Douze points

So Eurovision is over for another year, congratulations to Azerbaijan {i}. The UK's middling entry got a middling position in the results. Everyone's favourite bequiffed Irish singing duo, Jedward {ii}, confounded many expectations by not winning. Their performance screamed EV-- plus their noterity is widespsread. Then again Dustin The Turkey is another infamous Irish cultural export, and noterity didn't work then.

Anyway what do I know, with my prehensile drivel? {iii}. For there is a new Eurovision guru in town. Forget memories of Sir Terrence and his tipsy tittle-tattle; or the nasal narration of Graham Norton, or even the gentle purr of Ken "one year oot" Bruce on Radio 2.

For we have The Schaf, and his Eurovision tweets. His comment on EV in general? "The excitement is truly euphoric! My head is literally in the Stratosphere. LOL ;)". He's taller than he looks.

If you missed EV, here's Tomasz's verdict thereon {iv}. A disclaimer from the man himself first though: "I'm sure I'll upset a few with rubbish commentary later on ;) LOL". Certainly some familiar phraseology hidden herein (sic, severally)...

> My fave in no particular order: Hungary, Azerbaijan, Russia...and of course UK and Poland (out).
> Yes, my Polish countrymen (ladies) didn't quite sing to tune the other night. Ah well.
> Well I guess Austria is OK
> Like Netherlands, catchy
> Slovakian barbie dolls...it's ok.
> Moldova! LOLOL. Moldova singers reminder me of mental Smurfs.
> Sweden, Thumbs down from me.
> Cyprus. Not for me.
> Well Bulgaria ain't terrible, average I'd say
> Only liked the first 5 seconds of Macedonia!
> Dana! This will be good! Lol Israel...Ding Dong say no more LOL. Good! {iv}
> I've been to Slovenia. Wonderful country.
> there's a lot of legs going on in this Eurovision. Starting with Poland the other day...
> Romania classic lol. It's ok. He got his pants from Jack Black the pumpkin man or was it Beetlejuice!
> Is just me who isn't that keen on Estonia's entry. I see the London Eye behind!
> Latvia. I'm not singing along.
> What song does the Danish entry remind me of? WHAT THE...lol!
> Flamin heck!! #Jedward #eurovision LOL
> Finland: is it just me, or is it plain boring? Its just "ah thats nice" LOL. Thumbs down from me.
> BosniaH: not for me. Thank you LOL. Nice fireworks.
> Jedward Hair Denmark i like.
> Lithuania: its all just Fog Fog Fog. She's only 'just' in that dress LOL
> Hungary: like a storm. Blew me away. LOL ...but, why wasnt there more energy on the stage! No win me thinks.
> Jedward: BBQ SUMMER
> Sweden: WHAT A WASHOUT. like uk Weather.
> Estonia: DRIZZLE...or dribble.
> Greece: A bit unsettled LOL (cold front, warm front?...make ur mind up)
> FRANCE: ...in fact his hair looks like a birds nest? ;) Weather looks nice behind...shame about his hair LOL
> Russia: good job they got the letters the right way round.. electrifying lol
> GEORGIA: oh gawd. It's like forecasting snow...a NIGHTMARE.
> SERBIA: it's all isobars!! LOL. Multi colour!
> UKRAINE: she'll take off into the stratosphere with those shoulderpads.
> SPAIN: like a breeze. Quite liked it.
> ICELAND: what a load of frozen balls! LOL Remind me not to shop in iceland LOL.
> SLOVENIA entry: lotsa warm fronts. Lost count.
> AUSTRIA: if it's not her head in the clouds it's certainly her legs lol..,where do They stop LOL
> ROMANIA entry: its like our like few summers in the UK...r
14 May
> GERMANY entry: off to nowheresville
> Moldova: MUDDY SHITE (sorry)
> AZERBAI'BOTTLE'OF'JAM: warm and sunny, thumbs up ;)
> UK: another BBQ SUMMER...im feeling.
> Switzerland Background: TVam weather? Or maybe 'Sunrise' on SKY? LOL
> ITALIANO: pianful...just like my forecasts that have gone wrong.
> AZERBAI'BOTTLE'OF'JAM: warm and sunny, thumbs up ;)
> I just Lost £10.Finger up to that!! *grunt*

I like the way Tomasz's updates got cheekier as the evening wore on, perhaps Tomasz was following Terry's Wogan's tradition, and having a little party. But then again The Schaf is down with the kids.



Of course there alternative ways of enjoying EV, as Mr Wogan explains, fast-foward to 2:10...



But back to Tomasz, he has a message for his Twitter followers: "Raising a toast to my 6000 followers...many thanks everyone! :)"

PS: Best of luck to Dan Corbett, who is leaving the BBC, and indeed the country! Off to forecast in New Zealand. I believe his last broadcast was on Five Live this morning. A great forecaster, who will be missed from our airwaves. Goodbye, for now...

{i} Clearly EV has the power to accelerate continental drift eastward. I expect Bangladesh to win next year
{ii} I'd miffed, I were Jonathan Grime-- his brother hogs all but one letter of their pormateau name
{iii} "The square root of nothing", you all say in unison
{iv} Hire him *now* as an EV commentator, Beeb! Well obviously not right now, the competition won't be around for another year.

A blue-lit land

A quiter day on The Schaf front: Partly because of today's Prime Minister's Questions, and the attendant student protests taking up much airtime on the News Channel. Least we still got his News At One slot: He informed us that there's a brief break from the freezing weather, as temperatures will climb up to around 7C by day (albeit frosty at night); however the colder weather will be back to chill us next week-- more snow too!

Thankfully we have Tomasz to reassure us. I'm mindful that Tomasz's Met Office contract expires (next month according to reports), I'm just hoping that the BBC realise what a talented and popular asset he is to the corporation; rescue him from a non-screen role, in which he would be wasted (in my view).

Tomasz is so multi-talented, creative and intelligent-- his potential is massive! Also as a punter, I can see he has such great rapport with other presenters. I just hope that BBC bigwigs may be able to create a bright and fulfilling 2011 for him.



I'm sure Tomasz will give it his all, what ever happens. Besides, BBC training has the potential to be so much fun, if Sir Terry's anecdote has anything to go by, confer 1:07:47

Swansong?

It appears Tomasz will be on for the 23rd and 24th of October, for the lunchtime shift! Please, please, please can there be a Country Tracks then: Although there's little chance of a short-sleeved rugby shirt during this cold snap, but it would be a treat to see Tomasz in *those* jeans, maybe the last time for a while.

The 25th and 26th will see Tomasz doing the overnight stint-- so Shipping Forecast and BBC World-- Canadian fans rejoice for the latter (or wherever else you international Schaffanatics may lurk)! Also Radio 2, so a chat with the classy Janice Long on the cards for the wee hours of Monday morning. He also may be on BBC radio station near you (BBC Devon is often a good bet)

The 28th and 29th has Tomasz on the News Channel/BBC News At One, plus Radio 4 after You & Yours. Let's hope these appaearances will remind the Met Office and the Beeb what a superlative chap His Loveliness is!

Rumour on Twittersphere is that Radio Five Live are coveting Tomasz to be their weatherman. I hope my mentioning of this rumour, helps it to come true... my spies tell me that Tomasz was approach to do Strictly Come Dancing this year!

I can't see Tomasz appearing on Britain's Got Diarrhoea (confer this month's Viz). Let's hope he can do something for Children In Need? Let's Sir Terrence on the case. Even if he doesn't, the latest Janet & John CD is available from www.charitygoods.com-- Clinging To The Wreckage.

In absence of Tomasz this week, a bedtime story for you...



I did have a nice picture of Tomasz, but a little box says the image upload gubbins, is unavailable at present [comedy harumph]

Swelling for Dogger

Another treat for all you (would-be) mariners out there, as Tomasz was back on Radio 4 with The Shipping Forecast. Isn't there something soothing and re-assuring about The Schaf's voice? It has a magically and euphorically hyponotic quality for me; he could read the phonebook, and I'd be all ears.

Fast-foward to 1:20, in the next few days

On Radio 2, there have been adverts for the return of Weekend Wogan next Sunday; as Sir Terrence of Wogan reminds us, it's Children In Need {i} in a few weeks. I was thinking that we could petition Tomasz to a 2011 calendar, it would make a fortune for CIN! Perhaps we can suggest it on his Fbk page.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to have Tomasz against my bedroom wall in a different position twelve times a year.




Although if His Loveliness did have a foray into the world of modelling, he ought to watch himself... some strange characters haunt that scene....



{i} For the unintiated: It's an annual BBC telethon, usually the second Friday of November, been running since 1980. Terry Wogan has hosted it every time. The programme raises funds for disadvantaged children both in the UK and elsewhere.

Arise the Schaffanatics!

Considering a certain photoshoot has caused a large swell... in visitor numbers... I think it's only right that I officially create a name, for those who would like to get on their knees and worship Tomasz.

So arise the "Schaffanatics"! Or "Schaffans" for short, I don't want to be risking RSI typing out the former all the time. Well we have TOGs for Terry Wogan and Noonatics for Peter Noone-- so why not Schaffanatics!

I've just about recovered from seeing that photoshoot, via rigorous bouts of self-discipline. Then up pops Tomasz on the News Channel, with a lovely layer of stubble and his benzene-ring tie accentuating his luscious pink lips. He provactively talked of "thermometers rocketing" over the next few days, but he conceded that it was "a bit an exaggeration"-- he underestimates the power of his photos in Attitude (or the gorgeous smile he does at the end of the following)



Speaking of which, I finally got my hands on a hard one today-- a copy of Attitude that is. A lovely interview with Tomasz about his fitness regime and his work at the Weather Centre, plus some bonus pictures!

I shall scan it for tomorrow. If I do them now, I'll be doing my impression of the Emley Moor Tower again!

Speaking of leching on the Internet, by popular request:



Paul Whitehouse and Mark Williams we salute you. I also salute Terratec365 for his hard work too

Heeeeeere's Tomasz

After Simon McCoy had introduced Tomasz for the weather at 10:58, there was a wait before the Weather God appeared. When he finally appeared, Tomasz humorously announced: "Here I am!". Fancy keeping us waiting for Tomasz, perhaps it's to build up suspense for event.

At midday Tomasz didn't pull it out today; but he was sporting his fetching stubble again (would give a lovely rash). He harked back to last night, when it was very windy outside: "I didn't get much sleep last night, it was very blowy"-- made the windows rattle apparently. I can imagine... oof, all sounds like something out of one of 'those' Janet & John stories {i}. Especially since Tomasz said there would be showers flirting about today, on News At One-- the tease.

At the end of 13:58 bulletin, he told us it will be a bit of a "chill" over the next few days. I think I'll need to, after all that!


^Thanks to Terratec365{ii}

{i} See Sir Terry Wogan snigger.
{ii} Congratulations to Terratec. He managed to squeeze in four sessions of Tomasz, within 10 minutes. Isn't he the lucky one?