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16 Jan 2010

Strictly Tomasz

The latest rumour on the internet is, that the BBC are angling to get The Schaf on the next series of Strictly Coming Dancing. I think that's wishful thinking, however it could become a self-fulfilling prophesy-- especially if I mention it on here!

I wonder what sort of dancing Tomasz is good at? Foxtrot or cha-cha... or horizontal [fnar-fnar]. Imagine him bugling in spandex, energetically contorting himself into various positions! It could go either way with Craig and Bruno: Either they will be spellbound by Tomasz, or they will be jealous and catty. I'm personally in the former camp [haha].

However I suddenly feel like burning a copy of the Daily Hate Mail, the little proverbial-stirrers. A mean-spirited article about Tomasz here...

I note it's an "insider", which is typically hack-speak for a ficitious source. I do hope the story isn't true, and that Tomasz wouldn't be in trouble for doing that photoshoot. He's not exactly Frank Bough is he?

I also hope it doesn't mean the end to Tomasz's wonderfully attired Country Tracks forecasts-- since we know precisely what figure his casuals are hugging onto now {i}. If anything it will increase viewing figures, I've lost count of people who said they are going to pay more attention to him now! {ii}

So ignore the Daily Wail, BBC bosses! Please no high-handed treatment of The Schaf, otherwise I'll be writing an 'Angry of Mayfair' letter, to be delivered through your window-- attached to a brick {iii}. Or possibly just a slightly plaintive tome to Jezza Vine with his Points of View {iv}

There are worse behaved telly presenters out there. If this bloke can get a job presenting at the BBC...

{i} Which is why I don't believe his colleagues knew nothing of physique-- didn't some of them go on that bike-ride together? With Tomasz in lycra?
{ii} He won't be our little secret anymore. His loss of cultdom is a small price to pay for those photos though.
{iii} Note to lawyers: That was a sardonic joke, I do not condone any sort of malicious communication or criminal damage
{iv} Sir Terry didn't get into bother with those trousers, did he? Or Janet & John stories.

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