It'll be alright on the night

The Schaf is making his last-minute prep for the first episode of The Great British Weather tomorrow. That is BBC1 19:30 for those in the British Islands; although I have no doubt you have it indelibly etched into you diaries!

Tomasz has kindly uploaded a couple of sneaky-preview {i} pictures onto Facebook and Twitter. Firstly, Tomasz doing his John Craven tribute, with the bright-red waterproof coat {ii}...



And here's Tomasz in more chique wear, lookingly effortlessly attractive...





I'm sure Tomasz will wow everyone with these new programmes, and show us all what we've been missing.

Meanwhile, if you fancy a wry chuckle, one of Quentin Letts's dispatches. Mr Letts is a columnist for the Daily Mail: So you may expect him to write of matters of grave national importance, political machinations, corruption in public life and so on. So what did he get indignant about last week? He whinges:"Windbags! Why can't TV weathermen cut out their self-indulgent prattle", without checking his mirror first.

Firstly Mr Letts shoots himself in the foot, by falling into the trap of prattle himself: "Forecasters could not appear superior boffins. They had to be popularised, made one with the lowest common denominator". He makes the all-too-frequent error of thinking the lowest common denominator is a bad thing. See here

Inevitably he mentions The Schaf: "Now we have the likes of Tomasz Schafernaker, posing topless in a gay magazine in his spare time". So what if he did, what's it got to do with his abilities as broadcast meteorlogist? This leaving aside the fact that Tomasz left the of BBC weather forecasts months ago, so Mr Letts is a little off the mark with "now".

Still he can always pick on the undeserving Chris Fawkes, who disgraces himself by having interests outside of work, mostly... wait for it... sports. Apparently parachuting is particularly objectionable; Mr Letts then clamours "nurse" {iv} and wishes to cut Chris's parachute strings. I think the nurse needs to visit Mr Letts first, if the anodyne Chris Fawkes inspires thoughts of murder in QL.

Then there's the unfortunate Alex Deakin who is a "pingy and zingy keep-fit type". What do these forecasters think they are doing, looking after themselves, instead of breathing and living meteorology. It's enough to make you burn you Licence Fee isn't it, and smash your telly up (BBC can ruddy well pay for the bill too).

Even worse Deaks has personality, a jovial one at that; poor Liam "dreadful windbag" Dutton was equally chastised by right-minded Feedback {iii} listeners, for much the same reason. Mr Letts goes one better, and then castigates weather presenters for ditching received pronunciation: "[It] has been replaced by a wittering Babel of regional accents, jagged Northern vowels, Fenland dipthongs, Estuarial glottal stops". It's not like the BBC should reflect the fact that it broadcasts to those outside the M25, or that only 5% of the British populace speak like Brian Sewell or Emma Thompson

Then of course chez Daily Wail, conformist austerity is the order of the day; cheeriness and individuality is to be condemned. Otherwise it may cause house-prices to collapse, which will make paedophiles give your lager-lout kids cancer. Or something.

{i} Antoin de Caune. He's gone quiet, hasn't he?
{ii} Rumour is, John is surgically attached to it.
{iii} A programme on Radio 4, where morally-upstanding radio listeners impart their views on BBC broadcasts, by impersonate Mrs Tembe from Doctors.
{iv} I feel Barry Cryer cringe from here

Radio Times

The lastest edition of Radio Times, features a large feature about the Great British Weather programme, airing next week. BBC weather forecasters past and present appear, including The Schaf.

Tomasz pictured with Carol "Schmirkwood" Kirkwood, in some cute shots. So impressive is His Loveliness, he appears inside the front cover too!







The magazine is also worth buying, because there are fun interviews and photoshoots with other forecasters; such as Alex Deakin {i}, Laura Tobin, John Kettley, Bill Giles and Michael Fish and others. The Radio Times edition in question, is out today.

Meanwhile, Tomasz has been having fun in the Blue Peter garden...






{i} In shorts, on a deckchair, for all you Deaks fans out there.

Wszystkiego Najlepszego

Happy birthday to Tomasz! He turns 32 today, and is looking ever more piekny with every passing year. I trust Tomasz will have an excellent birthday, no matter how he may celebrate...



Intriguingly quiet on the Tomasz front of late, no twittering or Facebook updates. He was scheduled to appear this week, in the customary lunchtime slot-- but he was supplanted by Alex Deakin and Dan Corbett {i}. I hope Tomasz hasn't been ill over the past few days, he had mentioned being "under the weather" (!) just before Christmas.

I like to be optimistic, and speculate that no news is good news: In other words he has been discreetly busy with something that will herald a nice fresh start to 2011. Remember the wise words of Eric & Ernie...



{i} Nothing wrong with the dapper Alex Deakin of course, nor Dan Corbett. The latter came out with a gem today: "And it's bye-bye to that weather front; off he goes, we don't want to see him again".

Sad blog of the week

Having decided to persue a vendatta against Tomasz, the Daily Wail now has his colleagues in their sights, with the following:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1329317/Another-storm-BBC-weather-forecasters-threaten-strikes.html

Of course they can't resist a swipe at Tomasz, he's "popular despite courting controversy". Only if you're a Daily Mail journo (or one of the paper's misanthropic readers); where being a cover star on Attitude, being Polish-born and wearing V-necker jumper/jeans on Country Tracks is a hanging offence.

Of course the Daily Mail is the paragon of moral rectitude, so it's never wrong: Except the weather forecasters in question are Met Office employees, not the BBC's. Nor does it mention that the paper is affiliated with ITV (no bias there then) via Northcliffe. Also Tomasz, Rob McElwee and Phil Avery will become "weather duty managers", even though they "failed to impress" (quoth DM) with "team leadership skills".

Then we have the rational critique from the upstanding audience of the Daily Mail, in the comments section. Summed up as thus....
} "They're typical, prima-donna public-sector workers".
Yeah all public-sector workers earn shed-loads, have gold-plated pensions and are pampered at work. In DM world they do at least.

} "Tomasz is always puts his foot in it/messes up. He's an oddbod and needs to put back-office, put him in his place, wings clipped".
Really? Every single one of his broadcasts? Of course DM readers never make mistakes. If they do, they don't and can't laugh about it. They got and birch themselves instead. By "odd", they mean Tomasz is jovial, has a sense of humour and is too gorgeous for his own good. Why should he have his "wings clipped". Can't have him upsetting miserable folk with little self-esteem can we?

Apparently he "brought the whole BBC into disrepute [re middle-finger]". Alright he wasn't particularly professional, but the overwhelming response was that of humour and sympathy. Certainly I didn't see a marauding mob marching to White City to burn a pyre of LF recepits, with Tomasz as the guy.

} "Get rid of the likes of Tomasz, Alex Deakin, Carol Kirkwood-- get the newsreader to do it. Their celeb status is undeserved. Well-loved? Hardly, they wouldn't be missed. Only the weather-geeks care".
Let's not have qualified experts doing the forecast, who have some personality. Not popular? This blog gets a hundred visits a day, and the superb Dan Corbett blog is not exactly unfurnished with visits either.

} "They're always pregnant".
The female ones of course... in the world of the DM, they should in the kitchen. Preferably making your dinner; can't have women getting to cocky in the workplace now, can we.

} "Want to know the weather? Look outside/look on the net/pine-cone"
That's helpful, if you want to know what the weather/temperature is going to be like in the *following* days, isn't it? Of course DM readers can see into the future, because they know everything will go wrong-- so it's always gloomy in their world! Not everyone has time to go on the net and interpret complex satellite data either.

If the BBC let the Met Office sacked the weather-presenters, the DM fraternity would be in outrage; complaining the BBC is dumbing again, what is it spending the LF on, blah-blah

Well Schaffanatics, would you rather look at a lump of seaweed or pinecone-- or watch/listen to Tomasz? I rest my case.

A few nice comments about Tomasz. Kamil says he is "so fit" (how did that slip past the DM censors); another who says it's a household event chez lui, to watch Tomasz alone-- just to see if he slips-up (backhanded or what?). Finally "keep Tomasz and lash the rest". Errmm... yeah...

I can imagine this their favourite song at the Daily Heil...



Meanwhile, this is Private Eye's take on things!


PS: Tomasz on tomorrow, lunchtime shift (inc News At One, end of You & Yours plus News Channel)

Have I got news for you

Tomasz got another accolade this week, a mention on Have I Got News For You {i}. The main topic of conversation was the NUJ strike at the BBC, and an aside was *that* report in the Daily Bile about Tomasz's attire-- "causing a storm". Ian Hislop wondered if Tomasz had literally caused a storm (in jest of course).

I'm pleased to say the angle from Jo Brand was to sneer at said paper, rather than His Loveliness. Paul Merton recognised him as the bloke who stuck fingers up onscreen, which precipitated that all-too-familiar clip. Paul charitably suggested he was showing there was a cyclone expected over the Midlands! The others were more passive in their reponse, but they were clearly smirking at the paper and the "outrage". Lovely screengrab of him!



For people in the Uk, there's an extended version of the show this Sunday on BBC2-- we may get more on that! Tomasz Tweeted that he is "honoured" by his mention on the programme-- despite the "story" about his attire.

I like the idea of the new weathergirl at the beginning of HIGNFY. Although Her Majesty was on the set of UTV, which is ITV's franchise in Northern Ireland-- not the BBC's. Not that I'm trying to ruin a good joke or anything.

Should any Daily Mail/Metro readers be reading this, don't watch this Sunday's Country Tracks, you may be treated to shocking scenes such as this:




If you want to be even more outraged, watch Countryfile. You may see Mr dishy Deakin wearing his casuals as well, shlock horror..



Not sure Alex "mah dear" Deakin is on Cfl this week, he's been on Janice Long's show most of this week-- with chatter straight of the Sherrie Hewson book of conversation!

Tomasz is on tomorrow for his usual lunchtime session, and Country Tracks too. I hope he dresses as stunningly as did last Sunday-- ignore what a certain paper says. Tomasz-- you're worth the Licence Fee alone!

{i} For those outside the UK, Have I Got News For You (HIGNFY) is popular long-running satirical show, that has been on BBC since 1990. It features Private Eye editor Ian Hislop and surreal comedian Paul Merton. They are joined by a guest chairperson, and a guest panelist each (often a comedian, journalist, actor or politician)

The show is just for laughs, and the quizshow style is really to give it structure and a device for banter between knowledgeable Hislop and wisecracking Merton.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Have_I_Got_News_for_You

Wish I were there

The Schaf was on Janice Long in the early hours of this morning, Janice had a good chat with the "seasoned traveller".

First Tomasz told us about his visit to Dubai; all skyscrapers, posh hotels and desert. He went down to the beach one day, and it was "scorchio" {i}; it would be if Tomasz was lying on his towel in his Speedos, but he was referring to temperatures of ~44C.

Poor Tomasz had gone down the beech without footwear-- he felt like an "idiot" because he was hopping around on the hot sand! The Schaf could never look like an idiot. Janice enquired as to whether he had "barbie feet": I'm not sure this was in a barbeque-- or Barbie doll {ii}! A delightfully quaint expression from the Long'un.

He also went to an Arabian camp, sounds fun. Even with my distaste for warm weather, I would go into the desert with Tomasz and a tent, and I'd put it for him. His Loveliness also rode on a jumbo out in the Far East, one of those double-decker airbusses no less.

After informing us about the weather, he told a tale of his soujourn in Paris. After his bike ride to Paris, he lost his rucksack (containing his best T-shirt and music player) in the X-ray machine for the Eurostar. Once aboard said train, he remembered, but it was too late [cue sinister].

Worry not dear readers, because The Schaf is cunning. Since French customer-service is almost as good as it is in the UK, you apparently cannot phone or email the lost-property-- only write to it! So our man did just that, he went to the lost property in Garde du Nord-- and was re-united with his lost property-- hurrah!

He was most upset about his t-shirt. It may be scruffy, but I imagine Tomasz looks a beau mec in it. I'd like to explore some exotic places with Tomasz, out of curiosity.

For the full interview, fast-foward to 1:14:08 in the next six days only.

Meanwhile, a treat on Outtake TV last Saturday for those who round on Tomasz for making mistakes and wonder why he hasn't been sacked: One or two clips of a certain forecaster making gaffes and facetiously reacting to them... step foward Alex Deakin! Another weather forecaster makes gaffes as well, blimey-- enough to make you splutter on one's copy of the Daily Mail.

{i} As for "scorchio", recalls the great days of Paola Fisch. Ah thethetheh Chris Waddle sminky-pinky thalia-he thalia-ha, Bhoutrus Bhoutrus Ghali...

Fast-foward to 2:40



{ii} New Barbie coming out soon. Barbie has a plush penthouse, sports car and expensive clothes. Ken is scruffy, despondent and has no house of his own. Look out for "Divorce Barbie" soon!

Ahoy Tomasz

The Schaf undertook that great BBC Radio 4 institution this morning, the Shipping Forecast. It is pure poetry at the best of times {i}, but Tomasz's soothing voice, it takes on a whole different dimension. He's even gorgeous on the wireless too-- they do say the best pictures are on the radio.

Here he is, six days left to listen. Fast-foward to 01:06. I'm sure Tomasz is an expert in rising, backing and swelling-- as well as commanding the attention of sea men. I certainly "fall" for him, listening to him.

So no Tomasz today on Country Tracks, that honour fell to the endearing "wee" Matt Taylor. I know he has his fans out there; so since his fanblog has been discontinued, a treat...



This evening it was the dashing Alex Deakin for Countryfile, looking trim in his casuals-- giving some competition to Tomasz in the jeans department too! Here he is dishy Deakin this week, a slip-up with "Tuesday's chart"-- see it's not just Tomasz!



Of course not even the resplendent Alex (or Matt) can compare to Tomasz, who is naturally in a league of his own. God-like almost...



Will The Divine One made a long-overdue appearance with Janice Long in the early hours of tomorrow-- I hope so!

Many thanks to Terratec for the uploads. I love the way so many people are still flocking to Tomasz's support on Facebook, rightly so! He's a truly amazing person

{i} Even the name Dogger Bank. That sort of thing doesn't go on in
Radcliffe-on-Trent HSBC, I can tell you.

Tomasz and his Goodwood

The glorious pink honeycomb tie made another appearance today, goes well his rich tan. Equally rich vocabulary, Tomasz "squeezing" showers out. Forecasts were routine today, although seeing The Schaf strutting his stuff is always a heart-warming experience. Especially with the fresher air, I love northerly breezes!



Congratulations to Tomasz's screen-colleague Alex Deakin, who is to become a father.

Thanks to Terratec for uploading for the above video

Here with some sunshine...

...is Tomasz! This was Sophie Raworth's fitting introduction for The Schaf on News At One today. He certainly was very phlegmatic today; with a lovely broad grin on his bestubbled face, permeating every broadcast he did today. It may be chilly out, but Tomasz's radiant smile is enough to warm the cockles {i}

Today's mystery, is what was distracting Tomasz at midday on the BBC News Channel? I suspect logorrhoea from the gallery was to blame. You can't put Shufflepants off his stroke!



I just hope Tomasz doesn't get the throat infection that Alex Deakin is currently struggling with, croaked his way through Janice Long's show this morning!

Thanks to Terratec, for the video


{i} Of our hearts. You are a filthy lot.

That's the weather, for now-- or is it?

As we know Tomasz has many talents {i}: Entertaining weather forecasting, art, fashion, cycling marathons, gardening, witty phraseology and just being talent.

Amongst Tomasz's many gifts, appears to be impersonating people {ii}: Have a guess at who The Schaf is doing an impression of here...


^ July 2008

Of course there is only one Dan Corbett: Anybody who admires his "whooshing", "blue plasticine", "trouble-makers" and "pic-nic baskets" will find this site of interest-- visit it and see that it is good

http://kirsty.typepad.com/ttwfn

Speaking of Tomasz's colleagues, Alex Deakin is on Celebrity Mastermind this Thursday-- BBC1 at 8pm. He competes against John Higgins, Michael "peepil" Howard and Beverley Knight. Alex's special subject will be the Stone Roses, although he wanted it to be Liverpool FC (confer Janice Long last night). Let's hope John Humphreys didn't interupt him too much [corny chuckle]

{i} I always in awe of his talents, he is "doskonały". Whereas I'm multi-untalented.
{ii} Whatever happened to Mike Yarwood? Up there with the great mysteries of the universe.

Tomasz breathless with enthusiasm

The Schaf returned to our screens this lunchtime, telling us of chilly weather and even snow across the Pennines {i}. He was particularly ebullient today with a pleasant twinkle in his eye, just the way we like him {ii}. This forecast from later on, at 1:55pm...



It reminds me of a comment made on The Weather Is Boring Without Tomasz Schafernacker Facebook website:

"I often ignore the weather forecast, but when Tomasz is on, I am compelled to watch. He gives so much information in an entertaining way, almost breathless with enthusiasm. And isn't his English brilliant"

Sums up the appeal of Tomasz brilliantly. His deft phraseology, charisma and being easy on the eye. I'm frequently breathless with enthusiasm when I watch him... err... yes... which reminds me: Tomasz should be on Country Tracks tomorrow! Since cold weather has set in, I suspect the fetching white woolly jumper will make a return-- accompanied by some taut denim? We can but hope.

Speaking of social networking websites, Alex Deakin tweeted that he'd filmed Celebrity Mastermind the other day: "They were desperate-- most terrifying thing I've ever done".

This got me thinking-- what quiz or reality show would we like to see Tomasz on?

Finally congratulations to Matt Taylor for becoming a father, his daughter Isobel Megan was born recently-- he was telling Big Vern all about it on Radio 1

{i} R Jon was right. Calendar viewers will know what I mean.
{ii} I love the blue-striped tie too!

Rugby scrummy

No Tomasz on Country Tracks today {i}, so a rummage into the archives once more-- this time from August 2nd this year.

It's one of Tomasz's most popular Country Tracks performances: Perhaps owing to the flattering rubgy shirt he was wearing, showcasing his amazing biceps and the rest of his stunning physique.

Forget even Jonny Wilkinson, Tomasz knows how to wear a rugby shirt. I wonder if Tomasz has played ruggers in the past: I can see him being going for it in a scrum, being rough around the touchline and handling his tackle well {ii}. Well he is 'scrummy' after all {iii}.

He may have forecasted nice aestival weather that week, but I wasn't paying attention the charts. It was all about the arms (and the rest of him for that matter)






Oh... Laura Tobin did the five-day forecast this morning, just in case you were wondering. Footnotes follow.

{i} Disgrace, outrage, we should demand our Licence Fee back etc
{ii} I'm still talking about rugby. Of course.
{iii} See what I did there.

Thanks to Terratec365 for the video