It'll be alright on the night

The Schaf is making his last-minute prep for the first episode of The Great British Weather tomorrow. That is BBC1 19:30 for those in the British Islands; although I have no doubt you have it indelibly etched into you diaries!

Tomasz has kindly uploaded a couple of sneaky-preview {i} pictures onto Facebook and Twitter. Firstly, Tomasz doing his John Craven tribute, with the bright-red waterproof coat {ii}...



And here's Tomasz in more chique wear, lookingly effortlessly attractive...





I'm sure Tomasz will wow everyone with these new programmes, and show us all what we've been missing.

Meanwhile, if you fancy a wry chuckle, one of Quentin Letts's dispatches. Mr Letts is a columnist for the Daily Mail: So you may expect him to write of matters of grave national importance, political machinations, corruption in public life and so on. So what did he get indignant about last week? He whinges:"Windbags! Why can't TV weathermen cut out their self-indulgent prattle", without checking his mirror first.

Firstly Mr Letts shoots himself in the foot, by falling into the trap of prattle himself: "Forecasters could not appear superior boffins. They had to be popularised, made one with the lowest common denominator". He makes the all-too-frequent error of thinking the lowest common denominator is a bad thing. See here

Inevitably he mentions The Schaf: "Now we have the likes of Tomasz Schafernaker, posing topless in a gay magazine in his spare time". So what if he did, what's it got to do with his abilities as broadcast meteorlogist? This leaving aside the fact that Tomasz left the of BBC weather forecasts months ago, so Mr Letts is a little off the mark with "now".

Still he can always pick on the undeserving Chris Fawkes, who disgraces himself by having interests outside of work, mostly... wait for it... sports. Apparently parachuting is particularly objectionable; Mr Letts then clamours "nurse" {iv} and wishes to cut Chris's parachute strings. I think the nurse needs to visit Mr Letts first, if the anodyne Chris Fawkes inspires thoughts of murder in QL.

Then there's the unfortunate Alex Deakin who is a "pingy and zingy keep-fit type". What do these forecasters think they are doing, looking after themselves, instead of breathing and living meteorology. It's enough to make you burn you Licence Fee isn't it, and smash your telly up (BBC can ruddy well pay for the bill too).

Even worse Deaks has personality, a jovial one at that; poor Liam "dreadful windbag" Dutton was equally chastised by right-minded Feedback {iii} listeners, for much the same reason. Mr Letts goes one better, and then castigates weather presenters for ditching received pronunciation: "[It] has been replaced by a wittering Babel of regional accents, jagged Northern vowels, Fenland dipthongs, Estuarial glottal stops". It's not like the BBC should reflect the fact that it broadcasts to those outside the M25, or that only 5% of the British populace speak like Brian Sewell or Emma Thompson

Then of course chez Daily Wail, conformist austerity is the order of the day; cheeriness and individuality is to be condemned. Otherwise it may cause house-prices to collapse, which will make paedophiles give your lager-lout kids cancer. Or something.

{i} Antoin de Caune. He's gone quiet, hasn't he?
{ii} Rumour is, John is surgically attached to it.
{iii} A programme on Radio 4, where morally-upstanding radio listeners impart their views on BBC broadcasts, by impersonate Mrs Tembe from Doctors.
{iv} I feel Barry Cryer cringe from here

Sad blog of the week

Having decided to persue a vendatta against Tomasz, the Daily Wail now has his colleagues in their sights, with the following:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1329317/Another-storm-BBC-weather-forecasters-threaten-strikes.html

Of course they can't resist a swipe at Tomasz, he's "popular despite courting controversy". Only if you're a Daily Mail journo (or one of the paper's misanthropic readers); where being a cover star on Attitude, being Polish-born and wearing V-necker jumper/jeans on Country Tracks is a hanging offence.

Of course the Daily Mail is the paragon of moral rectitude, so it's never wrong: Except the weather forecasters in question are Met Office employees, not the BBC's. Nor does it mention that the paper is affiliated with ITV (no bias there then) via Northcliffe. Also Tomasz, Rob McElwee and Phil Avery will become "weather duty managers", even though they "failed to impress" (quoth DM) with "team leadership skills".

Then we have the rational critique from the upstanding audience of the Daily Mail, in the comments section. Summed up as thus....
} "They're typical, prima-donna public-sector workers".
Yeah all public-sector workers earn shed-loads, have gold-plated pensions and are pampered at work. In DM world they do at least.

} "Tomasz is always puts his foot in it/messes up. He's an oddbod and needs to put back-office, put him in his place, wings clipped".
Really? Every single one of his broadcasts? Of course DM readers never make mistakes. If they do, they don't and can't laugh about it. They got and birch themselves instead. By "odd", they mean Tomasz is jovial, has a sense of humour and is too gorgeous for his own good. Why should he have his "wings clipped". Can't have him upsetting miserable folk with little self-esteem can we?

Apparently he "brought the whole BBC into disrepute [re middle-finger]". Alright he wasn't particularly professional, but the overwhelming response was that of humour and sympathy. Certainly I didn't see a marauding mob marching to White City to burn a pyre of LF recepits, with Tomasz as the guy.

} "Get rid of the likes of Tomasz, Alex Deakin, Carol Kirkwood-- get the newsreader to do it. Their celeb status is undeserved. Well-loved? Hardly, they wouldn't be missed. Only the weather-geeks care".
Let's not have qualified experts doing the forecast, who have some personality. Not popular? This blog gets a hundred visits a day, and the superb Dan Corbett blog is not exactly unfurnished with visits either.

} "They're always pregnant".
The female ones of course... in the world of the DM, they should in the kitchen. Preferably making your dinner; can't have women getting to cocky in the workplace now, can we.

} "Want to know the weather? Look outside/look on the net/pine-cone"
That's helpful, if you want to know what the weather/temperature is going to be like in the *following* days, isn't it? Of course DM readers can see into the future, because they know everything will go wrong-- so it's always gloomy in their world! Not everyone has time to go on the net and interpret complex satellite data either.

If the BBC let the Met Office sacked the weather-presenters, the DM fraternity would be in outrage; complaining the BBC is dumbing again, what is it spending the LF on, blah-blah

Well Schaffanatics, would you rather look at a lump of seaweed or pinecone-- or watch/listen to Tomasz? I rest my case.

A few nice comments about Tomasz. Kamil says he is "so fit" (how did that slip past the DM censors); another who says it's a household event chez lui, to watch Tomasz alone-- just to see if he slips-up (backhanded or what?). Finally "keep Tomasz and lash the rest". Errmm... yeah...

I can imagine this their favourite song at the Daily Heil...



Meanwhile, this is Private Eye's take on things!


PS: Tomasz on tomorrow, lunchtime shift (inc News At One, end of You & Yours plus News Channel)

Pausing for Tomasz

The Schaf is so worthy of worship, that Maxane Mawhinney "paused" for a weather update from His Loveliness. He was looking classy today; in a snazzy blue-and-white tie, a neat layer of stubble and a suit clinging to his biceps. More impressive was Tomasz's array of hand and finger movements to demonstrate weather-patterns, I can just imagining Tomasz hand-jiving.



And another one from Terratec (you're just too good!). Tomasz didn't squint hard enough at his feedback; almost mistook Wales for Northern Ireland, so he did. Not to worry, we are hearing the return of Tomasz's favourite word for autumn/winter-- it's "chilly" out.



Extended Have I Got News For You tonight, I hope to be getting it onto Youtube with the very kind assistance of Terratec (paint him Deputy Chief Shaffanatic).

A warning for tomorrow though (!), from His Loveliness

‎On Country Tracks or Weather For The Week Ahead this weekend...standard clothes (approved by BBC) for that particular weather broadcast...as always.

Yes, quite right: Dinner jacket, and don't show too much neck either. Can't be reminding jealous blokes and assorted Angry of Mayfairs, what a stunning physique you have Tomasz.

As it happens, there is no Country Tracks tomorrow, because of Rememberance Sunday celebrations: So I imagine Tomasz will appear before Formula 1, to give us the five-day forecast in his suit and tie. Well we can't have the Daily Mail having another thromby, can we. They'll be calling for him to wear a mask next.

Update

Czesc all.

Many thanks for the kind comments yesterday; not just about my blog, but expressing support for the good man himself. His agent Tim Reed, released this statement yesterday:

"I'm shocked that due to restructuring the Met Office have taken the decision to remove Tomasz from any on air presence. Tomasz and I are still waiting for feedback from the Met Office as to why he hasn't been chosen to remain in the broadcasting team. Nobody at the BBC has ever expressed any dissatisfaction to either Tomasz or me about the standard of his work."
Tim Reed Management

I have praise for the Daily Mirror today, who reported the news without any snide remarks. In fact they were charming about him: Calling him a "hunk" (damn right!), stating he was a "rising star" and recognise his "cult" status. They were also matter-of-fact about Attitude and his 'incidents' in the past. So good on Tom Bryant.

Shame the commenters on the story can't be as charming, one doubting his status as a "hunk". Oh dear! So what if has an agent-- it's Tomasz who pays for that-- not the BBC! Besides, Fiona Bruce doing Antiques Roadshow doesn't make her any less of a newsreader. On a side-note, I was intrigued to see the Mirror reporting that five presenters are going too-- who are the other two I wonder?

I was slightly disappointed with The Independent, who said that Tomasz "has built up a cult following despite a series of on-screen gaffes". I suspect the journo who wrote that, doesn't appreciate that the way Tomasz deals with his slip-ups, is the reason he is adored: He's not afraid to laugh at himself, and encourages to others to do so (plus he does such an excellent job the rest of the time). To be fair, the article does call him "popular", and points out his TRIC award.

Pink News have also reported on it, rather unkindly listing all his "gaffes" (although I can't take any a publication seriously, that uses that ghastly term "the gay community"). However at least they conceded the fans were angry at the decision.

Unsurprisingly Sky News concentrate on the negatives, not unlike Mr Murdoch to bash the Beeb of course! I wonder if they reported on Adam Boulton's rant at Alistair Campbell, or Kay Burley's controversies with such zeal?
.

Although kind towards Rob McElwee and Phil Avery (fair enough), The Daily Telegraph was probably the meanest of the lot towards The Schaf. I quote: "Like the early mist that burns off as the sun strengthens, he will leave behind an ill-defined impression on the viewer's memory, apart from having once been caught on camera making a rude gesture". Really? What about his huge Fbk following, this blog, Youtube clips and the award?

I think on many a person's mind, he has left a very nice impression (especially that with Attitude shoot!).It's amazing how many people seem to be under the impression that Msrs McElwee and Avery are "proper" meteorlogists, when all the BBC national weather forecasters have degrees in meteorology. Also the BBC forecasts talk about the jet-stream and isobars; Tomasz certainly does, as my blog has shown frequently.

Still, somebody at the Daily Torygraph has some brain-cells to rub together, and this nice column shows

On a brighter note, ATV Network was charitable about Tomasz, especially over the Middle Finger saga. The article also talks of his popularity and "down to earth approach". Not only that, it features three highly supportive messages posted on the Facebook site, suggesting it sums up the prevalent mood. Shame that a commenter called "thepark" spits vitriol at him beneath it, all that bile has obviously given him/her a selective memory and the inability to use capital-letters or punctuation correctly. I'm sure you lovely Schaffanatics can can put him/her right, eh?

Overall I think it's a shame that so many reports and people seem to be concentrating on his "gaffes" all the time, and trying to knock him. The irony is most reports have concentrated on Tomasz; why would they do that, if he isn't popular? I don't mean any disrepect to Phil Avery or Rob McElwee when I say that, by the way.

It's as if he blunders all the time, and they ignore the rest of his forecasts: Engaging, intelligent, good-humoured and cheerful (yes and handsome!)-- the things that make him popular. They ignore the fact that other presenters have had blunders; where's the vitriol for Laura Tobin, after her mobile phone incident? Or Richard Edgar for talking of "shitty weather"?

And I note nobody has mentioned Tomasz's charity bike-rides in these articles; without the help of his fans, he wouldn't have raised such huge amounts of money for good causes, out of all his trouble. Or that talk he did at East Sheen Library.

I can only imagine some bitter journalists and internet trolls feel threatened by somebody who is stunningly good-looking, popular and charismatic-- I really hope Beeb bosses don't pay much attention to them. We have seen popular presenters (on shows well-suited for them) moved on, because of sour bosses. I hope Tomasz doesn't become one of those victims.

I, and doubtless my many readers, will support you Tomasz-- whatever happens.

Hello, good evening and bollo...

For some reason, I got a lot of texts and emails about The Schaf today! In case you're wondering what I'm driving at, a hint...




Granted it certainly wasn't a professional thing to do... yeah and somebody of his calibre ought to know better with his experience of live telly, I can see why people may take issue with this particular incident.

However I did find the incident amusing {ii}, especially in the context of his and Simone's banter. As Tomasz once commented to Jane Hill, there's always banter between him and Simone-- "but no hard feelings". This was clearly an accident, and poor Tomasz looked mortified when the camera cut to him mid-gesture! He did try to valiantly cover his tracks by feigning scratching his chin, alas too late.

Given that Tomasz is a popular presenter (TRIC award, cult following, dozens of visitors daily to my blog), it's inenvitable that a backlash will thence occur-- no doubt aided and abetted with glee by sundry insecure fire-and-brimstone types out there. Especially since Tomasz previous gaffes have been stuff of legend (with or without my help), some shit-stirring journo or green-eyed Angry of Mayfair can easily Google up his pass 'transgression'

I wouldn't condone what he did, but he's not the first (and won't be the last) to something like that. Anthony H Wilson unwittingly had a foul-mouth rant live on Granada Reports, and went to successfully present for BBC NW/Manchester. I can think of three Loose Women presenters who've sworn live on said show, and they continue on the programme-- and LW continues to be a success.

I wonder if the lesser known weather-presenters would have been subjected to this hysteria-- I think they can (and probably do?) get away it more. I do concede he shouldn't get away scot-free with this, but I hope he doesn't get draconinian treatment for it . He looked genuinely mortified when the camera cut to him, it was accident (albeit careless one) and he doesn't make a habit of it on-camera-- he's good at his job otherwise.

Predicatbly the Daily Wail, Daily Mirror, Daily Telegraph and Murdoch outlets are having a field day with his, not like them to let a bit of Beeb-bashing to pass them by. No doubt Dirty "new owner of Five" Desmond will gladly join in tomorrow, if he can find space between all the Diana conspiracy stories (she's still deceased by the way).

And of course the Daily Heil has already had a pathetic pop at Tomasz, when he posed for Attitude one of these stories where an "insider/source" (IE a journo making it up) bitched about him. Added to that, we know how the Daily Hate Mail likes to vindictive about men like Tomasz {i}

It is heartening to see that the comments on the story (on those papers' websites) have been largely forgiving. Isn't it weird how people got on their high horse and denigrated Tomasz for his harmless irony with the Petal incident with Simone, yet are fine with his flicking his middle finger at Simone? Beats me.

I really hope Beeb bosses aren't draconian with him: Last I looked, the incident just garnered just seven complaints with the Beeb-- and an Ofcom spokesman said no complaints had been filed. May I suggest a suitable punishment Beeb bosses? I'll come round and slap his legs. Or he should be forced to the weather naked


Of course there are worse presenters out there...



Tomasz did have some other incident-free broadcasts today, with his talk of "milky sunshine"-- I'm intrigued to know what he means about a "useable day" though? Here he is, in more uncontroversial territory (not sticking his middle finger up to Sc____nd). Mr Fish is Mr Steam eh?


{iii}

Ah well... I love Tomasz if nobody else does [haha]. Swearing live on-air aside, you are a breath of fresh air Tomasz, please don't change... nice to have a presenter with personality, and who doesn't patronise us. He certainly is cool!


PS: Official comment from the man himself

This morning, prior to a live weather bulletin, I made a gesture off camera joking with my fellow presenters and without warning the camera went live to the weather studio. I am very sorry for any offence that might have been caused by my actions.

No offence taken here chief. Since it's you Tomasz, I'll let you off.


{i} Readers overseas may want to Google "Stephen Gateley"+"Jan Moir"+"Dail Mail". Or not
{ii} He really ought have used to fingers instead of one, can't beat an Anglo-Saxon salute
{iii} Thanks to Terratec, least the swearing didn't offend you

Isn't it ironic?

First off Tomasz is on the overnigth shift this evening, so can we hope for an appearance on Janice Long at around 00:40-00:50? Fingers crossed.

We are blessed! Terratec has very kindly given us a double-bill of Tomasz, plus another forecast-- and the Weather For The Week Ahead {i}. Eyeballs and eardrums at the ready! First he makes a cheeky quip about an airshow. Although I'm intrigued by Tomasz's "mini-scorcher"...



Here we have Tomasz enthusing about "spatial areas", as his suit struggles to contain his amazing biceps



So now for the biggy, the five-day forecast.



Tomasz made an unfortunate slip-up there, mistaking Wales for Scotland. Well I say unfortunate, it's disgraceful.

Yet another outrageous and hateful slur on Scotland, even though he apologised straight away and made 'light' of such a grave error; it's still indicative of his London/English-centric attitude, as only a person from Gdansk in Poland can muster.

In fact such a blunder is a good reason for lowering the Licence Fee, he should be sacked straight away. If he didn't spend so much time corresponding with his many adoring fans and doing charity bike rides and helping a young lady achieve her dream (confe previous post)-- he wouldn't make so many grotesque blunders.

It's bad enough when he takes himself too seriously with his diva strops; all his self-depreciating and jokey banter with Simon, smiling and giggling at his own slip-ups. Being too good-looking, warm and having a secure personality-- what sort of example does he set? Telegenic people like Tomasz shouldn't be allowed on television: It's unacceptable people who are charismatic, talented and intelligent-- who happen to be very handsome-- should be broadcasting on telly.

Nor on radio. I heard him being ever-so-slightly 'camp' on Radio 4, I was so sickened I scraped my car along a wall at speed and hit a cat. I'm sending the BBC the bill, and they can ruddy well pay for the damage and the vetinary bills.

Almost as bad as when Tomasz posed in "skimpy" shorts, showing off-- just as he would be dressed if he went swimming. I was so outraged, I felt like writing to the Daily Mail for them to make a non-story about. It's not like there are more important things in the world: Genocidial regimes, parliamentary debates at Westminister, Orwellian acitivites at the EU, humanitarian crises or natural disasters; or possibly nice things that people have done, to restore one's faith in human nature.

In fact I'm so jealous of Tomasz, I may have to go onto one of those internet forums to slag him off, to boost my flagging ego... or to show what a great sense of humour I have, to point out when Tomasz is taking himself seriously during some banter, even though he's being ironic [wink]

{i} No Country Tracks, Politics Show instead… like the honeycomb tie though

Naggingly cool

The Schaf may disapprove-- but I love the northerly breeze we're experiencing-- it can nag away! Even better if it means Tomasz wears his light blue ties. I'm glad he doesn't think the UK is a floater, although some puce-faced Daily Mail readers may disagree.



Wouldn't it be fun if Tomasz wore a big flowery hat for a forecast? Although that would cover his rufflable {i} dark-blond hair.

He mentioned the London-to-Brighton bike-ride {ii}, which his His Loveliness is taking part in. I, and I'm sure everyone else here, wish him the best of luck with that-- powodzenia. I did think about going down to Brighton, to offer moral support-- but I'd be so nervous about meeting the Great Man [haha]

{i} Is that a word? Is now! Oof, neologism
{ii} Cycling up Ditchling Beacon looks very gruelling, almost as bad as the infamous Holme Moss cycle ride (on Derbs/W Yorks border)

Strictly Tomasz

The latest rumour on the internet is, that the BBC are angling to get The Schaf on the next series of Strictly Coming Dancing. I think that's wishful thinking, however it could become a self-fulfilling prophesy-- especially if I mention it on here!

I wonder what sort of dancing Tomasz is good at? Foxtrot or cha-cha... or horizontal [fnar-fnar]. Imagine him bugling in spandex, energetically contorting himself into various positions! It could go either way with Craig and Bruno: Either they will be spellbound by Tomasz, or they will be jealous and catty. I'm personally in the former camp [haha].

However I suddenly feel like burning a copy of the Daily Hate Mail, the little proverbial-stirrers. A mean-spirited article about Tomasz here...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1243657/BBC-weatherman-Tomasz-Schafernaker-shocks-bosses-posing-gay-magazine-skimpy-shorts.html

I note it's an "insider", which is typically hack-speak for a ficitious source. I do hope the story isn't true, and that Tomasz wouldn't be in trouble for doing that photoshoot. He's not exactly Frank Bough is he?

I also hope it doesn't mean the end to Tomasz's wonderfully attired Country Tracks forecasts-- since we know precisely what figure his casuals are hugging onto now {i}. If anything it will increase viewing figures, I've lost count of people who said they are going to pay more attention to him now! {ii}

So ignore the Daily Wail, BBC bosses! Please no high-handed treatment of The Schaf, otherwise I'll be writing an 'Angry of Mayfair' letter, to be delivered through your window-- attached to a brick {iii}. Or possibly just a slightly plaintive tome to Jezza Vine with his Points of View {iv}

There are worse behaved telly presenters out there. If this bloke can get a job presenting at the BBC...



{i} Which is why I don't believe his colleagues knew nothing of physique-- didn't some of them go on that bike-ride together? With Tomasz in lycra?
{ii} He won't be our little secret anymore. His loss of cultdom is a small price to pay for those photos though.
{iii} Note to lawyers: That was a sardonic joke, I do not condone any sort of malicious communication or criminal damage
{iv} Sir Terry didn't get into bother with those trousers, did he? Or Janet & John stories.