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12 Jul 2011

It'll be alright on the night

The Schaf is making his last-minute prep for the first episode of The Great British Weather tomorrow. That is BBC1 19:30 for those in the British Islands; although I have no doubt you have it indelibly etched into you diaries!

Tomasz has kindly uploaded a couple of sneaky-preview {i} pictures onto Facebook and Twitter. Firstly, Tomasz doing his John Craven tribute, with the bright-red waterproof coat {ii}...

And here's Tomasz in more chique wear, lookingly effortlessly attractive...


I'm sure Tomasz will wow everyone with these new programmes, and show us all what we've been missing.

Meanwhile, if you fancy a wry chuckle, one of Quentin Letts's dispatches. Mr Letts is a columnist for the Daily Mail: So you may expect him to write of matters of grave national importance, political machinations, corruption in public life and so on. So what did he get indignant about last week? He whinges:"Windbags! Why can't TV weathermen cut out their self-indulgent prattle", without checking his mirror first.

Firstly Mr Letts shoots himself in the foot, by falling into the trap of prattle himself: "Forecasters could not appear superior boffins. They had to be popularised, made one with the lowest common denominator". He makes the all-too-frequent error of thinking the lowest common denominator is a bad thing. See here

Inevitably he mentions The Schaf: "Now we have the likes of Tomasz Schafernaker, posing topless in a gay magazine in his spare time". So what if he did, what's it got to do with his abilities as broadcast meteorlogist? This leaving aside the fact that Tomasz left the of BBC weather forecasts months ago, so Mr Letts is a little off the mark with "now".

Still he can always pick on the undeserving Chris Fawkes, who disgraces himself by having interests outside of work, mostly... wait for it... sports. Apparently parachuting is particularly objectionable; Mr Letts then clamours "nurse" {iv} and wishes to cut Chris's parachute strings. I think the nurse needs to visit Mr Letts first, if the anodyne Chris Fawkes inspires thoughts of murder in QL.

Then there's the unfortunate Alex Deakin who is a "pingy and zingy keep-fit type". What do these forecasters think they are doing, looking after themselves, instead of breathing and living meteorology. It's enough to make you burn you Licence Fee isn't it, and smash your telly up (BBC can ruddy well pay for the bill too).

Even worse Deaks has personality, a jovial one at that; poor Liam "dreadful windbag" Dutton was equally chastised by right-minded Feedback {iii} listeners, for much the same reason. Mr Letts goes one better, and then castigates weather presenters for ditching received pronunciation: "[It] has been replaced by a wittering Babel of regional accents, jagged Northern vowels, Fenland dipthongs, Estuarial glottal stops". It's not like the BBC should reflect the fact that it broadcasts to those outside the M25, or that only 5% of the British populace speak like Brian Sewell or Emma Thompson

Then of course chez Daily Wail, conformist austerity is the order of the day; cheeriness and individuality is to be condemned. Otherwise it may cause house-prices to collapse, which will make paedophiles give your lager-lout kids cancer. Or something.

{i} Antoin de Caune. He's gone quiet, hasn't he?
{ii} Rumour is, John is surgically attached to it.
{iii} A programme on Radio 4, where morally-upstanding radio listeners impart their views on BBC broadcasts, by impersonate Mrs Tembe from Doctors.
{iv} I feel Barry Cryer cringe from here

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