Nights in bright Saturn

I've always thought Tomasz is out of this world; as if to prove a point, he's gone a few thousand miles away from the British islands, and done a weather forecast about Saturn.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/feeds/22373271

Not sure it would be much fun living on Saturn-- can't imagine the atmosphere would be great.

Onto to more mundane matters: Since moving to Oxford Circus, the weather forecasters have been furnished with headphone microphones {i}, which recall the great days of Steps {ii}. They seem to be causing a few problems, as The Schaf unwittingly demonstrated the other day. Either that, or he had a case of puma {iii}



Or perhaps he had a bad case of asteroids, as he did the other week



Hint of stubble, with that smile at the end [sigh]. What more could you ask for? A better quality of puns from me, might be a start, I suppose.


{i} There's probably a technical name for them. A notional bag of sweets, for anyone who can tell me the name
{ii} How did they manage to sing so well, when they were dancing like dervishes? That's what I want to know.
{iii} Pants Up My Arse-- a wedgie-- for those who don't read Viz

Stunning stubble

Not so much Tomasz today; as you may have heard, the UK is receiving a papal visit. No doubt he'll be preaching against alternative sexualities, ironic considering he wears a dress most of the time. I love the Popemobile, he's encased in six inches of bullet-proof glass-- there's faith for you.

Anway enough His Holy Farter {i}, we're here to worship Tomasz. I notice His Loveliness has been cultivating an impressive layer of stubble over the past couple of days, very prominent today-- it must be like the sweetest sandpaper. Certainly looked a treat on the telly at work...



Thanks to Terratec for that^

Also thanks to a very eagle-eyed reader, who sent me this newspaper article from Die Welt (Germany's foremost newspaper). A very youthful-looking Tomasz, and plumper (I don't mean that a nasty way, Tomasz). I don't know about you, but I think he's got loads better with age, I love his more chiselled looks these days!

Here we go... Tomasz and his "Stinkefinger"

I hope Tomasz isn't too embarrased by that photo! I think he's even nicer now...





{i} Copyright Officer Crabtree

Wiggly weather-fronts

Obviously the long bike-ride has done Tomasz the world of good, he's been looking particularly fetching this week.

Yesterday he was sporting a fine layer of stubble: No doubt some of our friends on 'certain' websites will be castigating The Schaf; telling him he needs to get a pair of strimmers, or he looks rough. Nonsense I say, the stubble is the trademark of Tomasz's look and makes him look becoming, sod what overbearing forum miseries say. Liking the pink tie here...



On to today, "Presenter Name" was wearing a neat violet tie with flowers on... hopefully not ones that excrete pollen. If anybody can glue us to the telly, it's His Loveliness! I like to play with Tomasz's... err... I mean I'd like to play ball with Tomasz. I'm sure his tackle is better than any England player's, and he makes me want to dribble. Yes {i}



"Hot and sticky" making Tomasz laugh there... sometimes he makes it too easy for me! He had a cute giggle on News At One too-- the endorphins must be still whizzing around long after his pedals have stopped.

Thanks to Terratec for the cute clips as ever. I need a lie down after thinking about a hot and sticky Tomasz.

If you think that's bad, whatever you don, don't fast-foward to 00:36:00 on here, in the next few days

["Coat already fetched, fingers reaching for the door handle" emoticon]

{i} I did think about becoming a footballer once, but I couldn't spit far enough.

Having a blast with Tomasz

Terratec has been kind enough to provide a doublebill of our hero, from yesterday (a big thanks as ever). First we have the midday forecast from the News Channel, where poor Tomasz had a little coughing fit-- he obviously needs something soothing to swallow. Still the stubble looks nice, and I'd say Tomasz is a brightness poking through the gloomy weather {i}.

For News At One, his forecast followed a piece about the space-shuttle launch. Our very own "pocket rocket" {ii} made a couple of amusing quips alluding to this story-- talking off "blasting off" {iii} and "rocket science"-- Tomasz's humour never fails to make me smile and my heart melt



{i} Or "verreh claadeh" as they say round my way
{ii} Copyright Simon McCoy
{iii} He wasn't talking about wind... well not *that* sort wind anyway

Grooming guru, is it you...

A quicky with Tomasz today {i}...

One of my esteemed regulars to this blog, Grooming Guru, has done a superb interview with The Schaf-- about his grooming regime.

Ever wondered what make-up Tomasz wears? How he gets his stubble to be so delicious (I certainly have)? Whether he did remove any body-hair on that Attitude photoshoot? And how he gets his lovely dark-blond head hair so immaculate? Or what fragrancies he wears... just in case you get close enough for a sniff... in short how does he look so beautiful?

Well wonder no more Schaffanatics, go to this link right away...

http://groomingguru.co.uk/2010/01/26/exclusive-tomasz-schafernaker-interview/#comment-385

Great work there GG. I'm not sure about the David Beckham comparison though, although I've never 'got' Becks. Needlessly to say Tomasz has way more personality, charisma and far better-looking than David Beckham. I found the assumption that anybody who has a smooth chest, must remove their body hair-- there really are men out there who are naturally smooth! I'm fairly hairy, before anyone asks [chortle]

Sadly I doubt even Tomasz's tips can save me from munterdom (the state of being "szpetny" for my dear Polish readers).

What I want to know is, did the guru get lucky {ii} and interview Tomasz in person? Phil Avery on Janice Long last night, deprived once again [harumph]

{i} ["Austin Powers" voice]: Oooo, behave.
{ii} Ditto

What a grey day!

As Tomasz pointed out, it was a dull and grey day over a lot the UK today-- only one person can brigthen our day-- The Schaf. His innate chirpiness and animated performance... who could resist Tomasz offering to blow our foggy troubles away, or offering us a "big one"?



Not much to report otherwise... I hope the BBC bigwigs haven't tempered his behaviour, in the account of recent revelations {i}. Not to worry, because even a baseline performance from our Tomasz is heartwarming... especially with his pink ties, stubble and dazzling smile [sigh].

Thanks to Terratec365 for the video

{i} Literal and metaphorical

Double entry

Cześć to my new followers!

A blog post for yesterday and today: The Schaf's appearances have been fewer in the past couple of days, with live feeds from the Iraq inquiry and updates from Haiti understandably dominating air-time on the BBC News Channel.

Despite alleged ructions over his photoshoot, he was his usual adorable and bubbly self-- although the stubble had disappeared yesterday-- he still looks piękny.

Yesterday/wczoraj





I think Tomasz always has something pleasant in store for us-- never grey with him! Speaking of which, another pink tie-- perhaps this is becoming a trademark? On to more profound issues, I do like Tomasz's didactic explanations about the interaction of air masses-- he makes a superb teacher.

Today/dziś



Tomasz's buzzphrase was "winter is knocking on the door again", and it appears hibernal weather is upon in the UK again for the next couple of days. Has affected my part of the UK yet though, dry and a postively tropical 6C today: However if there is peril in Powys or the Pennines, we want our Tomasz to inform us about it. I suspect The Schaf will have a busy shift ahead of him!

Many thanks to Terratec365, especially for the slo-mo closeup!

Pure Goldwasser

The BBC's own Goldwasser in human form was certainly golden today. Firstly Kate Silverton mistakenly called him George on the News At One! A less phlegmatic individual would've baulked at such mistaken identity, but our słodky Tomasz laughed it off with his heart-melting giggle. Kate gamely expressed her gratitude at the end of her broadcast.

Tomasz is continuing with his unshaven look, sporting a nice growth of dark blond stubble-- I couldn't help but think what a nice rash it would give one-- then he finished with one of his coquettish smiles [sigh]. Another great blue tie too, suits him (sir), brigthens up the grey.



Thanks to Terratec365 for the video

You wouldn't let it lie

Lest we forget, Tomasz does have his day job (rejoice!). He was looking ravishing with his stubble again; that tie that compliments his sultry blue-grey eyes.

Never mind annular eclispe, I got a total eclipse of the heart watching this {i}



These late-week appearances by Tomasz augur well for a Country Tracks performance. I trust we have been performing raindances, capering naked around midnight bonfires and otherwise beseeching Providence etc-- in the hope that The Divine One will be appearing this Sunday?

All the more tantalising, now we know what causes all those curves under his tight shirts. Maybe one day he'll do a shoot for John Andresen so we can find out what he has underneath his jeans. Time for my lie down again [chortle]

Ta muchly to Terratec 365, for his usually stellar work

{i} [Cue "raspy Swansea" accent]: Turn around bright eyes. Oof, I think Bonnie Tyler must gargle with gravel.

Arise the Schaffanatics!

Considering a certain photoshoot has caused a large swell... in visitor numbers... I think it's only right that I officially create a name, for those who would like to get on their knees and worship Tomasz.

So arise the "Schaffanatics"! Or "Schaffans" for short, I don't want to be risking RSI typing out the former all the time. Well we have TOGs for Terry Wogan and Noonatics for Peter Noone-- so why not Schaffanatics!

I've just about recovered from seeing that photoshoot, via rigorous bouts of self-discipline. Then up pops Tomasz on the News Channel, with a lovely layer of stubble and his benzene-ring tie accentuating his luscious pink lips. He provactively talked of "thermometers rocketing" over the next few days, but he conceded that it was "a bit an exaggeration"-- he underestimates the power of his photos in Attitude (or the gorgeous smile he does at the end of the following)



Speaking of which, I finally got my hands on a hard one today-- a copy of Attitude that is. A lovely interview with Tomasz about his fitness regime and his work at the Weather Centre, plus some bonus pictures!

I shall scan it for tomorrow. If I do them now, I'll be doing my impression of the Emley Moor Tower again!

Speaking of leching on the Internet, by popular request:



Paul Whitehouse and Mark Williams we salute you. I also salute Terratec365 for his hard work too

Sunshine from Tomasz

On News At One today, Kate Silverton linked a heart-warming story to Tomasz: "Here's some more sunshine". Well The Schaf is a ray of sunshine to us; especially with that lovely smile he flashed at us, he digs his left heel into the ground {i}.

I approve of this new studio lightening they have for Tomasz's missives, it illuminated his stubble nicely today-- it shows him in a good light!



Meanwhile an interesting revelation on Janice Long's show, from Chris Fawkes. Our Jan was teasing Chris about his choice of casual wear for forecasts (on Saturday BBC Breakfast)-- Janice asked if they actually do get much choice of what to wear. "I just do what I'm told", Chris wryly replied. He then went on to say that each forecaster has their own wardrobe at the Weather Centre.

Hmm... I wonder what Tomasz's contains. A few pairs of taut jeans, pink ties and crisp rugby shirts no doubt. Imagine being a producer, telling Tomasz to wear something revealing for his adoring fans at home... or even being a fly in Tomasz's dressing room... {ii}

Footage may follow soon




{i} He always does that at the end of News At One bulletins. I think there's something quite endearing about the way he does it. Yes.
{ii} ... time for my lie-down again.

Heeeeeere's Tomasz

After Simon McCoy had introduced Tomasz for the weather at 10:58, there was a wait before the Weather God appeared. When he finally appeared, Tomasz humorously announced: "Here I am!". Fancy keeping us waiting for Tomasz, perhaps it's to build up suspense for event.

At midday Tomasz didn't pull it out today; but he was sporting his fetching stubble again (would give a lovely rash). He harked back to last night, when it was very windy outside: "I didn't get much sleep last night, it was very blowy"-- made the windows rattle apparently. I can imagine... oof, all sounds like something out of one of 'those' Janet & John stories {i}. Especially since Tomasz said there would be showers flirting about today, on News At One-- the tease.

At the end of 13:58 bulletin, he told us it will be a bit of a "chill" over the next few days. I think I'll need to, after all that!


^Thanks to Terratec365{ii}

{i} See Sir Terry Wogan snigger.
{ii} Congratulations to Terratec. He managed to squeeze in four sessions of Tomasz, within 10 minutes. Isn't he the lucky one?

BBC weather's shooting star

The Schaf was back after a couple of days absence-- sadly there was no scope for merriment for him. As is often his lot, he was charged with giving us some grim weather news.

He had an "extreme weather warning" for Cumbria and Dumfries & Galloway-- five inches of raining heading their way. Northern Ireland, Argyll & Bute, Ayrshire and the Ilse of Man (lest we forget the Manx!) will also be affected. Also gusty winds will continue to be a problem.

Despite the bleak outlook, Tomasz did treat us to a nice light blue tie and a lovely growth of designer stubble. Double-bill follows 10:56 and News At One forecasts...

Tomasz's bit of rough

Rough weather heading our way over the next 36 hours-- heavy rain and strong 80mph winds coming in from the (south-)west {i}

Of course there's only one person who can gives us the bad news re-assuringly, that's our Tomasz. On News At One, we were treated to a nice sideways close-up shot of Tomasz as he told us the worse; he was sporting a lovely layer of designer stubble and a bright pink tie-- looking absolutely ravishing.

It wasn't all bad news; he took great pains to inform that it was good news for his friends in Scotland, with just light and dry winds breezing across the nation.



Also from 10:58 this morning..



Thanks to Terratec365

{i} So be careful if you walk near any precipices, you may get sucked off.

Ivy league

A nice triple-bill of Tomasz today: His message was that autumn was at "full-throttle", and so was Tomasz's performance-- indeed I was at full-throttle watching him {i}.

At 11:58 he was doing an "autumn watch" piece about the flowering of ivy; even in the wilds of Moray and Aberdeenshire, ivy is flowering at present. No doubt this will be of interest to our Tomasz, since he maintains his own garden-- I wonder if he has ever had a creeper up his trellis?

For News At One, Kate Silverton clearly had amused him-- since he started his forecast with a brief chuckle. We got a nice view of his designer stubble; a couple of days' worth there I'd say, accentuates his lovely pink lips nicely {ii}. Tomasz was commendably enthusiastic about the weather, despite the heavy rain that was plaguing some parts of the country.

Then just before 1pm, the News Channel was left in the "weathery hands" of Tomasz; he did a bewitching groping motion with his hands, as if he was about to tickle somebody {iii}. Tomasz was at his hyper best today. A bonus forecast from 10:58 starts us off..







Thanks once again to Terratec365
["Bruce Forsthye" voice]: Didn't he do well? Ahvivivivuh.

{i} Less said about that, the better.
{ii} Move over Gok Wan ("girlfriend")
{iii} Now there's a thought.

Looking fine for the weekend

Tomasz was back today on Radio 4 and News At One, in a merry mood: "Sunny spells, that's our favourite weather phrase", he enthused. Tomasz's re-appearance this lunchtime would indicate that a Country Tracks performance for this Sunday is on the cards... fingers crossed.



Tomasz had the unshaven look again today, looks as though the designer stubble is here to stay! A bulletin from just before 11am today... it looks as if Tomasz was anticipating a customary 'clever' remark from Simon Coy at the beginning!



With thanks to Terratec 365 for the video

On a side note, I'd like to say a big thanks to people who have decided to follow my arcane ramblings-- I hope you continue to enjoy the blog. I like to think we are swelling Tomasz's ego (!)

Stunning stubble

Tomasz was on form for his Radio 4 broadcast today, getting enthusiastic about a sharp contrast in temperatures last night: 3C in the depths of Scotland, whilst London enjoyed lows of only 16C, most curious.

The latter was due to a former tropical storm, which has dragged warm and moist air from the Azores. Also brought with it a large amount of rain for southern England, which Sophie Raworth teased Tomasz about-- which gave him a giggle on News At One.



He was wearing his lovely sky-blue tie today, plus he was cultivating stubble for the second day running-- a bit more obvious than yesterday. I look like tramp if I don't shave once a day, alright for some!

However I think Tomasz looks effortlessly gorgeous with or without stubble. Although stubble does add a certain something to his appeal-- what does anybody think?

Under the weather

Tomasz came on the News Channel today, very rueful: "It's not one of those forecasts I want to give; one of those days where you look outside, and you don't want to go to work-- I had to unfortunately!".




Aaah... well I say Tomasz always brightens up our days, especially with the becoming stubble he was sporting today! He was a bit chirpier come lunchtime...