Changing everyday

A slightly distrubing moment on Radio 2 in the wee hours of this morning, with Janice Long talking about sperm, just before the weather slot. I feared that Janice would ask Tomasz to give a mouthful on that bad taste topic.

1:12:43

However it was Laura Tobin chatting with Janice, and the topic changed to Jon Bon Jovi. Laura is a huge fan (even more so after meeting him), and she was worried about fainting when she interviewed him. I think if I were to meet or interview Tomasz, I'd suffer the same apprehension!

Clearly Alex Deakin appearing on Mastermind has sparked a trend, Laura had also been asked to do Strictly (she had twisted her ankle though), as was Tomasz. For many men, Laura is female equivalent of Tomasz... I would've loved to have seen Tomasz gyrating like a dervish in some those costumes they use on Strictly. Tomasz reports on Twitter that he and Laura Tobin were jiving to theme tunes from children's programmes-- Denver The Last Dinosaur (he's gone quiet)

Laura did the Shipping Forecast this morning-- so I take it Tomasz was on BBC World duties? Hope so. He found time to chat with Liam Dutton on Twitter: Apparently Boy George is following Liam... in a Twitter sense, rather than literally I'd hope-- he could end up being chained to a radiator.

Stranger things have happened to telly personalities, as the QI quizmaster and Dr House once found out...



Finally Tomasz will be on his customary daytime shift tomorrow. News At One, News Channel between 11:00-15:00 plus Radio 4 after You & Yours.

Oiling up Tomasz

The Schaf was on Janice Long's show in wee hours of Monday morning. The delightful Janice bigged our hero up; they indulged in ever-intriguing persiflage, and we got to hear Tomasz's wonderful laugh-- goes right through me.

Janice asked what would Tomasz's perfect weekend be. He said that during the day he'd go for a bike ride {i}; followed by a few cheeky drinks, a restuarant and a bit clubbing {ii}.

Ms Long then curiously asked The Schaf if rubs himself down with WD-40 {iii}... what an image you've given us Schaffanatics, Janice!! Apparently it's to stop your trousers from falling down (likely story).

Our hero advised against this, because you might get it in your nooks and crannies, and you wouldn't be able to go the toilet! [Hoists notional bosom] He couldn't believe he had said that, but I could. Does he have any objections to other types of oil being rubbed into his nooks and crannies... hmm..

On a more high-brow note, Tomasz is into musical theatre {iii}: He is going to the theatre to see Andrew Lloyd-Webber's Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom Of The Opera (I feel the latter's pain). Tomasz informed us that he will be sitting near the front next to the director-- I hope Shufflepants gets red carpet treatment. He's a star daaaaarling, a star.

Final topic of discussion, was other uses for household appliances. Tomasz has an alternative use for a cooker knob. It's not what you think...

Fast foward to 0:43:12, in the next five days

All this talk of theatre and 'other matters', has reminded me of this clip. By popular demand, they're back....



{i} Tomasz in lycra... there's a thought.
{ii} I ashamed to say that reminded me of that Stewart Francis joke: "Being Canadian, I like clubbing. And if there are no seals about, I go dancing"
{iii} What do you mean: "I bet he is"?!

Drifting up the Woodhead

Thankfully I've missed the snow (drizzly rain instead!), but I hear it has been bad up the Cambrian Mountains and especially the Pennines: Snake Pass, Woodhead Pass and Holme Moss all closed.

Sadly we haven't had Tomasz for a few days, to re-assure us. So with this prolonged cold snap, I shall revive this classic from the vaults-- perhaps Tomasz's magnus opus! I still go all Ken & Kenneth when I see this. The comments are the end from viewers are so true.




Any volunteers to warm up Tomasz's frozen ball?

Ta muchly to MEHColeman for the video

Jazz hands

No Tomasz for a couple of days, so a trip down memory lane-- July 2008 in fact. A nice medley of Tomasz, with his jazz hands.. there's a thought {i}.


Thanks to GMCAG for the video

{i} [Enters "Ken & Kenneth" mode]: Ooh! Jazz hands sir? Rapid dexterous movement sir? Jazz sir? Do you like to blow on a horn sir? Or is woodwind more your speciality? Or do you prefer scat sir? Suit you. Do you have good rhythm, do you give a generous performance? A medley and encore-- ooh! Do you enjoy jazz periodicals sir?

Apologies to Paul Whitehouse and Mark Williams.