors-- and rightly so. All the BBC weather-presenters had to re-apply for the job; despite his popularity and award, he didn't cut the grade for broadcasting to the nation. Oh my days.

You'll notice the DM here is making snide remarks about him, calling him "gaffe-prone", "controversial" and "Polish-born" {i}. Apparently in the Daily Mail's world, somebody posing in "skimpy" {ii} shorts for a gay magazine (the decadence), is "controversial". I can only imagine that their journalists have not been down to beach or swimming-pool recently.

I really hope Tomasz's superiors haven't made this decision on Tomasz's supposedly 'frequent' gaffes, given that all his fellow forecasters (not just Phil or Rob) make errors occasionally. Tomasz's gaffes come to the fore because of the way he adorably reacts, plus Terratec and I flag them up-- to right-thinking people's amusement. His "obscene" middle-finger gesture... admittedly not advisable, but it he's not exactly Frank Bough, is he? Besides the BBC/Met Office didn't sack Michael Fish or Bill Giles, for failing to predict a massive gale that flattened half of Southeast England 23 years ago this month.

I think it's a crazy decision-- because Tomasz is undoubtedly popular. He has thousands of followers on Facebook, this blog gets over hundred hits most days {iii}, he got plenty support after the middle-finger incident and most intelligent posters write nice things about him on Youtube {iv}.

Even on the DM's comments pages, there were nice comments for Tomasz. Usually they are replete with absolutist comments with certain words written LIKE THIS, to signal that unironic hyperbole and a lack of perspective are contained therein; accusing something of [insert supposed threat] gone mad, without realising they are equally mad (if more so).

Of course there were some people on certain forums who took schadenfreude at the news about Tomasz, we can't have weather presenters being exceedingly handsome and having personalities (especially if they are quirky {v}), can we now? Others were taking the General Cheeseburger approach to all Beeb weather-forecasts: "Round them up, put them in a field and bomb the bastards".

However there were some kind souls stating that Tomasz brightens their days, and he's adorable. Puce-face DM-readers and green-eyed monsters seem to forget that beyond the occasional infamous gaffe, Tomasz does a superb job; he presents the weather in an entertaining way and doesn't dumb down.

Even though his Facebook-followers lament his absence when he's not for a few days, his superiors allegedly think he's not good for onscreen presenting-- apparently giving the nebulous reason of not having "team-leadership" skills. I'd like to the criteria for this! He certainly leads his 'team' of viewers well, I'd imagine his Facebook feedback is only the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps Tomasz is *too* charismatic?

Speaking of which, this has got me wondering. Is there some ulterior reasoning behind all this? In the time I've been doing this blog, Tomasz has: Got himself an agent, posed for Attitude, set-up his own professional website, done a mammoth bike-ride, set up his own Facebook page, blog plus publicised his Twitter, appeared on prime-time Saturday telly and has developed a very distinctive presenting style. He has culviated a cult following, and rightly so.

Perhaps he saw this decision coming, and these recent 'showbiz' forays, are an indication of preparing for the future. I have had a few emails of late suggesting that Tomasz wouldn't stay within the realms of weather-forecasting for much longer, perhaps these prophesies were informed than I could ever know.

The most worrying part of the article is, that "at least [sic] two of them were later offered jobs as 'team leaders' in a production role". I hope one was Tomasz, it doesn't say of course, although the focus of the article was omniously on His Loveliness.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1320129/BBC-axe-3-weather-presenters-including-Tomasz-Schafernaker-cost-cutting-drive.html#ixzz12Ga0LXMg

I can't see somebody of The Schaf's calibre and immense talent disappearing off screens for long. Not least because of protest from us devotees, but see I can many a canny telly producer approaching his agent for gigs! Somebody who will appreciate his talents, and not see him shunted off to back office somewhere (that's if the DM has got its story straight).

He could possibly end up on ITV, Five, Channel 4 or Sky of course. He could even wind up at a BBC region (probably not Scotland!); I doubt at BBC East Midlands, who have a plethora of presenters-- including the Des Coleman (for it is he). So I doubt he will be moving down the road from me soon (damn!)

I just want to wish Tomasz all the best whatever he does in the future (again if the DM article is true?), it would be a shame if he didn't brighten up our screens once again. What will Simon McCoy do?

Some sad blighters out there may not be able to handle gorgeous people with charisma and warmth, but here at the The Schaf we can worship him!

I do apologise to Tomasz and anybody else if any of the details from the article aren't accurate, please feel free to pass comment-- especially if The Divine One himself is reading!

{i} Yeah bloody foreigner/immigrant. Come over, here stealing our jobs...
{ii} Showing too much ankle probably
{iii} I doubt that's because of my scribings!
{iv} The ones who aren't semi-literate, and know the correct meaning of the word "fail". It means to not succeed at all, rather than a minor slip-up.
{v} Sad to see Dan Corbett getting stick on those comments too. Where would be without his "finishing numbers" and "pic-nic basket". Those who diss Dan, can "whoosh" right off.

Sliding in from the south-west

2010-10-05T14:37:00.001-07:00

Tomasz caught me out today, by being on later in the afternoon. Not to worry, because the ever-excellent Terratec captured His Loveliness talking about a "soaker" that will "slide in from the south-west". I know Tomasz is being 'poetic', and doesn't mean things 'in that way'; but there's something heart-melting about the way he says these things, isn't there? Or is it me?

Looks as though some people's marshmallows and candy floss will getting damp at Goose Fair tomorrow.

Harumph, Wednesday

2010-10-04T11:37:00.000-07:00

Don't worry readers: I haven't completely gone "szalony", I do know it's Monday and not Wednesday. My blog title is a reference to a twist to Tomasz's News At One forecast looking foward to this Wednesday-- Tomasz introduced that segment of the forecast with an adorable sigh. Don't you just want to give him a big hug? Especially after dramatically gesticulating that rain would be "pulsating from the south". Always nice to see Tomasz pulsating [ooh]

Today's clip is from 13:57 today:

I can confirm there was very sunny weather in Nottingham at 4pm, in fact mid-morning onwards-- very pleasant. Looks decent weather for Goose Fair this year. Maybe His Loveliness may pay it a visit, it be amazing to ride the Big Dipper with him.

Today's weather and Goose Fair are not as pleasant as Tomasz's smile at the end of that, I go all goeey inside when he does that.

Not looking dreadful

2010-10-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

The weather may be "dreadful" across the British Islands today, but Tomasz certainly does not look dreadful-- far from it! He can always be relied on, to brighten up the dreariest of days (especially if you live in Gwynedd and Ceredigion), even if his biceps scoop up more rain from the south-west. Least we got a cute chuckle and smile at the end.

Now as our Terratec comments, does Tomasz appearing at midday (after a break of a few days), mean that we will get a long-awaited Country Tracks appearance this Sunday? We can but hope.

Wish I were there

2010-09-27T10:31:00.001-07:00

The Schaf was on Janice Long in the early hours of this morning, Janice had a good chat with the "seasoned traveller".

First Tomasz told us about his visit to Dubai; all skyscrapers, posh hotels and desert. He went down to the beach one day, and it was "scorchio" {i}; it would be if Tomasz was lying on his towel in his Speedos, but he was referring to temperatures of ~44C.

Poor Tomasz had gone down the beech without footwear-- he felt like an "idiot" because he was hopping around on the hot sand! The Schaf could never look like an idiot. Janice enquired as to whether he had "barbie feet": I'm not sure this was in a barbeque-- or Barbie doll {ii}! A delightfully quaint expression from the Long'un.

He also went to an Arabian camp, sounds fun. Even with my distaste for warm weather, I would go into the desert with Tomasz and a tent, and I'd put it for him. His Loveliness also rode on a jumbo out in the Far East, one of those double-decker airbusses no less.

After informing us about the weather, he told a tale of his soujourn in Paris. After his bike ride to Paris, he lost his rucksack (containing his best T-shirt and music player) in the X-ray machine for the Eurostar. Once aboard said train, he remembered, but it was too late [cue sinister].

Worry not dear readers, because The Schaf is cunning. Since French customer-service is almost as good as it is in the UK, you apparently cannot phone or email the lost-property-- only write to it! So our man did just that, he went to the lost property in Garde du Nord-- and was re-united with his lost property-- hurrah!

He was most upset about his t-shirt. It may be scruffy, but I imagine Tomasz looks a beau mec in it. I'd like to explore some exotic places with Tomasz, out of curiosity.

For the full interview, fast-foward to 1:14:08 in the next six days only.

Meanwhile, a treat on Outtake TV last Saturday for those who round on Tomasz for making mistakes and wonder why he hasn't been sacked: One or two clips of a certain forecaster making gaffes and facetiously reacting to them... step foward Alex Deakin! Another weather forecaster makes gaffes as well, blimey-- enough to make you splutter on one's copy of the Daily Mail.

{i} As for "scorchio", recalls the great days of Paola Fisch. Ah thethetheh Chris Waddle sminky-pinky thalia-he thalia-ha, Bhoutrus Bhoutrus Ghali...

Fast-foward to 2:40

{ii} New Barbie coming out soon. Barbie has a plush penthouse, sports car and expensive clothes. Ken is scruffy, despondent and has no house of his own. Look out for "Divorce Barbie" soon!

Swelling for Dogger

2010-09-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Another treat for all you (would-be) mariners out there, as Tomasz was back on Radio 4 with The Shipping Forecast. Isn't there something soothing and re-assuring about The Schaf's voice? It has a magically and euphorically hyponotic quality for me; he could read the phonebook, and I'd be all ears.

Fast-foward to 1:20, in the next few days

On Radio 2, there have been adverts for the return of Weekend Wogan next Sunday; as Sir Terrence of Wogan reminds us, it's Children In Need {i} in a few weeks. I was thinking that we could petition Tomasz to a 2011 calendar, it would make a fortune for CIN! Perhaps we can suggest it on his Fbk page.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to have Tomasz against my bedroom wall in a different position twelve times a year.

Although if His Loveliness did have a foray into the world of modelling, he ought to watch himself... some strange characters haunt that scene....

{i} For the unintiated: It's an annual BBC telethon, usually the second Friday of November, been running since 1980. Terry Wogan has hosted it every time. The programme raises funds for disadvantaged children both in the UK and elsewhere.

The ever-sunny Tomasz

2010-09-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

I clearly spoke too soon yesterday, about the bromance. I managed to escape work for a five minutes at 10:25, to watch The Schaf on the News Channel. Simon McCoy proclaimed: "Now the weather, with the ever-sunny Tomasz Schafernaker". Tomasz was a little bemused by that, but replied:
"I don't how to answer that; the ever-bright Simon McCoy, I suppose. Nothing sunny about the weather though..."

He's a little tinker that McCoy fellow, trying to bait Tomasz-- I sensed some tension-- even bromances don't run smoothly eh? Luckily Simone did afford His Loveliness the correct respect earlier in the day.

Tomasz appears to have had a haircut, it looks wonderful! Nicely styled if I may say so, I just love his hair-colour. Perks me up even more than a stark northerly breeze from across Norskehavet (alright then, the North Sea)

Thanks to Terratec, for the video upload.

Raindrops on his ball

2010-09-23T11:28:00.000-07:00

A small bit of self-aggrandisement to start of with-- my 200th post on this blog! The Schaf is so excellent, he has given us plenty of material in the past 12 months-- long may he continue to do so.

I'm also pleased for another reason, today marks the first day of autumn (for those in the northern hemisphere anyway) with the equinox being in the wee hours of this morning, UK time. I love this time of year: Cool nights, mild (but fresh) days, the absence of flies/wasps/nettles and the glorious colours of the season. Speaking of glorious colours, the pink tie made an outing today...

I note since the Middle Finger incident, the bromance between Tomasz and Simone has abated. Shame in a way, but we don't want Tomasz getting into trouble again!

Thanks to Terratec for the video upload.

The good ship Tomasz

2010-09-20T11:53:00.000-07:00

Tomasz was busy beaming across the airwaves on Saturday. He treated us to his warm tones on Radio 4, with the Shipping Forecast. Fast-foward to a minute in.

Not only that, but he supplied forecasts for Radio 2 and local radio. Was Tomasz on your local BBC radio station (say BBC Devon/Devil)? Any amusing banter? Thank you to my kind Canadian correspondent, who informs me that he was on BBC World too-- The Schaf appears to gathering quite a following in Canada. Rightly so, since it's such a wonderful country...

Some sadder news though. It's been four months since the Petal video (click here for a reminder), yet people are still giving Tomasz (and Simone) grief for it!

The criticism is that Tomasz is taking himself serious, being queeny and "needs to get over himself" (Simon is also criticised for initiating the banter). Simon was just being daft calling Tomasz petal, Tomasz clearly took it as meant; he laughed and was grinning, when he being 'precious'.

To me Tomasz was being facetious and ironic in his 'outrage', perhaps the chips on some people's shoulders obscure their vision/hearing? Or they just want to take a swipe at Tomasz, because he's so well-liked? Or perhaps we've become so politically-correct as a nation, 'we' can't (or refuse to) recognise the humour in such things; sadly preferring to indignantly take offence, or be righteous, instead?

Surely I can't be the only one to see it the petal thing was a joke and just badinage? I am right in thinking these critics are the ones that need to "get over themselves" and lighten up?...

Stunning stubble

2010-09-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

Not so much Tomasz today; as you may have heard, the UK is receiving a papal visit. No doubt he'll be preaching against alternative sexualities, ironic considering he wears a dress most of the time. I love the Popemobile, he's encased in six inches of bullet-proof glass-- there's faith for you.

Anway enough His Holy Farter {i}, we're here to worship Tomasz. I notice His Loveliness has been cultivating an impressive layer of stubble over the past couple of days, very prominent today-- it must be like the sweetest sandpaper. Certainly looked a treat on the telly at work...

Thanks to Terratec for that^

Also thanks to a very eagle-eyed reader, who sent me this newspaper article from Die Welt (Germany's foremost newspaper). A very youthful-looking Tomasz, and plumper (I don't mean that a nasty way, Tomasz). I don't know about you, but I think he's got loads better with age, I love his more chiselled looks these days!

Here we go... Tomasz and his "Stinkefinger"

I hope Tomasz isn't too embarrased by that photo! I think he's even nicer now...

{i} Copyright Officer Crabtree

By jove!

2010-09-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm always perked up by northerly winds, but Tomasz did so even more with his 10:56 forecast. He opened it with a groovy bit of 1970s disco-dancing, to highlight his summary caption. I think his pink tie brings out the flamboyance in The Schaf, with his talk of "collllllllld air".

Interestingly Leeds got several mentions. I'm sure they'll be pleased down The Headrow (or if you're from West Yorksire, "Theddraw").

I'm told by a spy, that Louise Minchin threw Tomasz a curved ball over a story preceding Tomasz's weather forecast-- which gave The Schaf a hearty chortle. Anybody got any more details on this? I believe L Minch said: "Here's Tomasz with the weather, and it's getting colder now, isn't it?". Tomasz's reply was: "Yes it's September, that's what usually happens".

Finally, many thanks for the supportive comments on my dream (both literal and metaphorical) of getting Ken Dodd a Christmas #1 with Happiness. For all you fans of Doddy, a medley for you...

What's in a name?

2010-09-14T11:08:00.000-07:00

An amusing forecast from His Loveliness, as he was introduced via caption as "Presenter Name" on the 13:56 bulletin. The tanfastic Tomasz had to introduce himself in his typically charming manner...

I think yesterday I may have tempted Tomasz into a minor slip-up today, since he confused a certain nation with Wales... ooh they'll be getting the wicker-man out again [haha]. At least we got *the smile* at the end.

Speaking of The Divine One's name, he gets a special mention in Viz this month (out in the shop in the next few days). Of course it would be overly pedantic to point out that Tomasz's surname is Austrian, rather than Polish-- so I won't.

This again raises the question of what Schafnernaker means? Given it's not a standard German-language word, it's Austrian in the sense of Austrian dialect. Schaf(e) is German for sheep, and Schäfer is shepherd-- but what of "naker"? I know "nack" is naked in standard German-- so perhaps 'sheep-nakeder'-- that is sheep-shearer?

Answers on a postcard. Or via the comments section below, will suffice.

Danke schön

Tomasz of Arabia

2010-09-13T12:07:00.001-07:00

I'm pleased to say a tanned Tomasz has returned from his travels, shocked a little by the dipping temperatures of the last few days of summer here {i}. At least Simone didn't give him a hard time this morning...

Blustery was the watch-word of the day, with Tomasz tantalising flex his biceps to demonstrate gusty winds. Although his graphics let him down on News At One, unfortunately when he was about to talk about his favourite nation of the British Islands... perhaps it's a London-centric BBC conspiracy [wink]?

Back to the clip above, Tomasz cutely asks why we need him! Well duh... he's funny, gorgeous, entertaining, charismatic, educational and an all round great guy-- that's for starters. Sadly though, there are some people who vehemently disagree. To such an extent, this 'gentleman' has dedicated three Youtube videos, on why Tomasz should get sacked-- here's one of them-- so bad it's good...

Yes, you heard it right! He's made four or five gaffes-- ye gods! Out of all the hundreds of flawless weather forecasts he's done over the years, many of which are viewable on this site. Does he mess up anymore than his colleagues do? I don't think so: It's just that when The Schaf does mess up, he does it with style!

And that's the point: If Tomasz were a brain-surgeon, worked in a nuclear reactor or air-traffic-control-- I may understand the grave concern. What harm do Tomasz's occasional slip-ups do, he still gives us the weather forecast (even with the giggles). He gives us a laugh, as the overwhelming supportive comments on his blog/Facebook/Twitter show regarding the middle-finger incident-- despite his gaffes he won a TRIC award this year.

Perhaps that's the issue, that Tomasz's success breeds jealously and selective amnesia in the insecure, and they want everyone to be as dull and humourless as they are. Or maybe Mr Fericitchannel has just had a loss of perspective...

In the world we have humanitarian crises, dubious political regimes, social injustices, maltreatment of animals, environmental problems and so on. Yet our high-minded Youtube friend is getting exercised about a harmless and lovely weatherman who infrequently makes the occasional silly, but inconsequential, mistake (as we all do)-- who gives many people pleasure {ii}

Now this month marks the first anniversary blog. So as a nice 1st brithday present to Tomasz, perhaps my wonderful band of loyal band of Schaffanatics could leave some helpful comments on the offending video... it will also explain to Tomasz why we adore him and need him.

{i} In terms of meteorology, autumn starts on the September the 1st for statistical neatness. Astronomically it starts on September 23rd-- so know you know.
{ii} In so many ways!

Sheikh, rattle and roll

2010-09-10T13:35:00.000-07:00

Czeszcz! As you may be aware Tomasz has been away from our screens, to indulge in some globetrotting: Last time I posted, our hero was in Poland, being stalked by bears. This week sees him in Dubai. The other day he was sharing this candelit sunset with us...

On Wednesday he visited Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world 2717feet, 828m at 160 floors. It would be very puerile of me to make an erection comment, so I won't.

Update:
Tomasz informed us he was "riding a camel" yesterday. Wonder what Ken & Kenneth would make of that? Lucky camel I say-- no wonder the camel looks pleased...

Meanwhile one of my regular readers Matt Smith did a BBC Tour of Television Centre (Murphy's Law meant Tomasz wasn't there), but Liam Dutton kindly chatted with Mr Smith. Some interesting factoids our Matt reports:

The weather centre corridor has pictures off all the weather presenters along both sides of the wall. Tomasz is the first you come to. Rightly so! He's an award-winner, dontchakno.

There are 2 weather studios-- one with a blue screen, the other green. Blue and Green are used as the colours for the screen because they are the colours furthest away from skin colour...that's why red and yellow aren't used.

A presenter can have up to five people talking in his/hers earpiece-- no wonder Tomasz gets distracted!

The weather presenter will only be told seconds before going on air for a live broadcast whether they will be doing a 30 sec or 2:30 long forecast.

Between half hourly forecasts, the presenters pre-record, edit, do the graphics for BBC World weather (a camera in weather studio showed Susan Powell not just presenting but going back to computers to re-edit).

There are no camera personnel in weather studio. Because of this, the camera automatically adjusts to the correct height to correspond with the height of the presenter.

BBC do not like to call them presenters but broadcast meteorologists.

Viewer figures can go above 3 million for BBC World forecasts.

Some News Channel Info:

News readers are now all called journalists.

The scene behind the newsdesk on the wall is a animation. The looped recording of a
newsroom that featured behind the news desk was removed when Moira Stewart was reading the news and she also appeared behind on the wall!

News readers/journalists on news channel write 80% of their own material themselves (ahhh there is use for that pen)

BBC unlike other news organisations, wait until they get clarification that a breaking story is accurate. Sky News' claim that they are 'first for breaking news' does not necessarily mean they are the most valid.

There are usually no camera crew behind cameras in newsroom

Some misc tidbits for you...

TVC will move to Broadcasting House before 2012 olympics.

The TVC is shaped like a question mark to get maximujm office space in the segment of land provided (like a pizza-slice shape)

The fountain in the middle of TVC was turned off because it sprayed water everywhere and sounded like Niagara Falls.

Jennifer Lopez is only celebrity banned from TVC after her diva-like behaviour (asking to have dressing room completely redecorated and asking BBC staff to fill a bag full of kittens). If BBC want to work with her, they fly to US. BBC asked her to pay for redecorating, not us!

BBC have to make sure Elton John has sugar-free biscuits in dressing room, which can only be purchased from Harrods. Paul McCartney will not stay in a room with animal products in. There was also some upset with Mariah Carey, because she brought over 10 people with her: PA, 4 make up people, 2 life coaches and a few others!

Ucieczka do Polski

2010-09-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

Przepraszam for not updating the blog recently. Over Bank Holiday Monday I was busy: I mounted The Wrekin, went along Wenlock Edge, took myself up the Long Mynd via Brown Clee and finished up circumnavigating The Stiperstones. None of which are euphemisms, rather various peaks in the Shropshire Hills.

Anyway enough of my drivel, Tomasz last appearance was on the News Channel over the weekend. After that, The Schaf has returned to his hometown. However upon Tomasz's journey, there was a sign! I'm not sure what it's a sign for though. I'll let the good man himself explain...

Had a slightly scary landing at Gdańsk Airport. A few mins before landing, I think the aircraft was 'struck' by lightning. Sitting by the window overlooking the wing, saw bright zigzag lightning bolt flicker through the wing and past the engine-- almost past my face!

That close I kid you not! Never seen anything like it and yet I've landed in storms in Miami. I know planes should cope.Landed safely in downpour and spectacular regular lightning

Well I'm glad he's safe and well, and has arrived safely. Hope he enjoys his time there.

>>>
Update:

Another dicey situation for Tomasz:
[I am] enjoying my time in thundery Poland...went for a walk with friends and, apparently, nearly got ambushed by wild boar! LOL hilarious.

Some photos from Gdansk, courtesy of the His Loveliness...

Let's hope he has a safer time in Paris next week!

Splashing out

2010-08-27T12:09:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to my regular reader Dom, for uploading this from yesterday. Tomasz gives a vivid description of rain showers across The Solent. Of course being The Schaf, it takes on a whole new meaning, especially with the Max Headroom edit {i}

Coming and splashing as a result of Tomasz's arm movements and thrusting. I don't need to say anymore really, do I? Bardzo erotyczny.

Tomasz emerged from going south [...] to talk about weather elsewhere. Certainly it has been a beautiful day here in Notts, bright blue sky most the day and a fresh breeze-- lovely-- not a shower to be had. Although Tomasz was keen to impress that the mud wasn't going anywhere, nice hand gesture for that... not as good as his the stars are coming out out gesture. Gentle soothing voice at the end....

Thanks to Terratec^

At the end of the News At One, it was Jane Hill that reminded Tomasz he had finished on "a positive note", said with a knowing smile-- at which Tomasz laughed. Could that be an oblique reference to yesterday's blog?

{i} He's gone quiet as well.

Staying damp

2010-08-26T11:36:00.000-07:00

Tomasz was back on telly today, and his caption said: "Staying damp", perhaps appropriate for many a devoted Schaffanatic. Or at least that's what it ought to have said...

I can only imagine Tomasz's caption writer is so excited by Tomasz's chuckle at the beginning, (s)he had a case of sausage fingers.

At the end of the News At One forecast, Tomasz wanted to "end on a positive note". His mere presence is a positive note of course, especially when he talks of showers "flirting" with us us, or the rain "coming and coming and splashing". And is it me, or does his suit struggle to contain his biceps these days?

Meanwhile Alex Deakin answered an oft-posed question, why do weather presenters wear casuals for Countryfile and Country Tracks? According to Deaks, is "to be down with farmers"! It appears that Janice {i} appreciated Alex's black jeans too. Of course when Tomasz wears jeans, a whole swathe of discerning gentlemen appreciate it-- some of which may be farmers.

01:13:22

Alex Deakin then informed us that his intials are ARD. I'll leave you to make your own jokes. Meanwhile will Tomasz make an appearance on Country Tracks?

Finally it's not just our Tomasz not has on-air mishaps on BBC News, Louise Minchin got all in a fluster over a.... dropped pen.

Thanks to Terratec and Toptellyfan for the uploads

{i} Not a farmer, as far as I'm aware.

Up all night

2010-08-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had interesting tip-off today. I found out that Tomasz also appeared on Radio Five Live's Up All Night. Presenter Dotun Adebayo teased Tomasz: The weather followed the newspaper review, and Dotun commented that he couldn't find anything about Tomasz in that day's paper!

I like the thought of Tomasz having his wrists slapped, and anything else he wants. I'm sure he's always been a very "good boy" in many a person's eyes.
03:26:24

Here is on Moday morning as well...
Fast-foward to 03:27:42

Well he has the power to keep me up all night. Er well.. his forecasts are always entertaining, aren't they? Yes.

Meanwhile Tomasz is concerned about the strong winds today, on Twitter he expressed concern that it is ripping banana tree to bits. Oh dear... although I don't think Tomasz has anything to worry about in the banana department. Perhaps he was tempting fate on Janice Long, talking about glorious weather in SE England.

Up my way it was a beautiful day! By jove, sound like Ken Dodd then. Speaking of which I had a weird dream about him the other night: Since Simon Cowell is so determined to get a Christmas Number 1 this year, people set up a Facebook group to thwart him-- by re-releasing Ken Dodd's Happiness-- and it worked! Wouldn't it be great if it came true, a truly festive and jolly song for Christmas instead of Cowell-oke dirge {i}

As much as I like Doddy, dreams about Tomasz are so much sweeter. Two 'campaigns' are afoot on Tomasz's Facebook page. A minor one to get Tomasz to do a calendar... they better make it wipe-clean though; well I don't want to spoil it, by spilling tea on it.

A more popular suggestion, is to get Tomasz to be on Strictly Come Dancing this year. I'd be flat out on this blog, if he did that-- and I don't know the first thing about dancing. It would be great to see Tomasz gyrate in spandex. Not sure if the BBC's wooly mammoth of light-entertainment, Bruce Forsyth, would appreciate that though.

Fast-foward to 5:10, to see how Tomasz can throw some shapes...

He knows all the right mmoves. He's just so se....se... [wanders off for a lie down]

{i} Go on, since you asked....

After The Beatles and Rolling Stones, he was the biggest-selling singer of the 1960s! It would be great to get him in the charts... and annoy Simon Cowell too.

A Long chat

2010-08-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

Radio 2 fans were blessed last night, as His Loveliness had a lengthy chat with the wonderful Janice Long. It was proof, if any were needed, that Tomasz is not a "diva", but actually down-to-earth and modest.

A very comprehensive six minute chat. First he and Janice shared their humorous outrage at London cinema prices, Tomasz lamenting that a couple can easily spend £50 in one sitting, if one includes popcorn and drinks. "London has always been a rip-off, what can you do", as The Schaf commented.

The Tomasz's voice went strange, almost as if he'd been entered by Frankie Howerd (so to speak), which triggered giggles in him. Luckily he composed himself, before warning us of "Noah's Ark weather" to come-- a new one for The Schaf vernacular! What I want to know is, why did Noah let those two wasps on that ark? He also said it would be "a kaleidoscope of weather", and the rain could block the gutters-- that's my blog washed away then [haha]

Tomasz then commented that despite August, this summer (and late spring) had been very warm and dry; but was gracious enough to admit that was mostly south-east England, "us down here" as he wryly put it. To be fair in Notts we had a scorching April-July, and we had little (although I live in a rain-shadow area anyway).

Then Janice then asked Tomasz if he had badge for jumping into a swimming pool, to 'save' some one for a life-savers badge. He needn't worry about the trousers if he had to rescue me, the sight of that would make me recover pretty darn quick!

The Divine One then explained he was most proud of the medal he obtained for riding from London to Paris-- rightly so-- incredible achievement for charity. He modestly chuckled he was more proud of that than his degree!

You can listen to the full interview here, available for the next six days:
Fast foward to 1:14:23

Have a listen, you know you want to...

Message to Tomasz: When you were doing the World News, your smile when mentioning locales in Canada, was much appreciated by your Canadian following! They have good taste there... although we already know that [thumbs up]

Finally the Daily Mail and Daily Telegraph ought to correct there websites. Tomasz's quote was: "Gallery over to you", not "Gary over to you". Always helpful to get the facts right, if you're going to a character-assassination [wink]

Speaking of which, I've just recalled this classic from Jo Malin, formerly of Central News West. She was out in Trentham Gardens with Bob Warman (yes he's still going), when she meant to say "pouring with rain"... except she didn't...

Ahoy Tomasz

2010-08-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

The Schaf undertook that great BBC Radio 4 institution this morning, the Shipping Forecast. It is pure poetry at the best of times {i}, but Tomasz's soothing voice, it takes on a whole different dimension. He's even gorgeous on the wireless too-- they do say the best pictures are on the radio.

Here he is, six days left to listen. Fast-foward to 01:06. I'm sure Tomasz is an expert in rising, backing and swelling-- as well as commanding the attention of sea men. I certainly "fall" for him, listening to him.

So no Tomasz today on Country Tracks, that honour fell to the endearing "wee" Matt Taylor. I know he has his fans out there; so since his fanblog has been discontinued, a treat...

This evening it was the dashing Alex Deakin for Countryfile, looking trim in his casuals-- giving some competition to Tomasz in the jeans department too! Here he is dishy Deakin this week, a slip-up with "Tuesday's chart"-- see it's not just Tomasz!

Of course not even the resplendent Alex (or Matt) can compare to Tomasz, who is naturally in a league of his own. God-like almost...

Will The Divine One made a long-overdue appearance with Janice Long in the early hours of tomorrow-- I hope so!

Many thanks to Terratec for the uploads. I love the way so many people are still flocking to Tomasz's support on Facebook, rightly so! He's a truly amazing person

{i} Even the name Dogger Bank. That sort of thing doesn't go on in
Radcliffe-on-Trent HSBC, I can tell you.

Staying out of trouble

2010-08-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

A nice message from The Divine One on Facebook today {iii}:

Hi everyone, I'm at the Weather Centre this weekend. A lot of mixed weather coming for us folks here in the UK over the next few days...Monday washout on the way! Have a good rest of the weekend wherever you may be and keep out of trouble...I know I will! ;)

Luckily for Tomasz, he's mostly on radio over the next two days-- so chance of getting into trouble for unfortunate gestures. I'm sure my Canadian readers (and those elsewhere overseas), will be pleased to know The Schaf is on the World News overnight!

As for the rest, the Jet Stream is not where it should be over the UK-- so we're experiencing torrential rain-showers at present! Then again the UK did experience a very dry January-June, so we need the water in some ways.

Yesterday I saw this letter in our publication of the week, Metro:

Tomasz isn't British-born, so we'll let him off [wink] Although you can't beat a good old Anglo-Saxon salute-- Tomasz was too kind to Simone-- he got off lightly with just one finger (so to speak).

Sadly criticism of Tomasz elsewhere hasn't been so jovial {i}. A common dig at Tomasz, is that he supposedly makes more mistakes than other forecasters on the BBC

I've seen all the other forecasters slip up on occasion as well-- perfectly understandable given they have no autocue and it's live television-- and they're human after all.

The difference is that Tomasz endearingly highlights his mistakes, often to humourous effect-- especially since he does brilliant job otherwise. Of course Terratec very kindly uploads one of Tomasz's forecasts each day for this blog, so it's natural we pick the one where Tomasz makes a cute gaffe-- thus it's on Youtbue for all to see (whereas his other colleagues don't get such scrunity!) {ii}

That said there are plenty of days where Tomasz presents flawless broadcasts, thus the majority of clips of Tomasz don't show him making errors. However his insecure and jealous detractors choose to ignore those, to indulge in bitchy schadenfreude--selective memory and all that.

Also I've noticed a few people wiseacres on the net calling him "ditsy", "dumb as fuck" and other things along those lines. I would say he is bubbly, giggly and has the grace to laugh at himself-- he's by no means an airhead. For a start he has a degree in meterology (further studies thence too), something which requires a lot of intelligence. He also speaks two languages fluently (possibly more than two?). He is also a very talented artist, gardener and photographer.

Let's not forget he also has to predict the weather from complex weather charts, and then condense that information into a one-minute broadcast: He does this without dumbing down, but being engaging at the same time. And if you listen to any of his Janice Long chats, he's knowledgeable about other things and has a very quick wit-- plus self-aware too.

So far from being "dumb" or "ditzy" I say. People who call him that, are probably the same towering intellects who think Tomasz having a "strop"/being a "diva" with Simon over the petal comment. So clever in fact, they cannot see Tomasz was being ironic in his response, hence his wry smile and chuckling!

The best are those who say: "Never heard of him". And folk on the Points Of View website, who call him a "bad boy". That's a bit like calling Lorraine Kelly a yobbo! Although as one correspondent on said board points out, "[it's nothing] compared to the Swiss weatherman Joerg Kachelmann who is (or was?) very popular in Germany. He's been charged of rape and awaits a trial next month". One way of looking at things I suppose.

And we have the people who say he's always attention/publicity seeking-- as if his gaffes are deliberate. This middle-finger thing was an accident FFS. Anyway he is on telly, and the point of being a TV presenter is that you are watched (or in thr case of radio, listened to)-- duh. To Tired x3 who criticises him (on his own blog) for having an agent, why shouldn't he-- or use it to futher his fame? He's popular, get over it. Besides other BBC news presenters have other gigs beyond the news, Fiona Bruce does Anitques Roadshaw for instance. Carol Kirkwood does stints on The One Show

They may have a case with Attitude, but he's not different to any other person who has posed for them. If Attitude is willing to pay for him to tell us about his fitness regime, and he's willing to get his clothes off and get paid for it-- then why not?

Then again when insecure/jealous people (or Daily Mail types) observe somebody as gorgeous, popular and clever as Tomasz; I suppose the natural reaction is to hit out at him, makes them feel better I guess. Sad really. I say Tomasz is a force of good in the world, try venting your anger on people who are actually excreable.

As for those seven people who complained to the BBC about that incident, they'll get their fearsome come-uppance I'm sure [wink]

As the wonderful Ian Hyland says: "There's no stopping Tomasz now!". Look out the window to see the weather? I'd rather look at Tomasz. I can't think why he's got a large gay following though [wink]

{i} Especially on one message board, which obliquely insulted this very blog. I like to think Tomasz's gesture was aimed at them aswell.
{ii} To be fair some of the bloopers aren't his fault
{iii} Still great to see those messages of support on Fbk for him-- good on you!

Murphy's Law

2010-08-19T13:44:00.000-07:00

Tomasz was back on telly today, making me question my mental health: When he was talking about pumping and humdity, I got rather too excited. Then again Tomasz saying just about anything has that effect on me, especially when he's got something pulsing in my direction...

Don't worry we knew what you meant with your "ridge" Tomasz. It's a good job Tomasz didn't start talking about googlies, when it came to cricket (The Oval). I'm not interested in the game, although I wouldn't mind a toss at Stuart Broad's middle-stump. That's cricket terminology. Apparently.

Meanwhile in our favourite rag's letters page:

I had worried that the Angry of Mayfair brigade may have kicked off, but thankfully His Loveliness has just stolen more hearts (well perhaps not north of Argyll & Bute), and rightly so.

Quoth the good man himself at Twitter: "I'm looking forward to my day off tomorrow after a week of Murphy's Law". Hope you have a good'un Tomasz, see you... well hear you... back on the radio for the weekend. A Janice Long appointment on Monday morning we hope?!

Very silly season

2010-08-18T12:56:00.000-07:00

The News At One finished with a story about a stunt pilot, whose plane's wing fell off mid-flight. Thankfully the pilot escaped via parachute, and unharmed. "A lucky man" commented Sophie Raworth, before handing over to Tomasz! {iv}

Lucky indeed... I'm pleased he was back today and phlegmatic as ever. I'm also so heartened to see so many people posting so many supportive and forgiving posts on his Facebook profile, Twitter and elsewhere (including mardy papers' websites). Thankfully any Angry Of Mayfair comments have been extremely rare... if anything it's boosted his popularity! {iii}

I extend a big thanks to readers of this blog, who have rallied round Tomasz to give him supportive words on said outlets. Thumbs up to all of you.

Also it appears that his the story has gone worldwide-- you can tell it's silly-season! To be fair Tomasz, he does get global exposure: Metaphorically on the BBC World News and literally with numerous repostings of his Attitude shoot on the world-wide web! I know from the stats I get for this blog, I have traffic from all over the world; not just the UK, Poland and Canada. I think the incident will seal his status as international legend-- rightly so.

Sadly some people aren't impressed, are rather keen to shit-stir. Worst offender in my view, was today's Metro: "The outlook for this weatherman is bleak", with picture caption stating: "Mr Schafernaker can expect a frosty recpetion at work today". Laugh, I almost did.

This article is so crap it's good...

Below that was outrage about clothes GMTV presenters wear. Ye gods. Tomasz accidentally swearing on-air, an outrageous affront; Third World daily death-toll a mere statistic, it would appear.

Amusingly the BBC has put the video on its own Youtube channel, so perhaps they've finally seen the lighter side of it too {ii}. As I mentioned earlier, he was on the telly today, impeccably behaved... as was friend Simon McCoy. I wonder what he was referring to at the beginning of this [LOL], Murphy's law et al.

I'm sure many a reader wouldn't mind being given a finger by Tomasz. Oof, did I really just type that? 1609 visitors for yesterday, probably the record for my 11 months doing this!

By popular request...

Now that Tomasz is a true global star {i}, I hope my blog can do him justice still! Thanks to Terratec for the video upload, by the way

{i} Well he was mentioned on the Wright Stuff, after all
{ii} It does air Eastenders several times a week!
{iii} Denise Welsh mouthed a four-letter insult, Coleen called someone a "slag" and Lynda Bellingham once said "bollocks"-- all on Loose Women. Those ladies are still on it, as is the show... even with Joan Rivers's best attempt to derail it with her Russell Crowe comment.
{iv} I blame Emma Jesson, with her numerous appearances on TV's Naughiest Blunders. Bye-bye!

Hello, good evening and bollo...

2010-08-17T11:43:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I got a lot of texts and emails about The Schaf today! In case you're wondering what I'm driving at, a hint...

Granted it certainly wasn't a professional thing to do... yeah and somebody of his calibre ought to know better with his experience of live telly, I can see why people may take issue with this particular incident.

However I did find the incident amusing {ii}, especially in the context of his and Simone's banter. As Tomasz once commented to Jane Hill, there's always banter between him and Simone-- "but no hard feelings". This was clearly an accident, and poor Tomasz looked mortified when the camera cut to him mid-gesture! He did try to valiantly cover his tracks by feigning scratching his chin, alas too late.

Given that Tomasz is a popular presenter (TRIC award, cult following, dozens of visitors daily to my blog), it's inenvitable that a backlash will thence occur-- no doubt aided and abetted with glee by sundry insecure fire-and-brimstone types out there. Especially since Tomasz previous gaffes have been stuff of legend (with or without my help), some shit-stirring journo or green-eyed Angry of Mayfair can easily Google up his pass 'transgression'

I wouldn't condone what he did, but he's not the first (and won't be the last) to something like that. Anthony H Wilson unwittingly had a foul-mouth rant live on Granada Reports, and went to successfully present for BBC NW/Manchester. I can think of three Loose Women presenters who've sworn live on said show, and they continue on the programme-- and LW continues to be a success.

I wonder if the lesser known weather-presenters would have been subjected to this hysteria-- I think they can (and probably do?) get away it more. I do concede he shouldn't get away scot-free with this, but I hope he doesn't get draconinian treatment for it . He looked genuinely mortified when the camera cut to him, it was accident (albeit careless one) and he doesn't make a habit of it on-camera-- he's good at his job otherwise.

Predicatbly the Daily Wail, Daily Mirror, Daily Telegraph and Murdoch outlets are having a field day with his, not like them to let a bit of Beeb-bashing to pass them by. No doubt Dirty "new owner of Five" Desmond will gladly join in tomorrow, if he can find space between all the Diana conspiracy stories (she's still deceased by the way).

And of course the Daily Heil has already had a pathetic pop at Tomasz, when he posed for Attitude one of these stories where an "insider/source" (IE a journo making it up) bitched about him. Added to that, we know how the Daily Hate Mail likes to vindictive about men like Tomasz {i}

It is heartening to see that the comments on the story (on those papers' websites) have been largely forgiving. Isn't it weird how people got on their high horse and denigrated Tomasz for his harmless irony with the Petal incident with Simone, yet are fine with his flicking his middle finger at Simone? Beats me.

I really hope Beeb bosses aren't draconian with him: Last I looked, the incident just garnered just seven complaints with the Beeb-- and an Ofcom spokesman said no complaints had been filed. May I suggest a suitable punishment Beeb bosses? I'll come round and slap his legs. Or he should be forced to the weather naked

Of course there are worse presenters out there...

Tomasz did have some other incident-free broadcasts today, with his talk of "milky sunshine"-- I'm intrigued to know what he means about a "useable day" though? Here he is, in more uncontroversial territory (not sticking his middle finger up to Sc____nd). Mr Fish is Mr Steam eh?

{iii}

Ah well... I love Tomasz if nobody else does [haha]. Swearing live on-air aside, you are a breath of fresh air Tomasz, please don't change... nice to have a presenter with personality, and who doesn't patronise us. He certainly is cool!

PS: Official comment from the man himself

This morning, prior to a live weather bulletin, I made a gesture off camera joking with my fellow presenters and without warning the camera went live to the weather studio. I am very sorry for any offence that might have been caused by my actions.

No offence taken here chief. Since it's you Tomasz, I'll let you off.

{i} Readers overseas may want to Google "Stephen Gateley"+"Jan Moir"+"Dail Mail". Or not
{ii} He really ought have used to fingers instead of one, can't beat an Anglo-Saxon salute
{iii} Thanks to Terratec, least the swearing didn't offend you

Two big thank-yous

2010-08-16T12:15:00.000-07:00

As you may have gathered from the post-title, I have immense gratitude to two of my regular readers.

Firstly Matt has a done a sterling job in acquiring some screenshots from The Schaf's appearance on Tonight's The Night. So in Dear Deidre-style, a nice photo story...

1) Tomasz with John. Note matching Tomasz's tie matching John Barrowan's shirt-- a great double act in making here don't you think?

2) Tomasz meeting a shocked Sarah for the first time. Don't blame her, I'd be a gibbering wreck if I met Tomasz.

3) Tomasz explaining the task ahead to Sarah, I reckon he makes such a good teacher. I'd love a guiding hand from Tomasz {i}

4) Tomasz shows Sarah the gallery, the people Tomasz likes to tell to hush [wink]

5) Tomasz waiting in the wings as studio gets ready to link to Sarah in weather studio... if that doesn't encourage you, nothing will!

6) Tomasz clapping and jumping just after broadcast is finished. What a splendid way to praise somebody's perfomance

7) Not as good as getting a hug off the Divine One though.

8) Not only that Tomasz asking "how it went", and kindly reassuring Sarah Jane after her endeavour. What a man

Secondly an immense thank you goes to Terratec, for saving that as a video file. Hope this works alright...

And as if Terratec hasn't done enough, he has done this video of His Loveliness, who was on today (and for most this week) in his usual slot, over midday (rejoice!). Today saw Tomasz hiding from Simone-- can't say I blame The Schaf for doing that. Not to worry, since he's looking as fine as his weather charts.

So a huge thanks to both Matt and Terratec-- you're both stars!

{i} You know what I mean, behave.

Adventure of Sarah Jane

2010-08-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to say Tomasz was on Tonight's The Night this evening, and The Schaf was at his most adorable.

The lady to be surprised was called Sarah-Jane, a plucky second-year journalism student; who's increasingly hard-of-hearing and also cares for her mother. John Barrowman decided she was ripe for a pleasant surprise, and lay in wait whilst Sarah Jane did a tour of the BBC TVC.

The tour guide directed Sarah Jane and her party towards a Tardis. The ebullient JB jumped out of said phone-box and shocked everyone, not least because of the bright purple shirt he was wearing. He announced he was going to take her to be mentored by "weatherman of the year" (I cannot repeat that often enough!) {i}, so that she could broadcast live on the News Channel-- no pressure there then!

The Tardis duly beemed Sarah-Jane and John Barrowman to the BBC Weather Centre. John of course wasn't looking for a cyberman, but a weatherman... and The Schaf spoke from the studio monitors. Sarah-Jane was thus granted an audience with the great man.

Next we saw Sarah-Jane tentatively rehearsing her piece, but Tomasz was adorably encouraging and being a real star. How can you fail with Tomasz behind you? Then the big moment came, Sarah-Jane breezed it, inspite of her understandable nerves; Tomasz was watching her with her family, he was enthusiastically cheering her on.

After the broadcast, Tomasz swept in to congratulate her warmly-- and she got a hug! I hope Sarah-Jane realises how lucky she is, a hug off Tomasz is much coveted! It shows what a lovely bloke he is though. He even dressed up in a suit (he was off-duty that day, if I recall?) and even colour co-ordinated his tie with John's shirt.

I shall try to get the i-player link up as soon as possible, if you missed it. Unless some superb person is to upload it on the web of course. I'd say it's The Divine One at his most admirable and heart-warming: If only more people in the world could be as kind, sweet and benevolent as him? [Sigh] I salute you Tomasz.

{i}

Darn right too

Tomorrow night will be our night

2010-08-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

I've just checked the Tonight's The Night website, and I saw the following for this week's episode-- the bold text is of special importance!

John Barrowman makes more dreams come true for some very special people.
A dare-devil grandad, who has raised thousands of pounds for charity, wing-walks, while a hard-of-hearing student achieves her dream of presenting when she reads the weather on live TV.

An ex-soldier, who helps soldiers come to terms with life after the army, gives the performance of his life with the show's orchestra, and a teenager in constant pain gets a wonderful treat - duetting with singing star and Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon.

Plus which member of the studio audience deserves a song dedication?

As devotees of this blog will recall, our very own award-winning weather-presenter takes on the role of mentoring her, and John Barrowman's behest. Of course Tomasz being the charitable and amazing bloke he is, he complied. If I were the lady in question, I would exceptionally honoured to tutored by His Loveliness.

Another reason to watch, will be to witness the double-act of JB and Tomasz-- I have a strong feeling the two will get on like a house on fire. I reckon JB gave Tomasz an extra-special showbiz hug... well.. you just would, wouldn't you.

So 19:50 BBC1 tomorrow (Sat 14th Aug). Tissues at the ready! Well it could be quite emotional.

Meanwhile he was on overnight, warning us today's weather would be fitting for the curse of Friday 13th. Personally I don't believe in superstitions, they only bring bad luck. Not all unfortunate though: Our very shooting star talked of the amazing Perseids display, plus he was keen to emphasis calmer weather over Northern Ireland and Scotland (if that is deemed patronising by the Scots).

Sadly I don't have the technological capabilites to upload Tomasz's stint on Tonight's The Night, but I'll see what I can do for those who can't BBC1. Can't have you missing such an evangellical moment!

Finally, for those who like Tomasz's friend Liam Dutton, he's done a photoshoot...
http://www.liamdutton.com/#/photo-gallery/4524317620